I recently discovered that my new 2003 LP smells like a woman. No kidding here, it really smells something sweet and kind of perfumed. I cant recognize that smell with any guitar polish or similar either... Is this the new deal from Gibson in order to keep their customers???
But really, I have no clue what this smell is coming from, and it doesn't match with either my image as an artist or my russian hat!
So what shall I do? Any suggestions ???

//Staffay

It's obviously jealous on all your new guitar, and turned to the makeup box to regain your attention.

Your LP is feeling overlooked and lonely. Tell it it's fine as it is and that you'll never abandon it for that other guitar but that you love them both equaly much. And just saying it won't help, you have to show it too. As soon as it lays off the perfume you should go to it, tell it you prefer that woody smell and show your appreciation, play them old licks you used to. Show some love!

Hmmm, that's some theory! But I played her for about 2-3 hours yesterday so she can't complain bout that.... (maybe I have to move that make-up box out of my studio/guitar area??? ) The strange thing here is that I have some other old guitars and they just have the same old smell of coffee poured all over them, beer, cigarette-smoke and old underwear.. (like a guitar shall smell)
Lets hope that the other guitars don't adopt this LP behaviour - otherwise my house gonna smell like a Ladies rest room at the Grand Central Station!

WOHAA! The sent of a woman.

Two questions arise...



Yes you should! And what is it doind there in the first place? ...non rethorical, don't wanna know.



How do you know the smell of a ladies rest room at the central station ...same thing here, I don't really want to know

Think you've been on the coffee again staffy!

True about the image though, maybe you could be the eddie izzard of the guitar world and start wearing frocks on stage? You're right though, it doesnt suit the hat so send it to me.

Since You obviously dont wanna know what I know and I'm sure that You already know by Yourself , I won't tell anything either...
But with all respect to our little secrets in life, I was down in the basement now and the fact remains the same: She STILL smells!!



Hahaaa, are You sure You want the hat? Don't wanna have the smelling LP instead??

HAha, cool!

hahhahhahahhhah ... sorry , i got nothing to say here that's not going to get me banned for a week ... so i'll just let it be ..

Thats a wise decision, I know since I had been banned before.... Lets just use our imagination here...

But this is no joke as I said in the beginning, my LP really SMELLS like a woman..... maybe Zakk has something on the topic????

//Staffay

maybe the problem is your hardcase that you left on a girlfriends flat for sometime?

Start polishing her with Engine Oil. That'll soon get rid of the smell!!

you could always start cross dressing , and no one will ever know, well about the guitar ,

a perfect solution, in theory. I can sense some flaws to the idea put in practice though
Be sure to FILM it if you go for it Staffay!


Staffay, I think I know now. Jokes aside. Your daughter has been sneaking in there trying the LP out, I'm guessing she's not allowed to touch so she had to do it in secret, while you were sleeping or out

this is not a good suggestion- now staffey is going to have to sneak in to her perfume to see if he can find the right scent ,and she will probably cacth him , and do you see just how messy this might get

Haha, this is rather hillarious to be honest.



Good idea!

Hm yes, more or less messy depending on weather he took you up on your first suggestion to cross dress or if he's wearing his man clothes while getting caught testing perfumes

Hmm, what would you preffer?

Hmmm, or maybe it was that 19-year old Michelle Pfeiffer look-a-like that was in the case when I got home after the last gig instead of the guitar???



Cross dress? Why, I ALWAYS wear womens clothes! Ooops, now I poured coffee all over my bra!



Don't give me such bad ideas, Micke. It really sounds tempting!!!



I agree, besides that, is this the way to go for getting a "faster-than-the-speed-of-light " shredding technique? But it will be hard to bend the strings....

You guys are nuts

On topic: I wish my SG smell like perfume... it does smell like something ever since I bought it, but I believe it's lacquer, but it's not really pleasant... or unpleasant really... the case seems to be the source anyway. Maybe they pack them in their cases a bit too early before they actually dry 100% ?

Your guitar is new she wants to please you.... Don't worry in a few months she won't evenb shaved her legs anymore.

Staffay I Tink you are going stir crazy.

You need to get out more

In fact I woud go far as to say that the fact that you think that you think your guitar smells like a woman is a sure sign that you are having problems. The only known cure is complete withdrawal from the source of the problem, you need to send all your new gear to me

Sure we are nuts! Tell me one guitar player that's not???
I will agree to what You say, seriously, this is probably the case here, but the strange thing is that the guitar has resided on my wall for almost 2 months now and still smells..... Although I find it somehow a pleasant smell rather than disgusting... Maybe they put different smells in the laquer? Eg. if You buy a LP studio (which seems to be the cheapest), You get the smell of sleazy bar womens rest room, whilst buying a NOS, You will get a scent of Marilyn Monroe (or even better my personal favourite Michelle Pfeiffer, has to check this out)...
What do Ya think of that???

//Staffay



Months? My ex. didn't shave her legs, neither her upper lips one week after we got engaged.... those women...



