Hey buddy
It's great to see that you are posting takes so often! After watching your take, here are my thoughts about what you should work on to manage to bring this one into a nice shape:
Timing - you are rushing constantly throughout all the take, mate. My suggestion here, would be to record against the original take in order to observe where you tend to rush and also, to work on your stamina - playing at a constant tempo, usually requires relaxation and attention to what is being played so that you may always have a good timing and groove.
I think that things will be far better once you record against the original and why not, send me a take in a PM - I'd be glad to help out
All the best,
Cosmin