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GMC Forum _ CHILL OUT _ Hell Explained (laugh Like Crazy, Lol...)

Posted by: antonskv Apr 14 2010, 07:23 PM

(This is written for comical purposes, this content has not intention to offend anyone's religious sensibilities)

HELL EXPLAINED
(BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT)

The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely.. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct, leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept passionately screaming: "Oh my God!"

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

Posted by: Andrew6 Apr 14 2010, 07:31 PM

This one of the greatest scientific works of our age

Posted by: ruben_mcn Apr 14 2010, 07:41 PM

Aha Really awsome ..

Posted by: Sollesnes Apr 14 2010, 07:41 PM

Hahahaha

Posted by: Zsolt Galambos Apr 14 2010, 07:44 PM

Man this is hilarious:D

I laughed myself to death after knowing that my soul will surley go to Heaven... :D:D

This guy really deserved an A+ :DDD

Posted by: audiopaal Apr 14 2010, 07:46 PM

He is a true genius!
That student for World President!!!!!

That is actually the best reading I've done in quite a while, THANK YOU FOR SHARING!!!

Posted by: DeepRoots Apr 14 2010, 07:51 PM

Hilarious

Posted by: Mr T Apr 14 2010, 07:52 PM

hahaha

Posted by: Kristian Hyvarinen Apr 14 2010, 08:02 PM

Oh man, I think I saw this the first time about 6 years ago. It's still as funny as "Hell".

Posted by: Fran Apr 14 2010, 08:05 PM

Hehehe, I'd read it before, it's great

Posted by: Artemus Apr 14 2010, 08:17 PM

Definitely a contender for an ignobel award.

Posted by: kaznie_NL Apr 14 2010, 08:22 PM

>< I love it when people take time to write something like that Thanks for sharing

Posted by: Bogdan Radovic Apr 14 2010, 08:30 PM

Briliant! I always wondered how people feel when writing this kind of stuff. Are they laughing their way as they go through it

Posted by: Santiago Diaz Garces Apr 15 2010, 06:43 AM

He deserves to take the diploma only for that answer. Hahaha!

Posted by: Vasilije Vukmirovic Apr 15 2010, 12:14 PM

This is what I call serious academic research!

Posted by: The Uncreator Apr 15 2010, 04:35 PM

Absolutely beautiful work! One of the best I have read in a long while!

Posted by: Crazy_Diamond Apr 15 2010, 04:46 PM

That was really funny... I don't know if I would take the chance to write something like that in my exams.... Well it depends on the question of course..

Posted by: antonskv Apr 16 2010, 09:02 AM

Hah,

Well i'm glad you guys liked it. All i was hoping for is to give some people little laugh in their life.
I know i laughed like a bastard when i read it

Cool beans guys,

Anton

Posted by: Darktime Apr 16 2010, 09:58 AM

Great!

Posted by: Ivan Milenkovic Apr 19 2010, 12:19 PM

Awesome! Same stuff can be applied to our Universe, and the guy is correct! A+ for him definitely

Posted by: Gitarrero Apr 19 2010, 02:17 PM

Thanks to Teresa we'll all be going to heaven! God, I can't stop laughing!

Posted by: Adrian Figallo Apr 19 2010, 02:41 PM

now that's a smart guy

Posted by: Skewlbuzz Apr 20 2010, 07:43 AM

Ah yeah this one is so great!

It's been circulating the internet in different variations for some years, but afaik it wasn't really written by a student for a test...

Still I love these kinda things