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> Hmm..., Sorry if it gets too emotional : P
post Jun 16 2009, 02:04 AM
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Hi! I can't really belive it's three years ago I wrote or visited this site. God I still remember the time of freelicks.net, and when this site was not very large. Chris you really have made water to wine, it's really different in a very good way!

I don't want to sound too emotional, but the reason why I'm writing here is because im just starting to recover from a major depression. My last two years feels like a black hole, and of course that has left nothing the way it used to be. And most importantly its had a great impact on my guitar playing. I haven't quit totaly, but its just been so much less than before. And my creativity and will to learn new songs was practicly none at all in some periods.

Why im writing here and not talking to my psychiatrist and friends or family is because music and guitar playing is just such a big part of me as a person. And really none of my friends etc can understand that fully, couse none of them are musicians. The sad part as i feel is that i have missed two or maybe even three years of my life (im turning 19 this autum), and precius time for progress on my instument.

Now it kinda feels like it's too late for me to walk that path. Im still kind of question myself if it just was depression that made my feel that way towards playing, or if its just that its not really my thing at all. Now it feels like i am in a position from where i have to choose my future life. I just wanted to hear what fellow musicians think or maybe i just had to write down some of my thoughts.

Sorry for my english, never really got it down : P

Thank you for any reply, and take care all good people on GMC!

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post Jun 16 2009, 03:05 AM
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As someone else who "wasted" some time away from music (about 6.5 times as much as you did) let me say this resoundingly clear and loud:


You are still quite young and it is very likely that your depression is causing you to feel that you've lost an opportunity. That same depression may also prevent you from believing all the encouragement that GMC is about to lay down in this thread but please try to listen.

It is not too late. As you are still only 19, I will even say that it isn't late at all. It is "slightly less early" and you can choose to accept or deny that on your own smile.gif


http://jafomatic.net/tunes/ <-- Here lies the master collection of my collaboration and other improvisation recordings.

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post Jun 16 2009, 03:05 AM
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Learning Apprentice Player & Challenge Star

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Sorry to hear you are in a bad place bro! This is exactly the kind of thing you SHOULD be discussing with your therapist! The only consulation I can give you, is that you are NOT the first...last...or only person (musician) to feel this way...there is a reason "the blues" are called "the blues"!

It is never too late to get serious about anything in life. You are 19 and you think it is too late to become a killer guitarist?! I am 36 and just started playing last year!! It is never too late to do something you want.

Hang in there bro...use your guitar as a tool to get the emotions inside of you out that you can't get out with words or other actions.

See you on stage someday! \m/

- Kirk Hammett

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David Wallimann
post Jun 16 2009, 03:45 AM
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First off, I am very happy to hear that you are starting to get out of your depression.
I'm sure many of us know the feeling. As artistic people, we tend to feel things in a deeper way that some and that can lead to depression. I certainly have experienced that...

I don't think it is too late for you. Really, there is no age. We are artists before being guitar players.. Your real purpose as a musician I think is to share with the world what and who you are. Experience is what makes stories, and stories are what make music. Those two years are not lost bro. It's often out of pain that comes the most beautiful things...

I'm recently turned 32 and often feel too that I kind of lost a lot of years.. But then I remind myself that it doesn't matter that much.. What matters is that you are unique, and no one can ever tell musically what you can tell the world. That's the beauty of music. Sure, some players can play faster than you, but at the end of the day, what really matters is what you have to say with your instrument. Technique is a tool that ultimately anyone can acquire. However no one will ever be able to create what you will with your instrument, because you are unique and beautiful.

I hope that helps!

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post Jun 16 2009, 06:15 PM
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Three years is nothing mate, you are young and they might seem like a lot, but believe me, you have plenty of time to learn, you are young, just go for it wink.gif

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post Jun 16 2009, 07:12 PM
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Hi Molgan, I remember you since you use the nice of a radio show person. smile.gif
Has it been that long??? Nice to see you back. smile.gif

Don't worry, playing the guitar is for fun for most people and it's fun wether your 19, 39 or 69 yrs old. I _started_ on guitar when I was 20 and soon that's 20 years ago, it's still fun and I enjoy it more now than before.
So you lost nothing imo, just pick up where you left. Get back into our community and have fun biggrin.gif

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Ivan Milenkovic
post Jun 17 2009, 12:14 PM
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Don't be afraid to get too emotional, emotions are good, and sharing them with people is an important part of being a good and mature human being. We all have some problems at one point or another in life and at those crossroads thing can really look black and out of our reach but just stay focused on what you really like in your life and work your way completely out of depression. It seems to me that you are not quite free of it yet which is perfectly normal cause depression is NOT something you can just say one day:"OK I'm out". It just takes a lot of time to people get on with their lives and really start to feel joy, and depression can kick in in any hard moment again in life but you have to remember that you have the power to stop it now, you have been there and don't want to look back - you just want to look forward. No regrets - only hope. Good luck man and never give up the things you love to do in your life.

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post Jun 17 2009, 02:23 PM
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I have periods of depression sometimes too. Sometimes they last for days, sometimes for months, but in the end, after such periods, I usually feel boost in creativity. My best songs were written after periods of depression. Simply get it out, and write what you feel and what you've felt. That's winning combination. smile.gif
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