Some of you might have noticed that my forum name has changed and I think I'd better explain a little bit about it.

Later this month I will start on a 2 year 'real life experience' as part of my transition from male to female. A little after this I hope to be referred to a 'gender identity clinic' and to eventually undergo surgery in about 3 years time. I'm what some people call a m2f transgender and I'm diagnosed by the medical profession as having 'gender dysphoria'. (I actually don't like the diagnosis as it infers that I have a mental health issue but the diagnosis is required to be referred to the GIC.) According to the medics I have had GD since very early childhood.

All of my family and close friends know and are generally supportive - my sister's boyfirend is an exception, he wants to help me to visit a hospital. As part of my preparation for referral I'm now changing all of my social media stuff (facebook, forum names all of htat) to my new status and legally changing my name by deed poll and statutory declaration so that I can change my driving license, passport, bank details and so on. There's a whole lot of paperwork that I'm presently wading through!

If anyone has any questions about my transition do ask and I'll try and answer. If anyone is upset, annoyed or disgusted by my transition all I can say is sorry and that this is something that I must do.

Before I forget - my chosen name is pronouned 'Seer Sha'. It's an Irish name from just after the 1916 Easter Uprising in Ireland and it means 'freedom' and 'liberty'.

I'm really happy for you! I hope your story can serve as an inspiration to anyone who is scared or ashamed or anything like that - because there is no reason to be.

I wish you all the best!

Beautiful name! sounds music-like although english isn't my main language

You're very brave, I mean dealing with people is one thing but the operation and all legal stuff...I hate so much the legal stuff

I had a bisexual friend, still a friend but we don't see each other much anymore. He was more for the girls the time we met but in time as he fancied men more and I did notice the character changes. Actually I didn't mind the character change at all (or the guys he dated, though I hated each but never told him) but the character quality also decreased and that disturbed me. Maybe your sisters boyfriend is afraid of something like that?

Did you spend time with people who already went through the procedure? I guess that should help most as I'm not sure how much your friends can understand what you're going through.

Also I'm only curious, hope this isn't rude but do you believe you'll live and feel 100% woman in like 5 years? I don't know anything about the procedure but I'd guess there would be some natural limits? I guess I'm trying to ask if you're going to be ok with those limits.

All good here.

Congrats on your steps taken towards your new Journey! Learning who we are is what we are on this rock spinning around a star, to figure out imho. Sounds like you've done some serious thinking and are ready to take action.

I love your new name
It's a big step and I'm happy for you. I don't see nothing wrong about this. Actually if you feel that you must do this I think you made the right decision. I'm sure you thought a lot before to take this decision. The fact that family and close friends understand and support you it's a great thing.
Also all my respect because you talk openly about this without to be afraid about people reaction. Congrats and all the best!

all good. best of luck

You are the same person within, same heart; same spirit.

Peace to you.

Phil

Awesome for you taking that step! Sounds like you've thought it through and that it's the right path for you!

I wish you all the best through this and I'll still be proud to call you my friend.

^^^^^^^^

Kidding



I know it must have been difficult for you going through this and I'm happy you have made the step to be happy.

I use to be brutal towards and about gay people - that was until my son came out to me. When he hit puberty he went from a happy, energetic kid to a shy recluse. Very depressed, and we had him in therapy for all of his high school years.

It was right before he went to college that he told me. And when he did and I told him he was my son and I would never stop loving him, I saw his entire personality change.

All that baggage he carried was because he was afraid I would reject him.

I realized, it is not a choice, a decision you just wake up one day and decide on and I was hit in the face with a ton of shame over how I had acted all my life up to that point. I knew in my heart that people couldn't help the way they were, but it didn't effect me, so I was a prick about it.

Now I defend them against people just like me. Especially the conservative Christian crowd that lacks the emphasis of compassion and grace.

thanks everyone.

Hi friend, I'm really happy for you and wish you all the best on this new journey.

It always makes warm inside when people dare follow their heart and be themselves no matter what others think. I hope this will inspire others. Please keep us updated!

You must do what makes you happy! best of luck!

After much thought about pm'ing you my answer or posting it here,You did, so I will give you my honest answer( I think you would expect that of me by now) .
because I think it is where society sits (for better or worse).

Not knowing so many specifics I could be wrong on many things , but my only thought on who this should matter to ,to me, would be your spouse.Are you breaking any vows that you promised r.So many times in society we say"live and let live" and forgot to take someone at their vows.To me, thats what it means to go to someones wedding. That I will now hold them accountable to their vows. When I was young(and much better looking)I had many opportunities with the ladies while playing on stage,but I vowed to my wife to forsake all others , and for 17 years faithfully kept that vow(for the record, I don't have any plans to break it).My heart breaks when I hear someone has broken their vow for something they say "they just have to do". I will guess you were not forced to marry you spouse or forced with which your vows were.So I would tell any friend ,Keep your vows, of course if they didn't they would not be any less a friend, but honestly I would know that their word is only as good until they feel like it is "something they have to do"

So in short , if you are maintaining your vows to your spouse , staying married/ together
Yourspouse and vows are what matters. no problems here
Of course , if I missed a post about you separating I am the d-bag

Thanks again everyone .

jstcrn - yes I would always expect and want an honest response from you - it's one of the things that I like and respect about you .

My answer - after a little over 20 years together I've never cheated on my spouse. Regardless of that she has decided that she does not wish to support me on my journey.

Sadly, it sounds like she is the one that sorta backing out on the vows. I"m very sorry to hear this. I do wish you the best on your journey and hope find another to share your path.

to me, sounds like he made a life decision , without his life partners input.Just keepin it real. You made her decision for her and unfortunately you made it easy.
My heart is saddened by the pain you ,your wife and daughter must be going thru

For what it's worth - my now 'ex' knew I was transgender and wanted to transition from when we first met 20 odd years ago. In fact my 'ex' repeatedly promised me that she would support my transition if I 'just waited another year' - for 20 odd years. That I want and need to transition was never a secret. I am now in my 50s and every year makes transition physically for me more difficult simply because SRS means major surgery. A referral this year to a GIC means that if I am lucky that I may have SRS in 3 years time, when I will be nearly 60.

The fact that she knew from the beginning and has now decided not to support you is terrible. Now I'm not religious but a vow is a promise and I do believe in keeping promises but, and here's a big BUT, I really really don't know what I'd do if my wife said, out of the blue, that she wanted/needed to become a man. We're going on about breaking vows, and the fact that Saoirse's wife knew from the beginning makes it completely wrong, but how many would be able to have the strength and or courage to keep their vows in this situation.

Saoirse, I really hope you find peace and companionship for the rest of your life.

Phil

Saoirse,I want you to be sure, I require nothing from you to sway my opinoin or keep you from being a friend. As stated earlier there are many things I don't know and I have come to understand . I have seen , marriage to be one of the most beautiful and hurtful things in life. It hangs by a thread.As I would tell any friend , find your fault in the matter( to many of my friends never admit to themselves having any of the blame) and end up repeating same mistakes and therefore having repeating consequences. Love the heck out of your daughter, she needs you and your love the most .Most of what I see, is usually always is that the children blame themselves and I would hate to see that happen . I wish your family the best and hope for healing. sincerly
Chris