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Posted by: opeth.db Feb 4 2009, 02:56 PM

Thanks for the talk last night Jer.

I feel I just need to vent. Feel free to dismiss the thread entirely.

I though I'd share my thoughts with everybody....

I was practicing Muris's collab 2 last night and realized I suck. I know I shouldn't be comparing myself to anyone here but its so hard for me not to. When you here licks in your head and it can't translate it to your fingers, that sucks.
Its hard to break free from hammer on, pull-off and slide licks. I been practicing with Smells and learning techniques but they are only as good to me as just learning the lesson themselves. To intergrate it into something new that your writing seems like an impossible task.

So the mental person inside of me starts to question why I am even playing guitar?

-Why do I care to learn this instrument so much still?
-Its not like Im in a band and auditioning for any?
-Im 34 with a 2nd kid on the way and do I really have time for it?
-Why am I paying to be a part of a website to learn?
-Why do I have such a drive to become a shredder?
-Why do I look at my guitar and want to play so badly?
-Why do I want to buy more guitars?
-Why do I care so much?

I swear it was like a turning point last night for me. Questioning my abilities as a guitarist when in fact I have none or at least very little. When looking at all the great players here and it just seems second nature to hem to play those licks. I understand it didn't come over night but do I have that time?

I have $5000+ dollars in equipment. Why? Why do I have to go to guitar center when my credit card is paid off to go get me some monitors and a midi controller? Why do I have that urge when Im not really doing anything with it?

All I know is I respect all the players here and what you have a accomplished. It seems so out of grasp to me and to comprehend that I may or may not get to a status that I can play freely troubles me. I have been at a hump that seems like forever and every night I play it seems taht I can't get over it. I feel like a beginer everytime I pick up my guitar lately.

I know that many of you will say just keep at it you will get there. But sometime I wonder if I even have the ability to get where I want to go? IF I truly don't have that ability to get where I want to be, whats the point of keep trying?

Who am I doing this for? ME? Maybe thats my problem, I always do everything for my family and always quit the thing I like to sacrifice for my family. My wife alwys tells me that I do that. The deeper thing she doesn't understand is that I quit the tings I enjoy to make the time for her so she can do the things she wants to do.

Now I have a son on the way and again going to hang up the axe for a bit. I hope when I get back to it I have a renewed interest in playing.

Frustrated,
Dan

Posted by: OrganisedConfusion Feb 4 2009, 03:00 PM

You want to carry on so you can teach your kids guitar

Posted by: Fran Feb 4 2009, 03:16 PM

You want to play because you love music and rock is in your veins

Don't think about it so deeply, focusing only on the negative side of the matter. You know you'll get better. What's important is having fun in the proccess. If you push yourself too much it's not fun. Try to stay in the golden middle, where you learn, have fun playing your lessons, songs & stuff, and remember that Muris and half the people here are actually aliens.

Posted by: Marek Rojewski Feb 4 2009, 03:25 PM

Well it is hard for me to make some wise advices but...
We practice guitar, because we like/love the guitar. If so, there isn't really any other reason needed. It is very necessary to do some thing that You like, because otherwise overall mood will decrease..
On the shreeding thing... Well this is another pair of boots.. Of course with enough practice You will most probably become a shredder one day. But You have to take into account how much time You have, and so how many years will it take to "shred like hell". I would be really happy if I could shred, but considering the time I dedicate to improve my playing, I will be very happy if I will become an intermediate player in the not so far future...

Posted by: fatb0t Feb 4 2009, 03:37 PM

I can't even tell you how many times I've felt this way... Seriously. It's a natural part of guitar playing. Sometimes you feel invincible and sometimes you feel 'talentless'. It's a cyclical thing and I can promise you that you won't always feel this way.

Now with regards to talent, Kris explains this better than anyone... It's just your dedication and persistence, you can achieve any goal you set as long as it's within reason..and being a shredder is totally within grasp. Sometimes you need to make sacrifices in other areas to achieve your goal - but if its what you want, you gotta go for it.
I had this problem with my woman for a few months, she just didn't understand that guitar is a major factor in my life. She's finally coming to grasps with it now. I know you're married and have kids and trying to move things around guitar would be impossible - but if you have down time, just pick up the axe.

