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GMC Forum _ CHILL OUT _ Solving Band Problems
Posted by: Cosmin Lupu Aug 18 2011, 08:22 AM
How do you cope with people acting strange in your band? Have you ever encountered such troubles?
For instance, I almost always ended up playing alongside friends and when one of them had a problem, I usually told them directly what that was all about, but let's say not all your bandmates are your friends.
Here's the question: do you try and solve the problems by offering people a few more chances or you foresee a pattern in their behavior and spare yourself the future trouble by telling them it's time to go?
Posted by: Chris Evans Aug 18 2011, 10:02 AM
If its a playing issue then you can generally tell if things are going to improve or not and make your decision from there, its one of the worst things to deal with, not so bad when they are not really "friends" so to speak, in that instance its still difficult but you dont ever have to see them again, quite often they are oblivious to there own problems then it comes as a complete suprise to them when you tell them its time to go, I generally still chicken out of that bit if I can or do it cowardly and facelessly via email or text ... I know I know 
A while a go though we had to do it to a very good friend, nothing wrong with his playing or anything like that, he just couldnt commit to the band as much as he wanted to and as much as we wanted him to, that was a tough and horrible (face to face this time) conversation but fortunatley he`s not daft and actually quit the band himself and we of course have still remained good friends 
Posted by: MickeM Aug 18 2011, 10:24 AM
The strangest thing was quite a few years ago, over a period of time we had a guy that came down to our rehearsals and used to sit in our sofa just to listen and watch.
He almost knew one guy in the band since before and for some reason decided to show up.
Noone had invited him but we all thought the “almost” friend told him to show up all the time, which he never did, so no one showed him the door either.
After a period of time (several weeks) when he felt comfortable stalking us he started to suggest songs to play and how we should sound. That’s when we started to see him as a problem opposed to just being the weirdo in the sofa and we started to discuss amongst each other who is that guy?
Then one day he was gone. The guy in our band that almost knew him told us the wierdo had approached his gf to declare his deep love to her.
He never showed up again after that.
Posted by: Chris Evans Aug 18 2011, 10:28 AM
He almost knew one guy in the band since before and for some reason decided to show up.
Noone had invited him but we all thought the "almost" friend told him to show up all the time, which he never did, so no one showed him the door either.
After a period of time (several weeks) when he felt comfortable stalking us he started to suggest songs to play and how we should sound. That's when we started to see him as a problem opposed to just being the weirdo in the sofa and we started to discuss amongst each other who is that guy?
Then one day he was gone. The guy in our band that almost knew him told us the wierdo had approached his gf to declare his deep love to her.
He never showed up again after that.
thats a really bizarre story!
Posted by: Ben Higgins Aug 18 2011, 10:35 AM
It's a mixture of both. I usually talk to them to try and iron out any issues like commitment etc.. but if things don't change then I show them the door.
Sometimes it doesn't even get to that because I assess their characters as early as I can at auditions. No matter how good they are, If I can't see myself working with them, or on tour with them then I don't waste my time having them in the band. It's not easy to be that desicive because people on the outside just think you're being too picky and weird.. but they're not the ones who have to make these difficult desicions in the first place, and they also won't have to turn around to the guy a few onths down the line and fire him !
Posted by: Chris Evans Aug 18 2011, 10:56 AM
thats the hardest part, when others dont see the same angle as you do and your the one that comes off as "the difficult one"
fortunatley not really been in that scenario completly, although I did once refuse to go to a rehearsal (I forgot about this
) because I couldnt stand to play with a particular drummer that we`d auditioned a couple of times prior and the others were prepared to just put up with him for the sake of a loud practice, I guess that made me look the ass but I couldnt bring myself to play with someone that sounded like they threw their drumkit down the stairs everytime they played! I couldnt see the point, so I didnt go
Posted by: Cosmin Lupu Aug 18 2011, 11:56 AM
In my opinion, it's a big thing if someone realizes the threat he actually is to the well functioning of a band and decides to step away for the good of the group. That's the kind of guy/ girl that you should actually want to keep around 
now, the thing is that actually prefer talking things over when I had to kick someone out. I never liked the idea that someone might leave with a bitter taste from my side.
A while a go though we had to do it to a very good friend, nothing wrong with his playing or anything like that, he just couldnt commit to the band as much as he wanted to and as much as we wanted him to, that was a tough and horrible (face to face this time) conversation but fortunatley he`s not daft and actually quit the band himself and we of course have still remained good friends
Oh my....well, in my opinion a rehearsal room is a very intimate place. I don't agree with all sorts of people coming over, unless of course there is a good reason for them being there. What I mean by intimate, is that you usually go to the toilet all by yourself, this is how I feel about rehearsing - the band is the only entity that has to be in the rehearsal room and that's it. Maybe I exaggerated a bit with the comparison but, that's how I feel
He almost knew one guy in the band since before and for some reason decided to show up.
