Mental Unsoundness |
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Apr 26 2009, 11:02 PM
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QUOTE (showyourfist @ Apr 26 2009, 10:41 PM)  Mental unsoundness There is a mind that's always pleading Suffering thoughts of inhumane punishment Nightmares rendering logic useless A maniac meltdown of intellectual evil. "inhuman" typo there my friend  . Welcome to the lyrics board btw. I like the way how you add adjectives to almost everything. I get the idea in the third verse but I don't feel it stands good...I think it still would be better to have useless logic, which goes in a different way, but it fits better IMO. The nerves begin to rip and tear A shadow of doubt takes control Nucleas diseased, a puppet to mania Mental unsoundess, strange behaviour. Again, the terrorific atmosphere astounds me but the third verse seems different. A puppet to mania seems something out of the context to the reader's eyes in my opinion. Creep around the corners of night Words forced out that don't seem right Memories forgotten, treasures buried pressure's building, past awakening. Love this one! well done The nerves begin to rip and tear A shadow of doubt takes control Nucleas diseased, a puppet to mania Mental unsoundess, strange behaviour. And as I lay here in my head Trapped inside my brain that's dead I think of all who have survived The selfish mind that is deprived Of all the feelings good to them Of all the temptations bad and cruel Never knowing of who is hexed The human mind is always next. the first two verses seemed forced to rhyme (heard that before with the same words ). The next two however, worked wonderfully. In conclusion, this is the first time I was actually paying attention to the structure itself rather than saying what I feel about reading the words. It sounds like it's a deep analisation of the human mind acording to a painful situation.C&C man? https://www.guitarmasterclass.net/guitar_fo...showtopic=26869 -------------------- Currently Practicing
Rhythm: Finnish Power Metal III: Nightwish Legato: Ben's Land Of Legato Alternate Picking: Alternate Picking Workout #5 Chords: Chord Melody Technique  |
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still it was warming of you!
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