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Posted by: muntahunta Sep 9 2009, 02:00 PM

heyhey, another song by me... im just after comments about the structure of the song/lyrics/etc, i know the recording isnt perfect (timing issues, bas mix, vocals very... ug, etc) but I thought you guys could give me some insight as to wether I should keep persuing this song. im not sure if I like it 100% yet, maybe some outside comments could sway me either way?

cheers
Chris

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=8075598

you know the people that play this game
you know the people that drive you insane
cant walk cant talk or die today
sit there, wont you hear what i have to say

and you might crumble and just cant take no more
and you might tumble ill watch you hit the floor

yea, gonna hunt you down
gonna watch you drown
lead you astray
your so far away
your so far away
running through that mind
could you be so blind
leave it for today
your so far away
your so far away

you know the way you can share this blame
you know the way itll never be the same
cant hide i tried to lie today
follow me, today were gonna do it my way

dont know all the things that you became
dont know what to say when you call your name
cant chase, this place i try today
just deny, keep going cause im here to stay


and you might crumble and just cant take no more
and you might tumble ill watch you hit the floor

yea, gonna hunt you down
gonna watch you drown
lead you astray
your so far away
your so far away
running through that mind
could you be so blind
leave it for today
your so far away
your so far away

SOLO

yea, gonna hunt you down
gonna watch you drown
lead you astray
your so far away
your so far away
running through that mind
could you be so blind
leave it for today
your so far away
your so far away

Posted by: Rated Htr Sep 9 2009, 02:11 PM

Have to admit, that at first I thought that it would be a ballad in acoustic, by the name. As you said, the recording needs work, especially the drums which are killing my ears

Love the chorus, I think the song has good chemistry...It does resemble Nickelback with some more speed. I only feel sorry that the guitars don't show their true power to unleash the beast in the song.

Come back with better recordings please
As for the structure it sounds great, the lyrics, you better post them, it's easier

Posted by: muntahunta Sep 9 2009, 02:23 PM

done, thanks for the comments man

yea, i need a studio lol, this bedroom recording totally doesnt work for anything heavy lol

Posted by: Rated Htr Sep 9 2009, 02:31 PM

yes it does, you just gotta know how to do it, not that i'm the best one to give such advice

Lyrics also seemed Nickelback related...The old rhythm stuff...Still, it works well inside the context of the music, now bring me some new recordings

Posted by: muntahunta Sep 9 2009, 02:32 PM

QUOTE (Rated Htr @ Sep 9 2009, 02:31 PM)

yes it does, you just gotta know how to do it, not that i'm the best one to give such advice

Lyrics also seemed Nickelback related...The old rhythm stuff...Still, it works well inside the context of the music, now bring me some new recordings

Posted by: Ivan Milenkovic Sep 9 2009, 11:55 PM

Great song man, I like it a lot!

The first groove kinda feels like Manowar a bit!

Posted by: audiopaal Sep 10 2009, 07:17 AM

Good recording and great song!
The drums and guitars could use a little tweaking/mixing, but the sound is pretty good!
Your singing is great as always

Thanks for sharing

Posted by: Jesse Sep 10 2009, 08:25 AM

That is some kick ass singing!!!!!!!!!!!! Really like this tune...

Posted by: Laszlo Boross Sep 10 2009, 09:13 PM

I really enjoyed this song. Maybe the solo part can be more interesting if you use some exotic scale. But this is perfect.
Congrats!

Posted by: dark_dude Sep 11 2009, 04:35 PM

Vocals remind me of Skid Row. Nice.

Posted by: muntahunta Sep 13 2009, 01:36 PM

wow, skid row!!! thats a new one

Ive had Shinedown, Metallica, Nickelback and Motorhead from this song, but your the first with skid row

thanks man

Posted by: Emir Hot Sep 13 2009, 02:07 PM

Great voice man, reminds me of some 80's metal bands