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Joke Thread?, Clean ones only (GP13 max)
DeepRoots
Dec 3 2007, 01:24 PM
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Okay so i just sat through reading that gigantic joke, expecting it to be fantastic. unsure.gif
ohmy.gif
Oh dear... tongue.gif

Maybe its my British sense of humour that requires a cerain kind of joke- but i'm gonna hit ebay now to find a replacement 30 minutes for the time i just spent. dry.gif laugh.gif

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This post has been edited by DeepRoots: Dec 3 2007, 01:27 PM
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mattacuk
Dec 3 2007, 01:26 PM
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laugh.gif laugh.gif deeproots just made me laugh out loud and it wasnt a joke!! biggrin.gif

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mysql> SELECT * FROM master_name WHERE ((firstname = 'Paul') AND (lastname = 'Gilbert'));


"The Fundimental Difference between Paul Gilbert and Buckethead is that Paul Explores the Good side of the force, while Buckethead Explores the Dark Side of the Force" :)
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DeepRoots
Dec 3 2007, 01:26 PM
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Okay- so now i'm laughing because i google "desert snake man joke nate" and found in my results:

"longest joke in the world"

Now that was worth it!! biggrin.gif

- i now feel like i've accomplished something wink.gif

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Smikey2006
Dec 3 2007, 01:44 PM
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QUOTE (Ayen @ Nov 28 2007, 02:06 PM) *
So a seal walks into a club.
One of my favorites biggrin.gif

heh seal clubbing.. horrible .. yet funnyy biggrin.gif

I read the long 1. It was a good story.. funny ending but i kinda wanted a lifes lession after reading all of that.. better nate than lever biggrin.gif what a horrible way to die hahah

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VinceG
Dec 3 2007, 04:08 PM
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It was a horrible ending but I could not find a better ending than what it really is. Better Nate than lever then nate died. The end. Horrible but it really makes you smile. Imagine telling that whole thing to someone.

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Chris Evans
Dec 3 2007, 04:24 PM
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Just been told this so thought I`d post it before it left the grey matter biggrin.gif

A french fry walks into the bar and says to the bartender "Hey , could I get a beer please"

The bartender looks at him shacking his head and say "No, we don't serve food here"

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DeepRoots
Dec 3 2007, 04:31 PM
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QUOTE (Smells @ Dec 3 2007, 03:24 PM) *
"No, we don't serve food here"


laugh.gif

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mattacuk
Dec 3 2007, 07:51 PM
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Oh my my my laugh.gif unsure.gif

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mysql> SELECT * FROM master_name WHERE ((firstname = 'Paul') AND (lastname = 'Gilbert'));


"The Fundimental Difference between Paul Gilbert and Buckethead is that Paul Explores the Good side of the force, while Buckethead Explores the Dark Side of the Force" :)
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Pavel
Dec 3 2007, 11:22 PM
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Have some laugh laugh.gif laugh.gif


Attached Image

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Andrew Cockburn
Dec 3 2007, 11:41 PM
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I had to read it - I'm a freeakin' moderator - at least you guys had the choice to ignore it huh.gif

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DeepRoots
Dec 3 2007, 11:49 PM
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QUOTE (Andrew Cockburn @ Dec 3 2007, 10:41 PM) *
I had to read it - I'm a freeakin' moderator - at least you guys had the choice to ignore it huh.gif


Unfortunatley i make bad choices in life.... laugh.gif

However, I have bragged to several friends that i had the cojones to read the longest joke ever.

Suffice to say nobody congratulated me...

The new US stealth jet fighter



Now where did i park that thing?

+ I'm sure you have to be extra careful when climbing in - i hear that a joystick vanishing up that region can be fatal blink.gif

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Saoirse O'Shea
Dec 4 2007, 12:19 AM
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QUOTE (Andrew Cockburn @ Dec 3 2007, 11:41 PM) *
I had to read it - I'm a freeakin' moderator - at least you guys had the choice to ignore it huh.gif


laugh.gif I had to re-read it several times Andrew as I kept on falling asleep or kept on getting distracted wink.gif . 'Oh the life of a mod is not a happy one' sung to the sound of whichever Gilbert and Sullivan Opera libretto it was unsure.gif .

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Dejan Farkas
Dec 4 2007, 12:23 AM
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Here's one joke I heard from an American biggrin.gif

On a hot summer day a fly was sitting on a branch of a bush above a lake and thinking:

"I feel so hot, if I move 2 inches down I'll ne closer to water and it would cool me down"

Below the fly, there was a fish in the water and thinking:

"If the fly goes 2 inches down I would be able to jump and catch it"

Besides the bush there was a bear and thinking:

"If the fly goes 2 inches down, the fish would jump for the fly and I would be able to catch the fish"

On the other side of the lake there was a hunter eating cheese sandwich and thinking:

"If the fly goes 2 inches down, the fish would jump for the fly, the bear would go for the fish and I would be able to shoot the bear"

From a hole near the hunter there was a rat and thinking:

"If the fly goes 2 inches down, the fish would jump for the fly, the bear would go for the fish, the hunter would drop the sandwich and shoot the bear and I would be able to take the cheese"

Nearby there was a cat and thinking:

"If the fly goes 2 inches down, the fish would jump for the fly, the bear would go for the fish, the hunter would shoot the bear and drop the cheese sandwich, the rat would go for the cheese and I would be able to catch the rat"

Then, the fly went 2 inches down, the fish jumped for the fly, the bear grabbed the fish, the hunter dropped the sandwich and shot the bear, the rat went for the cheese, the cat jumped for the rat, but missed and fell into the water and drowned..

So, whenever the fly goes down, one pussy is in the trouble smile.gif

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VinceG
Dec 4 2007, 12:26 AM
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QUOTE (Andrew Cockburn @ Dec 4 2007, 03:41 AM) *
I had to read it - I'm a freeakin' moderator - at least you guys had the choice to ignore it huh.gif



Wheres my thanks for enlightening you guys with the longest joke ever.

Did you guys like it Tony and Andrew?

Dejan, that joke is hilarious!!!!

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Saoirse O'Shea
Dec 4 2007, 12:48 AM
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I did Vince - it appealed to my sense of humour mate smile.gif .

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Andrew Cockburn
Dec 4 2007, 12:58 AM
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It was the lamest punch line ever ... but I actually was really absorbed in the story itself laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif

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VinceG
Dec 4 2007, 01:32 AM
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QUOTE (Andrew Cockburn @ Dec 4 2007, 04:58 AM) *
It was the lamest punch line ever ... but I actually was really absorbed in the story itself laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif


Yea, I felt that too. I love the conflict and drama in it. The ending however ruined the story so much its hilarious.

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g-forcelover
Dec 4 2007, 01:46 AM
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hmmmm. don't know how to delete this post

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VinceG
Dec 4 2007, 02:44 AM
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A bear walks into a bar, sits down on a stool and orders a drink. "I'll have a rum....















and coke" he said. The bartender replied "Why the big pause?"

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Andrew Cockburn
Dec 4 2007, 02:48 AM
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QUOTE (VinceG @ Dec 3 2007, 08:44 PM) *
A bear walks into a bar, sits down on a stool and orders a drink. "I'll have a rum....
and coke" he said. The bartender replied "Why the big pause?"


Mercifully shorter than the last one, adn about as funny laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif

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