A man gets up one morning to find his wife in the kitchen
cooking, he looks to see what she's cooking, and sees one
of his socks in frying pan.
"What are you doing?" he asks.
"I'm doing what you asked me to do last night when you came
to bed very drunk," she replied.
Completely puzzled, the man walks away thinking to himself,
"I don't remember asking her to cook my sock..."
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Why did the cute little koala fall out of the tree?
Because a hunter shot it.
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A married man once asked his wife what she would like to have as an anniversary present.
"I'd like something shiny that goes from zero to 200 in less than 6 seconds!" she says.
The man bought her a bathroom scale. His funeral is this Saturday at 2.
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WHY YOU NEVER QUESTION A DRUNK
I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:
A half-gallon of 2% milk,
A carton of eggs,
A quart of orange juice,
A head of romaine lettuce,
A 2 lb. can of coffee, and
A 1 lb. package of bacon
As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk
Standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the
cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated,
"You must be single." I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I
was
intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I was indeed single.
I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly
unusual
about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital
status. Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: "Well, you know
what,
you're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."
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Did you here that UPS is being bought out by FED EX making a merge together? Their new name is going to be FEDUP
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luke skywalker and obi wann are eating out at a chinese restuarant. luke starts throwing a fit and complaining about how hard it is to eat the food.
obi scratches is mustache and goes "luke.... use the forks!"
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This post has been edited by Outlaw2112: Apr 19 2008, 03:29 AM