Why do you care to learn guitar so much still? Because it's the most soulful instrument ever devised by man - it's bad ass!
You could be in a band if you want - go on craigslist get one... You'll improve as a player exponentially if you start playing with other people, I promise. This is probably what you need most, some other interaction with other musicians..
You probably don't have much time for guitar being a husband and a father but you can always make time for something you live.
You're paying for this website because it's the best resource available for guitar playing. PERIOD. Somehow Muris and Emir and David and all the other amazing guitar players figured out how to play without GMC. It's beyond my comprehension how that's possible but they managed...We're lucky though we got this resource we should exploit it to the fullest extent. They can show us easily what they had to learn the hard way...
You have drive to become a shredder because that's the music you listen to and identify with, not to mention it's bad ass.
If you look at your guitar and want to play badly that means you have the motivation you just need to make the time.
The more guitar the merrier as far as I'm concerned.. Though with a family you might need to conserve on the axe collection a bit

Anyways... don't give up man!! Plus we'd miss you on the forums
Now go record a take for Muris's collab when you get home...Who cares if it has mistakes - no ones perfect... Just put your emotion into the playing and it will come out to the listener (I need to work on this advise myself I thinks...)

Posted by: Dejan Farkas Feb 4 2009, 03:39 PM

You gave yourself an answer

Posted by: coffeeman Feb 4 2009, 03:46 PM

Hey Dan,

I was talking to a friend about this the other day. I was telling him that I have 2 things I do for myself , and onlz for my self , one is meditation and the other is playing guitar. These two times of the day are the moments when I really concentrate on me , the only important thing is me and my guitar.

Of course I would like to be an awesome guitar player , and thats one of the reasons I practice everyday , but that is not the most important reason. Is about living the moment with your guitar , who cares if you can't shred? No one , is just you and your music , express what you feel , but don't practice because tomorrow you have to impress someone with your playing. I suck too , but Im so happy when I play that I really don't care that I suck.

I'm 33 years old , I would love to be a professional guitar player , in the meantime I enjoy playing in my room.

These are my two cents my friend.

An other thing, you have improved a lot since you joined GMC right? Keep that in mind

Posted by: utak3r Feb 4 2009, 03:55 PM

I'll be 34 in 4 weeks...

I have quite few hobbies (electronics, software development, computer graphics, photography, mobile devices....), I have my wife and my little daughter (5.5yo). I'm pretty busy at my job.

So what? So month ago I took my guitar off the shelf - it was lying there for 15 years... my wife asked me if I ever have time for this... heck no, I don't have time. But I just HAVE TO play, it was sitting in me since being a teenager... and it's MY TIME

Posted by: Jesse Feb 4 2009, 03:55 PM

Well, I've had that too, and then you play a gig, and you get pumped! When I was playing Lenny, in the middle of our 5 songs, I was nervous, it was my solo piece, I felt the sweat dripping from my nose and I realized, this is what I want to be doing the rest of my life.

Posted by: jer Feb 4 2009, 04:55 PM

Great stuff.


There is no real explanation for why we do it.

We just do.

I feel like you from time to time Dan, you know that. A year ago or whenever it was I said almost the same thing. And you busted my balls and made me see the light. Now the roles are reversed.

I know 2 things.

1 - Often I can't see myself being a good guitar player.

2 - Everyday I cant imagine not playing. Imagine it. Try. All the gear, GONE. Walking over and taking your favorite axe off the wall, cranking the amp up and hitting that E5 chords with the gain/vol on 11. Nothing beats it man. And thats just 1 chord. What if you couldnt do that anymore?

Get what you can out of it. Practice when you want to. Learn what you want to learn. Find a way to be happy with where you are currently. And just enjoy it. Then get better. If you want to.

Since the MTP test run started with Can, I havent played more than 15 min of guitar that wasnt related to my lessons. I've never played that way before. I'm WORKING on it now. And its paying off. Slowly, but it is.

You signed up not long after I did. In Sept. Its been what? 4 months? And how many of those have you been really working at it? 3?

That's 90 days bro.

The piece you played for me lat night, the Muris collab idea. Its good. Real good. Its music. You are creating good music. Good ORIGINAL music. Thats more than a lot of folks can say.

Now imagine you walked into guitar center and heard someone in the next aisle playing that peice you just wrote.

Would you think:

"Man, another hack that has no idea what he's doing! I could never work here, I'd go crazy!!! What is there no school today?"
or

Would you think:

"Hey, thats a cool riff/lead! I'm gonna wander by and check this dude out."

I know which one I'd think.

