Experienced Rock Star Posts: 2.119
Joined: 15-October 07
From: Leiria, Portugal
Hi guys, here's a little different writing from me, a sonet for the girl I like
Have you ever heard? The wonders of the world When in your eyes the value passes by Only leaving room for words In a world far away Distant lands we walk Appart from our hands Writing tales of the days Wonders of dreams by (Wanting more, wishing you)
Chorus The fallen can't recognize spells Ignorance or yells Faith appears to be born again But uthopies might remain The fallen can sense the bliss A dream of a kiss But there's a wall That breaks the enchanted dream
I felt I could tell The fear, in my mind Reason lost its shell I no longer want to hide It ended badly But I still dream No one would expect This posture from me The one who was from...
Chorus
In my heart, a beat rises again How many years have passed From storms, prisons, torture racks And misfigured sights Take my hand and follow me cause... I won't end alone on the path I walk
GMC:er Posts: 2.412
Joined: 23-February 07
From: New york
QUOTE (Rated Htr @ Mar 4 2009, 12:01 PM)
Hi guys, here's a little different writing from me, a sonet for the girl I like this is a genre I know to well Have you ever heard? The wonders of the world When in your eyes the value passes by Only leaving room for words In a world far away Distant lands we walk Appart from our hands Writing tales of the days Wonders of dreams by (Wanting more, wishing you) Even by reading this, I already know she means alot more to you then your letting on. Chorus The fallen can't recognize spells Ignorance or yells Faith appears to be born again But uthopies might remain The fallen can sense the bliss A dream of a kiss But there's a wall That breaks the enchanted dream I love when you write lines like this^, some rhyming that you add in very well. I felt I could tell The fear, in my mind Reason lost its shell I no longer want to hide It ended badly But I still dream No one would expect This posture from me The one who was from... Hmm. I dont know. This makes me think you were once with her, but it ended badly. But everytime when you see her, you cant help but think you want to be with her.
Chorus
In my heart, a beat rises again How many years have passed From storms, prisons, torture racks And misfigured sights Take my hand and follow me cause... I won't end alone in the path I walk Maybe now shes come back?----------I dont know. I love stuff like this, its usually how I write because its from the heart. I wish the best for you and Marina. COPYRIGHTS: FILIPE ROCHA @2009
Experienced Rock Star Posts: 2.119
Joined: 15-October 07
From: Leiria, Portugal
my mistake
@Eat No, I was never with her, I declared myself to her, she didn't say yes or no, but not being yes doesn't suit me So I consider that declaration was bad
BTW, forgot to mention before, on the last part, no I'm not with her (Yet! ), I meant I've surpassed my past
@Marek Walls are obstacles, there are there to break exactly, when you're depressed, they seem unbreakable, but that's what I mean, for my dream to happen, there's only a wall
I know You won't end alone on the path! The only thing that haven't "fit" my taste was this part:
On the other side it gives some more twist to the text.
So I consider that declaration was bad 