Noone had invited him but we all thought the “almost” friend told him to show up all the time, which he never did, so no one showed him the door either.
After a period of time (several weeks) when he felt comfortable stalking us he started to suggest songs to play and how we should sound. That’s when we started to see him as a problem opposed to just being the weirdo in the sofa and we started to discuss amongst each other who is that guy?
Then one day he was gone. The guy in our band that almost knew him told us the wierdo had approached his gf to declare his deep love to her.
He never showed up again after that.
I totally agree mate! people on the outside usually don't understand what a band really is...For instance, in my country, a lot of people regard musicians as individuals who can't find a decent job
and therefore they think that having a band is just another way of wasting time. So, judging by these premises, you can actually figure out a dozen theories on what kind of mentality was developed about building a band and making it work perfectly.. Sometimes it doesn't even get to that because I assess their characters as early as I can at auditions. No matter how good they are, If I can't see myself working with them, or on tour with them then I don't waste my time having them in the band. It's not easy to be that desicive because people on the outside just think you're being too picky and weird.. but they're not the ones who have to make these difficult desicions in the first place, and they also won't have to turn around to the guy a few onths down the line and fire him !
Posted by: superize Aug 18 2011, 12:09 PM
I cant say because i have never had any problems with my band members
Posted by: Cosmin Lupu Aug 18 2011, 12:18 PM
I honestly hope you won't have to deal with that sort of stuff ever, but we can never foretell what life has prepared for us
Posted by: Adrian Figallo Aug 18 2011, 04:06 PM
im lucky too, we don't have many problems in the band
Posted by: Gabriel Leopardi Aug 18 2011, 04:41 PM
Every situation and relationship is different but every time that we have a problem in our band we talk and discuss about it. If the problem is really important we organize a reunion to talk about it and to find a solution. Everything is always with respect and thinking on the best for the band.
Posted by: Cosmin Lupu Aug 18 2011, 05:18 PM
This is the ideal way and the professional one as well I remember a lot of quarrels who ended up nasty when I was 18-19 years old with people in the band who didn't understand why they had to leave. The worst thing is when a certain person can't see what he/she is really doing and the way it affects the whole group he/she is being part of.
Posted by: Daniel Realpe Aug 19 2011, 12:23 PM
This is a tough one. I've been in that position before.
Here's a story: Back in 2007 I was playing with my progressive metal band Hidden Path. Everything was normal and we were trying to write some new material. One day talking over messenger with the drummer, he started being really aggressive and offensive towards me because I couldn't help him with something, a recording or something like that, but he thought I was too "important" "conceited",
So I told him that it would be better to part ways, and I found a replacement for him.
One month later Mike Portnoy from Dream Theater decided that a local band should open for them in every country of Latin America, so my band was picked through myspace to open in Bogota, Colombia.
The old drummer came back to my place to ask me to rejoin the band but I told him that I already had a drummer and let me tell you, it was very dramatic, but I couldn't accept him because the new one was already committed.
So anyways, there's always some issues with band members imo. I think it's important to play with mates you know you are going to get along because you are gonna spend a lot of time with them. But first you should choose someone who can do the job properly and is not going to be taking too long to learn something.
Posted by: Ben Higgins Aug 19 2011, 12:31 PM
One month later Mike Portnoy from Dream Theater decided that a local band should open for them in every country of Latin America, so my band was picked through myspace to open in Bogota, Colombia.
The old drummer came back to my place to ask me to rejoin the band but I told him that I already had a drummer and let me tell you, it was very dramatic, but I couldn't accept him because the new one was already committed.
Yeah it's funny how people only want to be involved when there's a promise of somthing good.. being able to spot these people early on can be difficult but when things get hard with the band, you will see who is dedicated and who isn't very quickly
Posted by: Marek Rojewski Aug 19 2011, 12:37 PM
"It is amazing what You can accomplish with a simple baseball bat" 
Posted by: Cosmin Lupu Aug 19 2011, 02:04 PM
good one well, the guy who came back to ask about re-entering the band had no back bone at all in my opinion..
Posted by: Sinisa Cekic Aug 19 2011, 09:59 PM
Some time ago I wrote a post about the relationships in the band! What I do to avoid misunderstandings in the future is- evaluation of character! System "for the benefit of the band" at the end always cracks, with much bigger consequences !
It's better to prevent than treat
Posted by: Cosmin Lupu Aug 19 2011, 10:01 PM
Very true
It's better to prevent than treat
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