Mentioned this in the other thread, but if I'm going to talk about this song, I'll do it here. My analysis of the lyrics:
Oaaoow, I can see people envy me yeah
Flying high into the sky
And i believe in my destiny yeah
it´s to real 2 deny
this last line works great with the line above, so nice job. But for the first two lines, just too much, IMO, thats 5 words that rhyme is just 2 lines. Maybe something along the lines of "Oaaoww, and I know, you must envy me, yeah/flying up into the skyyyyy/and I believe in my destiny, yeah/its too real to deny)
Now! we are free don't pity me
Cry for my enemies yeah
my eyes see, beyond insanity
this is my reality
again, a little bit of chronic rhyming. Free pity me enemies see insanity reality, cry and my. A bit much for 4 lines O_O Maybe something like "Now! We are free, don't pity me/save your tears for.../MY (emphasis, like on Now!) enemies, falling to their knees/this is my reality, beyond insanity Open up your mind now
let me see you know
Meet me in the sky
Dont you try to hide, comin closer now
let us fly
I really like this chorus. Can't fault it White wings fly to my maker now
Always protecting me somehow
Wash my sins away All i wanna say
i will never go astray
I think if you got rif of "all I wanna say" and replaced it with something, it would sound a lot better.. maybe something like "wash my sins away/flyin' to my maker now/I will never go astrayCan i get any witness tonight
I walked the fine line on my way to capture the light
oh yeah, i will find my way
When will I know? When will I see?
When will I find? Eternity yeah
Open up your mind now
let me see you know
Meet me in the sky
Dont you try to hide, comin closer now
let us fly yeah
Meet me in the sky (meet me in the sky)
let us fly (let us fly)
Thats about it.. so, edited lyrics might look something like this (and its just a suggestion):
Oaaoww, and I know, you must envy me, yeah
flying up into the skyyyyy
and I believe in my destiny, yeah
its too real to deny
Now! We are free, don't pity me
save your tears for...
My! enemies, falling to their knees
this is my reality, beyond insanity
Open up your mind now
let me see you know
Meet me in the sky
Dont you try to hide, comin closer now
let us fly
White wings fly to my maker now
Always protecting me somehow
Wash my sins away, flyin' to my maker now
i will never go astray
Can i get any witness tonight
I walked the fine line on my way to capture the light
oh yeah, i will find my way
When will I know? When will I see?
When will I find? Eternity yeah
Open up your mind now
let me see you know
Meet me in the sky
Dont you try to hide, comin closer now
let us fly yeah
Meet me in the sky (meet me in the sky)
let us fly (let us fly)
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