Posted by: Fsgdjv Feb 4 2009, 05:12 PM

I tend to get frustrated easily aswell, and I think everybody feels like they are useless at playing at some point. Sure if I was Muris I wouldn't think about those things, but I'm sure that there are some players at levels like our insatructors that can get frustrated aswell, frustration comes with guitar playing, at least if you want to improve. However, the fact that it brings so many happy moments aswell makes it worth it. There's a quote I read a while ago that really fits.

"No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a strange, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others."

Posted by: jdriver Feb 4 2009, 05:28 PM

I wonder why we all deny our playing abilities? What do you FEEL when you are playing? If you are constantly thinking "I suck" while playing, then you need a break. On the other hand, if you think "that little turn around sounded pretty good, keep going." then playing is worthwhile.

Shredding is a great way to demonstrate technical virtuosity but there are many, many other ways to express yourself on guitar.

I sense that in the mood you are in, there's nothing anyone can say that will make you feel better right now. It will pass.

I think there is room in the Guitar Universe to contain Muris's greatness and my noodling, and all states in between.

Posted by: Jose Mena Feb 4 2009, 06:10 PM

Man, what you are going though happens to a lot of people, there are always going to be better players out there. I go to you tube and I see guys doing stuff with the guitar that I never thought off, but instead of being discouraged I try to learn, explore that technique, see if it fits my style, sometimes I don't bother because it would take to much time, sometimes I try to apply it little by little.

It is all a matter of patience, and dedication, Somewhere in the forum I read that Muris practiced like 9 hours a day or more, that is what it takes to shred like him.

I have friends that in their beginnings tried to shred, and play like Malmsteen, Vai, Satriani, but eventually decided that it was too much, it took time, and they weren't awesome at it, I am sure they would have gotten there if they kept it up, but they didn't, instead they focused on tone, phrasing, creating, and guess what they are great guitar players, from whom I've come to learn a few things.

OK so your goal is to shred, keep working those scales little by little, as it has been said before it is muscle memory, even if you can never play one of those insane Muris licks, you will be able to develop your own that will be equally impressive and challenging.

Take a break for now, and come back to it with energy

Cheers

Posted by: opeth.db Feb 4 2009, 07:22 PM

Thank you everyone. I appreciate the encouraging words.

Posted by: Lian Gerbino Feb 4 2009, 08:03 PM

well man, I´m sorry to hear that.
I know sometimes things are not easy at all, but dont give up.
you have to do things that make you happy. so just have fun with your guitar. I am not trying to say you, you have to forget the compromise with your instrument, but think about what you love from music.

may be, you have to focus on write some songs for you 2nd kid! or some sweet melodies for him/her!

hope you´ll be better soon!

Posted by: Ivan Milenkovic Feb 5 2009, 01:07 AM

Well, you don't have to put yourself down mate, you have a wife, son on the way, good life, worthy equipment - one word - fulfilled life! This is probably some sort of a temporary crisis situation and you know very well that they happen often in life! So cheer up mate, go one step at a time, and find a balance in your life that you need!

Posted by: jer Feb 5 2009, 01:25 AM

Did ya buy your Opeth ticket yet?

That'll cheer ya up!

Posted by: Pedja Simovic Feb 5 2009, 02:45 AM

Dan I really enjoyed reading your post, thank you for those great words.

I think you need to find somebody near you who is into music. For example, if you got Midi controler and are not using it, go to Craigs list put up a musician ad looking for somebody once a week or whatever works for you, who can meet with you and share some live 1 on 1 experience with you.

I really love GMC and concept behind it, but I always feel whenever we have some doubts , its best to share it with somebody live and have live jam.

One thing that comes to my mind is you can do all the things I mentioned via MSN or Skype with members from GMC !

I would love to do it but I dont have mic and I record my guitar using USB

As soon as I find a solution for that, I will open new skype and share it will all GMCers.

I think we all need that to feel that support live somehow (even via voice chat and playing as it will give you extra boost and support to feel good about your guitar dedication and abilities.


I hope this post helped in some way as I only had best intentions.

Thanks

Posted by: jer Feb 5 2009, 02:49 AM

Hey Dan. wanna take our guitars when we go to Opeth in Chicago?

Wait til the front desk sees us wheeling 4x12s into the lobby.....

Posted by: -Zion- Feb 5 2009, 08:18 AM

Hi Dan..

I am sorry to hear that "The Inner Game"* is almost taking over.

It's sooooo easy to get frustrated when you look at all these awesome players here on GMC..
You say to yourself: "man, if only i could do half the things they can do, i would die a happy man", so we go ahead and try to learn all the great lessons with all the cool licks and stuff, but it just doesn't sound like our hero instructor..

