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[derper]

I played an EMULATOR gig, as part of the ED Forman show this Saturday. The show is local comedy show, somewhat in the format of a (raunchier) Conan O'Brien show. So, when we play, we not only play our songs...we are the HOUSE band, and we play music to get guests up and down off the stage, etc.


Ok, that's the "show", but let me give some info on the day before which is relevant to my gig nightmare!

The day before, I moved. U-haul truck, a bunch of friends, sun beating down...a LONG, tiring day! Still, saturday before the gig, I had to make some runs between houses, restring my axe and practice before the gig (for practice, and to stretch the strings!). Sometime throughout this, I realize that I can't find my cat anywhere! I convince myself that cats are the "kings of hide-and-seek" until I see the bedroom window he was claiming as his perch...and the screen fell outside on the ground!!

Gig time approaching, and I haven't found my cat, and a headache is creeping in, and I am TIRED! It's about 5pm and 6pm is load in.

I drink water, and load in early. Good to go, soundchecked my gear, and had 30mins+ until full soundcheck. So I went and ate a delicious healthy (and light!) meal and drink a Viso (local vitamin drink with caffiene). Yum!

About 10 mins to showtime, I'm talking to our drummer's gal, and it hits me.... "I think I have to puke" I tell her. "Go do it" she replies. And I do. Feeling "better". For the moment, anyway.

Show starts, and we rock a solid 30 mins of EMULATOR material. The ED show starts, and.... I creep offstage to vomit again. This happens all night long, inbetween EMULATOR song breaks. Lucky for me, "ED" prints out a "show-map" so I know when I NEED to be onstage for music. I am not only puking, but TOTALLY exhausted. But failure is not an option. Also, the nausea is taking my mind off of my lost cat (later, I found out that he went in a little hole in the attic, and was sleeping in a pile of old insulation in the floorboards!) which I attempted to "zen" out of my mind. If my mind wanders during an EMULATOR performance, I make mistakes that I normally wouldn't and should never make.

Right before we do our epic Contra medley (Intro song>Stage 1>Stage 2>Waterfall Stage>end credits music) I almost told them to switch for Tetris, so I could go offstage (they can do Tetris w/out me, but I have all lead lines in Contra) but it was right then that we started. I choke it down, and rock hard. After Contra, I go puke again and let them finish the last song as I pull my car around to the "no parking, taxi zone only" spot in downtown portland. There, I wait for them to finish (another 30 excruciating mins!) while I feel like death (not in the cool, metal way ) and my wonderful fiance and her sister come to my rescue!! They helped me load my gear in 1 trip, and though my fiance can't drive a stick (manual trans) she was still my co-pilot and I felt much safer than driving by myself in that condition. I had a work meeting the next morning, and no option to leave car (plus...I had GEAR!! It get's stolen instantly if left in a car downtown) so I had to try and muscle through and get home.

Show actually went GREAT, and those who knew what I was going through...had a laugh about it! Those who didn't, said it looked like I was having a great time! I tried to look that way, on purpose. No one wants to see a frowny-face house band at a comedy show!


That was my gig-nightmare from Saturday. But in reality, it went well. I just felt awful.

Anyone else care to share, their own "gig-nightmare"?

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