Not Doing So Well :( Options

[OrganisedConfusi...]

It's safe to say my life is going and has been going down the pan for the last 5 years and it's building to it's conclusion it seems right now. Here are the many things that haven't gone in my favour and it's safe to say I need help drastically.

1. My job is terrible. I get paid really well but it's the most depressing work I could possibly imagine and the manager complains at me daily and never tries to help out and he has had a general dislike of me from the start. I HAVE to find a new job. I can't carry on living with this job as every day makes me feel suicidal. I have to change this.

2. My money isn't good as it is and if I lose my job I'm screwed. This next payday in 2 weeks I have finally got into the plus for the first time in 6 years which should be a great moment for me but worrying about losing a job I don't want is overpowering this feeling as I know I'll be thrown back into this awful living and I have so much outgoing each month that I can't cancel and the biggest one doesn't end for good until October time

3. I have lost my love for guitar and more shockingly music. I never listen to music anymore. When people around me play it I get annoyed and tell them to turn it off. I hate the music I play in the band I'm in and I hate that we are now predominantly a covers band. This is dragging me down and the fact I'm useless on guitar after playing for near 7 years is demoralising also as I used to play for very large periods of time each day and I seem to have gone backwards.

4. I have like 1 friend that I care about and that is it and this means most weekends I just sit infront of the TV playing games for 2 days straight with about 4 hours for sleep in between.

5. I haven't had a girlfriend in like 5 years and I am getting older and older quickly but unfortunately I am an ugly loser with nothing to offer to anyone.

I have just lost everything over the last 5 or 6 years. I feel I did a degree that is useless even though it is a great degree to have I just don't feel I am good enough at it and I don't think it offers me many opportunities where I am now. And also I hate the UK and want to move badly anywhere else.

I just feel that over my whole life I have made wrong decision after wrong decision and I wonder whether things will ever be good for me.

If anybody can help me then I'd be very grateful as I am terrible currently.

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