We strive to become sooo good that we forget what we've already accomplished.. it's like a drug.. we want MORE MORE MORE, and it cannot go fast enough..

We have already talked a lot about stuff like this, and this one of the reasons i insist on being in my band.. I need to have someone tell me that i am improving.. My GF cannot do this, as she has absolutely no understanding for what i am doing or trying to do.. I need equals by my side.. people who are going through the same as me.. and although all members here at GMC aren't shy to quickly tell you that you have improved a lot, it's just not the same as hearing it from your friends in person..

When too much time without the band passes (like for instance my current situation with a month of no band practice), i too get serious doubts about what i am doing, but i try to not let it take me all the way down, because in the end, it's the music i love, and i cannot live without it..

* It's from a book i can HIGHLY recommend.. http://www.innergameofmusic.com/books/bo_inner.html

Posted by: Muris Varajic Feb 5 2009, 01:06 PM

We all deal with similar problems from time to time,
main thing is that you enjoy playing guitar!!
Having 2 kids must be hard to manage with guitar practicing
but as long you love it you'll be fine,100%!!

Posted by: Koopid Feb 5 2009, 02:06 PM

I thought I would add my thoughts since I am in a similar situation

I am 37 in 2 months, I have 2 sons (3.5 and 5.5) and I recently started playing guitar (about 3 years ago). I have one thing you don't and that is I play in a band.

I have no natural ability (I know some people say that there is no such thing but I am certain there is) but I, like you, can hear stuff in my head and I am not able to transfer it to my fingers. I went through the same thoughts as you too. I am not improving in the pace I want, I still feel there is no natural flow in the things I managed to learn how to play and so on.

When I decided to learn 3 years ago I bought a guitar and a V-amp and Guitar Pro 5 and said to my wife "I wanted to learn guitar all my life, I will give it a year and if I havent improved I will sell the stuff and atleast I will know its not for me". I really worked on it too, signed up for "Rock School for Adults" and started to jam with some other friends that are also quite new to it. A year later I had improved but still a beginner and said, "One more year, same deal". Of course I had improved.

What I eventually managed to do now that I know I am improving, although slowly, is not to stress it anymore. I know I am improving, I am having a load of fun with it, I am in no hurry and I defenitly am not aiming to become Jimi Hendrix or Steve Vai. My brother (who is the most negative guy ever) tells me every time I play a cover "That sounds nothing like Angus Young!". I say "of course not, I am me, and if I could play like Angus I wouldnt be playing this crap for you would I?" hehe.

Dont stress it, when you stop looking at the guitar wanting to pick it up, then you can talk about quitting, until then, just enjoy the ride.

Besides, playing guitar while raising kids will most likelly awaken the intrest in them too which is always a good thing

Posted by: opeth.db Feb 5 2009, 06:38 PM

Rock on guys!

I appreciate the comments. I do enjoy playing the guitar and I don't think I would ever quit. To much time and money invested into it.

I will continue my journey at GMC fo sho.

Posted by: jer Feb 5 2009, 08:20 PM

Oh man..... I was hoping to get a deal on:

shucks....





Just kidding bro. I know you wont quit... I know where you live.

Posted by: Mandos Feb 5 2009, 08:24 PM

Sounds scary. I surely wouldn't quit if jer told me that.

Posted by: jer Feb 5 2009, 08:37 PM

"we have ways of making you shred...."

Posted by: opeth.db Feb 5 2009, 08:51 PM

LMAO! Awesome!

Posted by: jer Feb 5 2009, 09:16 PM

that avatar rules.

I still think we need to show up in Chicago with our rigs.

Posted by: sted Feb 5 2009, 09:42 PM

Im 34 too man, my wife and I are starting a family pretty soon and we both have demanding full time careers, I too spend far too much on guitar stuff and just cant fathom the reason sometimes (just ask my wife!)

But i cant tell you how great it feels to make those little gains each time i plug in and hook up a riff i just watched Ivan do on the monitor!

Life is one big struggle sometimes with so many things and people demanding your time but you really have to have a little time to just do something you love, if only for your own sanity!

As for being a master shredder, who cares? Most of us will never get to Muris' level of playing but thats not really the point surely? humanity thrives off creativity and its only because of like minded people such as yourself that we get to enjoy the interraction between a musician and his instrument, at whatever level of playing that may be. ever see Gilmour shred? Not likely but he is still rated by most people as the most influential guitarists of modern times, because its the right note in the right place that speaks to your soul, not 16th note triplets at 180 bpm!!!

