Paintings, third song Options

[Marek Rojewski]

Hello again! For the last months I've been going through days full of bad mood, sadness and other negative emotions... Don't want to tell to much bout it, so lets just say that the lyrics were done when I had enough of sitting on the chair and waiting for the day to end.. The lyrics were written in less than one hour, I haven't correct anything, I decided that it is better to write than to think to much, as most probably it would result in not writing anything at all..

Paintings

Red in redness deepened
mark the gates to heaven
angels singing beckoned
still his spirit craven

Noone ever knew his name
as he gained so little fame
Unforgiven was his shame
all he did was just in wane

Immersed in curiosity
the brush unpatiencetly painted green land
Douse in purity
safe world created from under ones hand
All in black ink drowned
as always night is crowned

Noone ever knew his name
as he gained so little fame
Unforgiven was his shame
all he did was just in wane

Sank in love
blue paint hungerly brings to life the endless sky
Dipped in high-above
myriad stars splashed on the wide nearby
All in black ink drowned
as always night is crowned

Noone ever knew his name
as he gained so little fame
Unforgiven was his shame
all he did was just in wane

Driffing in limbo
Paintless painting dully presenting nullity
shattering the rainbow
Puzzling colorless bricks to keep sanity
All in black ink drowned
as always night is crowned

Submerged in life
Iron brush calmly spills a sea of scarlet
wooden planking is't rife
a canvas standing for refused gauntlet
All in black ink drowned
Finally life dethroned

Comments and criticism is more than welcome, as always

This post has been edited by Marek Rojewski: Mar 4 2009, 08:21 PM

[Rated Htr]

[quote name='Marek Rojewski' date='Mar 4 2009, 07:20 PM' post='348854']
Hello again! For the last months I've been going through days full of bad mood, sadness and other negative emotions... Don't want to tell to much bout it, so lets just say that the lyrics were done when I had enough of sitting on the chair and waiting for the day to end.. The lyrics were written in less than one hour, I haven't correct anything, I decided that it is better to write than to think to much, as most probably it would result in not writing anything at all..

Hello Marek, welcome back Think this is the first lyrics I'll analisy from you, don't know if you usually read my comments on the lyrics board, but I like to analise what I feel when I read and try to guess the point of the writting so, no bad or wrong about my comments

Paintings

Red in redness deepened
mark the gates to heaven
angels singing beckoned
still his spirit craven

I feel you're lost, mixing hell and heaven because heaven seems far away or destroyed

Noone ever knew his name
as he gained so little fame
Unforgiven was his shame
all he did was just in wane

Kinda think about Blind Guardian now, bard's song message. Terrible sin that was done by an unkown man.

Immersed in curiosity
the brush unpatiencetly painted green land
Douse in purity
safe world created from under ones hand
All in black ink drowned
as always night is crowned

you have a beautiful way with words...Artist bounds now, creation of what's perfection for his eyes yet the real world seems nothing like it.

Noone ever knew his name
as he gained so little fame
Unforgiven was his shame
all he did was just in wane

Sank in love
blue paint hungerly brings to life the endless sky
Dipped in high-above
myriad stars splashed on the wide nearby
All in black ink drowned
as always night is crowned

I think this is a continue of the description of a painting, right now I'm getting a bit lost . But the idea of the last two verses remain, which is a contradiction like I said in the beginning, darkness is the reality that's full...

Noone ever knew his name
as he gained so little fame
Unforgiven was his shame
all he did was just in wane

Driffing in limbo
Paintless painting dully presenting nullity
shattering the rainbow
Puzzling colorless bricks to keep sanity
All in black ink drowned
as always night is crowned

I'm sensing Edgar Allan Poe remarks to the Crow . The painting is finished, but it only brings confusion, the 4th verse makes me think that seeing such beauty makes a person stay alive not wanting to accept the dark around him to end his life

Submerged in life
Iron brush calmly spills a sea of scarlet
wooden planking is't rife
a canvas standing for refused gauntlet
All in black ink drowned
Finally life dethroned

Ok, gotta admit my ideas are really coming randomly, I'm not used to find such a wide variaty of feelings in a writing and not used to find it about such trivial subjects if you pardon my way of thinking . Just persisting the idea that the painting is life itself as you want to see it.

Have to say, this was fun, very different from what I'm used to read

Cheers
Filipe

[Eat-Sleep-andJam]

This is very nice Marek, it really helps me feel your sadness and depression through this hard time for you and to be able to convey that to the reader, is a job well done.


As always, keep writing. It will help you vent a little bit.

Hope you feel better man,

[Marek Rojewski]

Thanks for the Your kind words comrades:) Rated - well each verse is a different painting, the first and the last one is the same... But the comment is great, as it shows that my words can be interpreted in different ways, I feared that this one will be very simple - flat.