For me, at the moment of fretting, I use as much pressure with my thumb as I do with the fingers pressing in the other direction. An equal opposing pressure if you will. Only the hand is involved doing this, the neck, arm and shoulder muscles are "neutral". By this I mean they are
always free of tension. The feeling is that the arm is kind of floating there and relaxed.
When you play, pay attention to your fretting arm and shoulder. People playing with too much effort will notice their shoulder rise up and the muscles in that area and the arm start to tense up. Sometimes even the neck muscles on that side will tense! Keep your shoulders even and keep your body relaxed. Take a moment to play some "air guitar". Now pick up your instrument and try to emulate that lack of tension and force with the real thing.
As Pavel clearly points out, very little pressure is needed to actually play. Whether your playing chords or scales, I feel you should
use only as much pressure as you need to fret the notes cleanly. One of the keys to playing very fast is to develop a very "light touch" and always strive to play with less effort and muscular tension throughout.
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