As i always say mate, its not the destination, its the journey! (ps sorry for going on a bit)

Posted by: lcsdds Feb 5 2009, 10:09 PM

You know I think that all of us on this board have a condition that nobody can really understand unless they have it as well. I am like a lot of people on this board in that I have a wife, kids and a career that demand my time. I actually get up at 3am to practice guitar for a few hours so I don't upset my wife and take away from family time. I say this not to where it as a badge but to give proof of the sickness I have. We all have it. Why does Jer make youtube videos of himself playing Iron maiden songs and why do Can and so many people on this board care about it? I know we care about it because that thread was viewed the most during the MTP!! We care because we are ALL like Jer!! At some point in our lives we connected with the guitar and had this overwhelming urge to play the music of our heroes and we watch Jer make those videos because we are all struggling to play the music that moves us and we all want to see him succeed because we know what it feels like when you can finally play that Metallica solo and it actually sounds like the metallica solo.

Chops are like money, you can never have enough and you are never satisfied with the amount you have, and somebody always has more than you. I think we can all identify with Dan, especially those of us who know we will never get to be on stage in front of a screaming crowd or even in front of the chess club in college. But we play and try to progess anyways because we simply can't not play guitar!! Rock on Dan and GMC!!


Monte

Posted by: enforcer Feb 5 2009, 10:15 PM

Man, now that I am not a part of MTP anymore, if Jer accepts it too, you may join us in lessons? What do you think of this?

Posted by: -Zion- Feb 5 2009, 10:16 PM

and this my friends.. is why i love our big big family here @ GMC.

Posted by: jer Feb 5 2009, 10:18 PM

Hey, the more the merrier.

The more people working on stuff with me the more motivated I am to keep up.

Posted by: lcsdds Feb 5 2009, 10:36 PM

If you were talking to me Can I would love to work with you and Jer. I want to help anybody I can and anybody that wants my help.

Posted by: enforcer Feb 5 2009, 10:43 PM

Actually I was actually refering to Dan, but I would love to learn from your experience my master

Posted by: jer Feb 5 2009, 10:47 PM

Lets just have a big Can, Dan, Jer, Monte study group.

I'm not bringing the beer first, I CALLED IT!

Posted by: enforcer Feb 5 2009, 10:50 PM

hahaha

Posted by: lcsdds Feb 5 2009, 10:55 PM

I don't drink so I'll bring the Diet Pesi.

Posted by: fatb0t Feb 5 2009, 11:19 PM

If I can come I'll bring a 36 pack...

Posted by: jer Feb 5 2009, 11:21 PM

word

Posted by: lcsdds Feb 5 2009, 11:27 PM

Maybe we could do a GMC get together US version!!

Posted by: audiopaal Feb 5 2009, 11:29 PM

Because you love it, because it's fun, because it takes your mind off other stuff, because you got friends here to help you and did I emntion it's fun?

I couldn't play most of the lessons if my life depended on it.
I play because I love to play, no matter how skilled I am or how skilled I get.
I'm not planning on a career, I just wanna play and have fun.

Don't focus on the bad things about playing guitar, focus on the good stuff

Hopefully you'll pick your axe back up and join us again, we're here to help you

Posted by: Ctodd Feb 6 2009, 06:44 AM

I just read every single post in this thread, and it was very enlightening.

I have had similar doubts about my guitar playing and such... but I am a 21 year old college student, my only obligation is school... and I still have doubts about how much time I spend on guitar...

for instance, today, I didn't actually sit down, and practice. This is very out of the ordinary, I messed around for about an hour, but thats about it. Tomorrow, when I go to sit down and do my normal 3 hours of structured practice, It's going to feel like its been a long time since I last played. I know this because a few weeks ago, I went a day without playing much, and the next day I was like "whoa, I haven't played in awhile."

My name is Chris, and I am a guitar addict. (aren't we all? )

but back to the topic at hand, I often asked myself similar questions like "why am I playing guitar?"
and well, I'm not sure why, but reading this thread has removed several of my doubts.

I do it because it's immensely gratifying to sit down, and just make a little bit of music
hell I love just doing the up and down slide on the thick string, it's just an awesome sound.


that's what I just came up with, and I'll stick with that reason for awhile.

this was a good read, and Don't ever put down the guitar if you don't want to Dan!

Posted by: jdriver Feb 6 2009, 10:45 PM

Yeah, what he said!

"And I am unanimous in this!"