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Betrayed, My family is falling apart...any advice
Duncan
Feb 29 2008, 02:19 AM
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From: Whistler, Canada
QUOTE (Guitarman700 @ Feb 28 2008, 08:40 PM) *
not that kind. i REALLY hate these kinds of people. they dont give a flying F#$% about anyone but themselves. if this was the first time, id say give her a second chance. but since its not, hang her out to dry. dry.gif


Are you saying you hate me?

By all means don't get back with her if she's been unfaithful.

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Trond Vold
Feb 29 2008, 02:36 AM
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Sorry to hear that sad.gif

Never been in a situation directly like that, but i've experienced 2nd hand what can happen when a parent introduces kids to bad elements.

I hope things will work out for you and the kids.

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Guitarman700
Feb 29 2008, 02:44 AM
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QUOTE (Duncan @ Feb 28 2008, 08:19 PM) *
Are you saying you hate me?

By all means don't get back with her if she's been unfaithful.

not you, people like his wife.

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Smikey2006
Feb 29 2008, 02:51 AM
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so sorry to hear sad.gif i can't really offer any advice other than stay strong and keep the kids in mind.. they are whats most important

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Eat-Sleep-andJam
Feb 29 2008, 03:57 AM
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Im so sorry man I really am. Nothing I can say or do can make you feel any better but Ill give it my best shot. This may sound totally wrong but in a sense this is a good thing. You have saved your kids from growing up in what could have turned into a unhealthy environment and you arent being betrayed anymore. Now comes the hard part. You may have lost one part of your family but from the looks of it it was a part that you didnt need at all. You still have your amazing children and thats what really matters. All you can do is be a father and be there for your kids. Keep us updated ~later man

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FretDancer69
Feb 29 2008, 05:15 AM
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QUOTE (Eat-Sleep-andJam @ Feb 28 2008, 08:57 PM) *
Im so sorry man I really am. Nothing I can say or do can make you feel any better but Ill give it my best shot. This may sound totally wrong but in a sense this is a good thing. You have saved your kids from growing up in what could have turned into a unhealthy environment and you arent being betrayed anymore. Now comes the hard part. You may have lost one part of your family but from the looks of it it was a part that you didnt need at all. You still have your amazing children and thats what really matters. All you can do is be a father and be there for your kids. Keep us updated ~later man


I think ESJ makes a good point, even if its tough to accept, i do agree with ESJ.

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Outlaw2112
Feb 29 2008, 05:41 AM
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I went through the same thing... my wife was cheating on me and i have a 6 year old son... he was 3 at the time of all that... Its a very rough time your about to go through, very emotional and heart breaking... But youll be stronger in the end.... All I can say is dont drink or do any drugs to get through this, its better to tackle your feelings and problems with a straight mind.. I quit drinking when i was going through that time in my life, i figured that i could go down two roads, one road would probably turn me into an alcoholic and the other one i could improve myself and tackle my problems head on with a straight mind... If you'd like to talk send me your email through a PM, we could talk about things off the forums...

Keep your head up bro, and try not to get yourself down... I personally went to the gym like everyday and worked out to get into the best shape of my life and rub her face in it... Also going to the gym improves your self confidence...

Good Luck

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ace_frehely
Feb 29 2008, 06:09 AM
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I'm really sorry for you...but you have to keep moving forward..i bet you never expected this to happen...God diddnt create you to be frustraded...He has something better in store for you..you have to move forward and get better of the things ur good or bad at..and care about your kids..thats all I have to say.

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ActiveX
Feb 29 2008, 07:26 AM
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From: Vancouver, Canada
Wow, thanks for all the support guys, it really does mean a lot to me.
I joined this site a few months ago when things started to go bad. My wife
was never around, and I was home alone with the kids every night. I needed something to
take my mind off of things, so I picked up my guitar for the first time in 15 years,
and it has helped me get through what has been a very difficult time in my life.

As for my wife, she is not a completely bad person;
She had a horrible upbringing with abusive and alcoholic parents, who are still constantly causing problems.
She wants to be a good person, but she has demons that she needs to work out before I would
consider taking her back. I want our kids to have their mother around, they love her and I
know that she loves them. When her mind is clear, she is a great mother. But for the last couple
of years she has been slowly going down the wrong path. I've not given up on her or on us completely,
but it will be a long journey to get things right.

Thanks again, you guys are awesome! smile.gif

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swingline
Feb 29 2008, 07:40 AM
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From: Hemet, California
QUOTE (ActiveX @ Feb 28 2008, 10:26 PM) *
Wow, thanks for all the support guys, it really does mean a lot to me.
I joined this site a few months ago when things started to go bad. My wife
was never around, and I was home alone with the kids every night. I needed something to
take my mind off of things, so I picked up my guitar for the first time in 15 years,
and it has helped me get through what has been a very difficult time in my life.

As for my wife, she is not a completely bad person;
She had a horrible upbringing with abusive and alcoholic parents, who are still constantly causing problems.
She wants to be a good person, but she has demons that she needs to work out before I would
consider taking her back. I want our kids to have their mother around, they love her and I
know that she loves them. When her mind is clear, she is a great mother. But for the last couple
of years she has been slowly going down the wrong path. I've not given up on her or on us completely,
but it will be a long journey to get things right.

