QUOTE (Eat-Sleep-andJam @ Jan 7 2009, 08:11 PM)
c4c
________________________________________________________________________________
__________________
Dedicated to You: This is my final song for you. You couldnt make up your mind between me and him, so I made up your mind for you, I said goodbye to an "Angel". And I did love you.
________________________________________________________________________________
__________________
Excuse me if I've been unclear.
If been searching for awhile,
But your still not here.
And she went,
To a place shes never been.
With a little wooden sign,
That read the "Town of Bethlehem"
Like Rated htr said, The reference to bethlehem is a bit abstract, and comes out of the blue and doesnt ring a bell with the listener yet, So I like it. It catches you off guard and doesn't promise to explain why, I like that.
Chorus: Where did my angel go?
Heaven was right next door,
But I just didnt know.
Where did my angel go?
Although short, The chorus actually makes sense to me. It seems as if the reference to where the angel went, and heaven being right next door, Is alot like "Where did she go, She was just right here with me, what happened?" kind of feeling, Which if im not mistaken, I think is the point you are trying to get across, And point taken if so.
I let her fly away,
Because she,
Just doesnt belong with me.
She just doesnt belong with me.
And he,
Followed her into that lonely town.
Walkling on his toes,
So he didnt make sound.
And he stopped,
And watched her burn down that little town.
With a little wooden sign,
Laying on the ground.
A dark and ambiguous few verses, The only suggestion here was changing "Laying on the ground" at the end to fit the burning metaphor, First thing I thought of as I read was, "Razed to the ground". It has a stronger gravity to it that makes it feel more urgent and dire.
PS
I use "Ambiguous" in a good way
Chorus: Where did my angel go?
Heaven was right next door,
But I just didnt know.
Where did my angel go?
Heaven's just a dream,
One I wasnt meant to have,
One I dont deserve to have.
And there,
Was only ash on the ground.
Burnt memories,
Of an angel that isnt found.
I left my angel,
For the greater good.
And I promised myself I wouldnt go back.
Even If I could.
Chorus:
Where is my angel?
Is it my fault ,
For doing what was right.
For leaving her tonight ?
I dont deserve to angels.
I guess I dont deserve to have angels.
Good ending to a very personal story, Although the last chorus doesn't seem to fit with the syllable pattern of the previous ones, Unless it is sung slightly different? Im not sure, And maybe thats a good thing, you make me think then. Either way I like this one, Good effort and good job, Your getting better everytime
© John Minoia 2008
You are at GuitarMasterClass.net
Don't miss today's
free lick. Plus all our lessons are packed with
free content!
. I must say, your compositions are marked with some simplicity but the feeling is all here. Didn't really like the connection between the 2nd and 3rd verse. You didn't know what? that heaven was right next door?...That's the idea I got from reading it, although I know you meant other things.
, because everyone does 
