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Posted by: lcsdds Oct 26 2008, 07:08 PM

I have been working on an instrumental for awhile now, my second attempt at writing an instrumental. I "borrowed" a progression from a satch tune and changed it a little bit and totally changed the solo section. I was wondering if somebody could give me some criticism. What do you guys think of the verse section. I like the tapped harmonics part, kind of a "summer song" feel. I don't know if I am crazy about the verse parts though. I have jammed over this progression for months now and this is what keeps coming out. I have zero songwriting experience, this is only my second attempt at a song. I also like the solo section but I haven't finished it yet, obviously. My question is, should I scrap the verse and try to come up with something new or should I keep working to improve what I have? Ignore the mistakes and timing issues, LOL!!. Any criticism, good or bad would be appreciated.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkvYiIaUWEM

Monte

Posted by: Matt23 Oct 26 2008, 07:28 PM

Its really good. I would keep the tapping bit of the verse and try to come up with a bit better melody, but what you have already is very good, im just trying to think of ways you could improve it.

Posted by: Tolek Oct 26 2008, 07:34 PM

Sounds really nice. The past part are: the tapping and the pedal note passage somewhere in the middle. Sometimes your bends aren´t at the right pitch, not that horrible, only a few Hertz too high or low.

Posted by: SonofDestiny Oct 26 2008, 07:48 PM

Wow that tapping is awesome! Did it take you long to practise that?

Posted by: lcsdds Oct 26 2008, 07:57 PM

Thanks for the input guys!! I know there are some pitch and timing issues. This tune has frustrated me so I just kind of did a one take recording to get the jist of it so I wouldn't forget it, LOL!! Has anybody else ever had the problem that the same melody keeps coming out over a particular chord progression? I wish I could erase the melody from my head so I could start fresh, LOL!! Thanks again for input guys!!

I've been playing for almoste 20 years so I guess it did take awhile

The whole tapping/verse is just something I heard in my head and tried to figure out on guitar. Like I said I have never tried to write a tune so I have no idea how composition is supposed to work. I guess it is different for everybody.

Monte

Posted by: Emir Hot Oct 26 2008, 07:58 PM

this is some very cool playing. well done

maybe just a little more control but for the second attempt sounds great. Note choice is brilliant

Posted by: lcsdds Oct 26 2008, 08:00 PM

Thanks Emir!! That means a TON coming from a player of your caliber!! I will just keep working at it.


Monte

Posted by: Ramiro Delforte Oct 27 2008, 12:56 AM

Nice tune. I would try some wide vibrato to make the melody more fancy. Watch the tapping arpeggios at the end.

Posted by: Pedja Simovic Oct 27 2008, 02:39 AM

I like the melody a lot

I would recommend working on vibrato and bending.
Phrasing/timing you are aware of mistakes as you mentioned so I won't elaborate on that.

Good work overall but there is place for improvement like with everything