Thanks again, you guys are awesome! smile.gif

Good to hear your so forgiving, everyone deserves a second chance. Hopefully things get on the right track. Good Luck!

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FretDancer69
Mar 2 2008, 03:12 AM
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Posts: 2.442
Joined: 11-June 07
From: Honduras
QUOTE (ActiveX @ Feb 29 2008, 12:26 AM) *
Wow, thanks for all the support guys, it really does mean a lot to me.
I joined this site a few months ago when things started to go bad. My wife
was never around, and I was home alone with the kids every night. I needed something to
take my mind off of things, so I picked up my guitar for the first time in 15 years,
and it has helped me get through what has been a very difficult time in my life.

As for my wife, she is not a completely bad person;
She had a horrible upbringing with abusive and alcoholic parents, who are still constantly causing problems.
She wants to be a good person, but she has demons that she needs to work out before I would
consider taking her back. I want our kids to have their mother around, they love her and I
know that she loves them. When her mind is clear, she is a great mother. But for the last couple
of years she has been slowly going down the wrong path. I've not given up on her or on us completely,
but it will be a long journey to get things right.

Thanks again, you guys are awesome! smile.gif


your kids are very lucky to have you as a parent. You are indeed a very forgiving person. I hope everything turns out good for everyone

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Jamesito
Mar 2 2008, 04:32 PM
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Posts: 101
Joined: 1-February 08
From: Guayaquil, Ecuador
I think it´s a difficult situation for both of you as there are children involved aswell that always compliates everything. I think you should think hard about everything, would you be able to forgive her? and would she really try to turn her life around? both are very difficult questions... It´s easy to hate and very difficult to forgive sometimes... but it´s important that you make the right choise... some people forgive and then later they hate themselves for it....

I wish you the very best of luck my friend and know that GMC is here for you!!

Jamesito biggrin.gif

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MickeM
Mar 3 2008, 01:10 AM
Born of NWOBHM, Moderation Team Leader
Posts: 8.562
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From: Stockholm, Sweden
Sorry to hear mate! It's difficult, if you say impossible to give advice about this. But you caring about your kids first sounds like the best thing to do.
Her bad upbringing, as you put it, may cause her problems such as you're a kind husband while she's used to an alcoholic father. Big collision there if she can't feel "sequre" as it is.
If you're concidering forgiving here I hope you can pin point the problem, solve it and restart. Kids need both a mom and a dad and they love you both. I hope for their sake there will not be a war for custody. You've showed to be loving and caring about your kids while your wife been not thinking of consequences at all. When couples have kids, it's for real.
I'm glad to see you're responsible about them. I wish you all the best sorting this out.

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ActiveX
Mar 3 2008, 04:33 AM
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Posts: 241
Joined: 7-October 07
From: Vancouver, Canada
QUOTE (MickeM @ Mar 2 2008, 04:10 PM) *
If you're concidering forgiving here I hope you can pin point the problem, solve it and restart. Kids need both a mom and a dad and they love you both. I hope for their sake there will not be a war for custody. You've showed to be loving and caring about your kids while your wife been not thinking of consequences at all. When couples have kids, it's for real.
I'm glad to see you're responsible about them. I wish you all the best sorting this out.


I have forgiven her, but we will be going our separate ways. We've been
talking the last couple of days, where we discussed some of my concerns,
and we both want to remain on good terms for the kids sake. She really does
need some time on her own to work out some personal problems, and I need to
get on with my life. This may be a blessing in disguise, and who knows what the future holds.
The important thing is that my children will still have both of us in their lives; and we can still have
family days without the both of us ripping each other apart. It still hurts, but I'm
gonna be alright. cool.gif

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This post has been edited by ActiveX: Mar 3 2008, 09:28 AM
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FretDancer69
Mar 3 2008, 05:32 AM
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Posts: 2.442
Joined: 11-June 07
From: Honduras
QUOTE (ActiveX @ Mar 2 2008, 09:33 PM) *
I have forgiven her, but we will be going our separate ways. We've been
talking the last couple of days, where we discussed some of my concerns,
and we both want to remain on good terms for the kids sake. She really does
need some time on her own to work out some personal problems. This may be a
blessing in disguise, and who knows what the future holds. The important thing
is that my children will still have both of us in their lives; and we can still have
family days without the both of us ripping each other apart. It still hurts, but I'm
gonna be alright. cool.gif



Its good to hear man smile.gif

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MickeM
Mar 3 2008, 09:12 AM
Born of NWOBHM, Moderation Team Leader
Posts: 8.562
Joined: 9-January 07
From: Stockholm, Sweden
QUOTE (ActiveX @ Mar 3 2008, 04:33 AM) *
I have forgiven her, but we will be going our separate ways. We've been
talking the last couple of days, where we discussed some of my concerns,
and we both want to remain on good terms for the kids sake. She really does
need some time on her own to work out some personal problems. This may be a
blessing in disguise, and who knows what the future holds. The important thing
is that my children will still have both of us in their lives; and we can still have
family days without the both of us ripping each other apart. It still hurts, but I'm
gonna be alright. cool.gif

Glad to hear that you're doing alright. Just drop a few lines now and then when you need a bunch of friends to support you. smile.gif

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