Go out more? Nah, then my guitars will never forgive me..... and send them to You doesn't seem as a solution since I already tattooed "Property of a Swedish Maniac with a russian hat" in their backs.... And since that desription doesn't fit on You, it will be bad idea...

Thats just it Staffy these girls are individual you cannot treat them like you own them.

Give them up! Overcome your possesive tendancies, send them to me!

You will feel so much better.

If you are able to give up this obsessive, behaviour you have a chance of a normal (boring!!) life.

Remember Michielle Pfiffer likes to be wooed and cajouled rather than doninated.

On the other hand you could just shred them within an inch of their lives and let them know who is boss. Make them quake at the sight of a russian hat!

If all else fails and these smells still worry you then fight fire with fire and chasnge your aftershave!

What? I DO own them for gods sake.... And I will NOT ever more have a boring life, I rather kill myself before that....
For Michelle I'm ready to do everything, even give You the guitars - do You got her number????
And for that aftershave.... I have'nt been using neither aftershave or any razors or even trimmers since June last year - so why shall I begin now ???

Thank god I live in America!

That definitely tells me that somebody has been messing around with your LP. :D

BEWARE!!

I don't even know what to say Yes we are all nuts! I think you can just giver your LP a girls name (Michelle maybe) and enjoy it. I don't however want to see you taking her out to dinner and the movies, and then home for a little ... NO NO NO!!!

When i first got my LP last year, it had this funny sweet smell.. when i opened the case for the very first time, i was overwhelmed by the smell of the guitar.. Actually to the point where it was waaaaay too much for me..

And for a month or two, every time i had played my LP my fingers would smell of this sweet smell as well.. It was so "bad" that i almost got really tired of the smell.

After practicing with my band (who are all smokers, btw), my sweet sweet LP now smells terribly of cigarettes, and i would give anything to have that "new" smell back again... I miss it now..

At the moment i am using Dean Markley Love Potion #9 to polish my guitar, and while the stench of cigarettes is gone, and my guitar smells really really great, it's not quite the same..

perhaps i should just get myself a new LP.. Never ever play it and just open the case once in a while to get that smell..

Haha this is so funny!

Every now and then a thread really catches on... this should be one of the candidates to "Thread of the year 2010" haha

Aaaah!! Spot on! Finally someone who knows what I'm talkin bout here! But we are MEN (xcuse me again rokchik) for gods sake, our guitars can't smell like women, maybe I shall try to polish mine with my underwear???

my guitat just smells like me sucking

I am afraid both my guitars give off the same stench!

Ya, i get where you are coming from, and although i agree with you (to a certain degree), i dont want my guitar to smell the way that a small room filled with guys smells like after a week of partying..

naah, probably some lady in Gibson factory did a setup/testing on the guitar, so the perfume stuck from there

Hmmm, You may be right here Ivan. That also explains why their 50-year-NOS-expensive-as-a-new-car LP DOES'NT smell like that.(I was into the store smelling it the other day, just to be sure)
Probably the same lady tests the guitar as in the 50's, just as Fender has the same lady who wires the pick-ups on their NOS-pieces'o'junk. And thats a good thing regarding the employment of older people, so I decided to write Gibson a letter:

"Dear Gibson
My new Les Paul doesn't smell right, so I will appreciate if You can employ my former mother-in-law, so the next guitar I buy from You will have a more vintage touch. Also it may help me to get me interested in women again, since everytime I see her, I'm loosing the appetite for women and it always takes years to recover. In return I can smell-test every LP that comes into my sight so You may now which serials You have to get back to the factory.

Best Regards
A partly disappointed customer"

Btw. Here is how she looks:
(it really is THE picture that motivates me to play guitar instead of messing around with women.......)

//Staffay

With the kind of relation I have with my guitar I still prefer her to smell like a woman then to smell like a man. Don't you find there se something sensual about playing ? I prefer having a sensual relation with something that is more apparent to be a woman

Edit: And as for the picture I understand why you like guitar better then woman, but don't you know plenty of nicer woman thant that ???

Hmmm, thats true! But lets say that I would feel better with a guitar some more neutral-smelling.
Yeah, I do know a lot of good-looking women, but every time I get tempted to make a move on some of them, this picture are in front of my eyes.... thats really why I want Gibson to hire her, so that spell goes away!

I knew I had to get an SG custom... but I'm cheap

So what smell gonna that one have? The smell of Sarah (Michelle) Gellar ???
(Michelle´nust be "the custom" in it...)

//Staffay

thanks for the picture
now i'm going to have to go out and rinse out my mouth, i think i just through up a little

Does the music sound like it smells like that? is it girlie, sexy? don't know man, you have to inform the authorities

I did, and they started an investigation about the matter, so now can everybody drive a car without a license here in Sweden !!!

EDIT: And by the way, no one really knows if its girlie or sexy, just a scent of woman... but they have some theory bout alienation as well... (as always)