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GMC Forum _ CHILL OUT _ Its Sad To Say But...

Posted by: TreyDeschamp May 1 2009, 04:29 AM

I think I have lost all drive at playing guitar. It seems like whenever I try my hardest to learn or play something I sound terrible. It doesnt help to have an amazing guitarist as a father who constantly is pushing me to play guitar and it sort of stresses me out when I play. I dont know how to even play the music I like the most. I'm so ready to give this up but I know I cant because deep down I know I can play....."From zero to hero" I am the zero now where's the hero.... ohmy.gif

Posted by: Sami May 1 2009, 04:48 AM

QUOTE (TreyDeschamp @ May 1 2009, 04:29 AM) *
I think I have lost all drive at playing guitar. It seems like whenever I try my hardest to learn or play something I sound terrible. It doesnt help to have an amazing guitarist as a father who constantly is pushing me to play guitar and it sort of stresses me out when I play. I dont know how to even play the music I like the most. I'm so ready to give this up but I know I cant because deep down I know I can play....."From zero to hero" I am the zero now where's the hero.... ohmy.gif


Dont give up mate, ive been playing for about 2 years now and i feel the same. Maybe take a short break, but come back to it, it might give you this little pain, but in the end it gives the ultimate eternal pleasure. Dont let your dads skill stress out, absorb EVERY piece of insight he has, you will be so thankful in the end.

Keep at it man, i believe in you

Posted by: jdriver May 1 2009, 04:58 AM

Ah come on... you're no zero, you're a rising star. Maybe you could have a talk with your dad and come to a compromise about what to play, so that you can do more of what you really want.

Posted by: Sircraigery May 1 2009, 06:00 AM

Honestly dude, most people play their favorite riffs 1000s of times. That's why they sound good. I believe your probably just not relaxed enough when playing. Your anticipating the next note too much maybe and that's why you can't play fast? Do you notice that you can play a riff 10x faster if you write it yourself?

If so, don't sweat it. I'm like that too. Hell, so is Mark from Lamb of God (Willie is the fast one). There are two kinds of guitar players out there, if you don't got speed off the bat, you got soul. No one has both, and they all have to work on either one.

Posted by: MickeM May 1 2009, 09:21 AM

QUOTE (TreyDeschamp @ May 1 2009, 05:29 AM) *
It doesnt help to have an amazing guitarist as a father who constantly is pushing me to play guitar

First off, do you even want to play guitar or is it your father who wants you to?
If it's not an urge within yourself it can be difficult.

Second, you say you can't play the songs you like. That's never easy when you're a "zero" (like you said yourself)
Famous songs are always (or in 99% of the cases) performed by skilled musicians, it's really something that would be difficult for a zero to handle. You have to start from the bottom and work yourself up. Without knowing scales and technique nothing will sound good.

Maybe the best thing you could do it to join the mentor program when there's an opening?

Posted by: Frederik May 1 2009, 09:23 AM

cheer up dude and feel the music

-Frederik


Posted by: Keilnoth May 1 2009, 09:40 AM

Sometimes I feel quite the same. I think we cannot be 24/7, 365 days a year, 100% aware, and in the mood of listening or understanding music. Sometimes, we are tired, or a little bit depressed, or whatever.

So what I do is : scales, fingering, legato, etc... see some friends, drink beers, play on my computer. smile.gif


Posted by: Fran May 1 2009, 11:40 AM

Don't quit mate, you'll regret it down the road, you'll start again someday, and you'll blame yourself for wasting so many valuable years. I do.

Posted by: -Zion- May 1 2009, 12:10 PM

around 11 years ago i walked around having the same feelings about playing guitar as you do now.. difference is however, i did not have a killer rockstar father to push me..

I ended up quitting the guitar totally.. i did not touch the guitar for over 10 years.. funny thing though, i actually bought a new guitar after 5 years hoping it would get me into playing again.. but over 5 years passed with the new guitar hanging on the wall just waiting to be played.

then something happened.. my whole world around me changed.. literally.. i quit my job and moved to another country with my girlfriend.. and suddenly i wanted to play guitar again.. and i have been doing it ever since..

occasionally i get these slump weeks where i dont even want to pick it up, but so far these have been small phases.. I always come back to my guitar again, and ever since i picked it up again i've been thinking: "How in the world could i have stopped playing for over 10 years?". I ask myself this because of the enjoyment (and peace within myself) the guitar and music gives me..

But i did take a 10 year break, and while i occasionally think to myself that i would be an AWESOME killer rockstar guitar player right now if i'd only continued back then, but the truth is that i have no regrets.. i have no regrets about past choices.. i live in the moment right now, and thoughts about past events are wasted thoughts that might even drag you down..

And how does this relate to you?? well, i dont know.. i wont tell you what to do.. you should do what you feel is right..

anyways, i hope you figure out where your passion lies.. with or without your guitar.

Posted by: Pedja Simovic May 1 2009, 12:17 PM

I got sad when I read your post...

Many times you will feel the way you feel now. Lets face it music is life long learning process that never stops! If you accept things that way, you will always know that you need to improve. That is certainly not a bad thing nor something to feel bad about. One other thing is, things don't happen over night ! Some people have more talent then others and need less time to get things done. Some are more determined and in longer run achieve what they want.
Your lack of motivation or will to play and improve should always be there no matter what.

Think about what made you play the guitar in the first place ? Was it some band, song, riff ? If it was, why don't you make a goal for yourself to learn that very same song/riff ? That way you will always have something to relate to. Guess what, after you learn one thing right, just around the corner is another thing and then another one... Thats how learning process never stops. Lots of songs, riffs, solos and ideas to explore. It should make you feel happy as playing and making music is all about good energy (in my opinion). If your energy is low and you feel down, music will bring you back up. Don't let it bring you down man...


Send me a list of your favorite riffs and songs that you would like to learn. I will try to find you a way to learn some of them at least.

Pedja

Posted by: TreyDeschamp May 1 2009, 01:01 PM

QUOTE (MickeM @ May 1 2009, 03:21 AM) *
First off, do you even want to play guitar or is it your father who wants you to?
If it's not an urge within yourself it can be difficult.

Second, you say you can't play the songs you like. That's never easy when you're a "zero" (like you said yourself)
Famous songs are always (or in 99% of the cases) performed by skilled musicians, it's really something that would be difficult for a zero to handle. You have to start from the bottom and work yourself up. Without knowing scales and technique nothing will sound good.

Maybe the best thing you could do it to join the mentor program when there's an opening?


Well I always wanted to play from the time I was little I would sit in my dads music room and watch him play and every time I tried to play he would try to teach me but my hands were too small. Actually he ended up giving me his stratocaster. It's just hard to play because my dad doesnt make it fun to play anymore. At first it was like "Here Trey I will show you the basics and teach you the main things" Now its like "Trey! YOU HAVE TO KNOW EVERY MAJOR SCALE BY THE END OF THE NIGHT!" I'm not good at learning things fast so it puts more stress on me and I dont even practice it slow I just straight up go through it not listening to my mistakes.


QUOTE (Pedja Simovic @ May 1 2009, 06:17 AM) *
I got sad when I read your post...

Many times you will feel the way you feel now. Lets face it music is life long learning process that never stops! If you accept things that way, you will always know that you need to improve. That is certainly not a bad thing nor something to feel bad about. One other thing is, things don't happen over night ! Some people have more talent then others and need less time to get things done. Some are more determined and in longer run achieve what they want.
Your lack of motivation or will to play and improve should always be there no matter what.

Think about what made you play the guitar in the first place ? Was it some band, song, riff ? If it was, why don't you make a goal for yourself to learn that very same song/riff ? That way you will always have something to relate to. Guess what, after you learn one thing right, just around the corner is another thing and then another one... Thats how learning process never stops. Lots of songs, riffs, solos and ideas to explore. It should make you feel happy as playing and making music is all about good energy (in my opinion). If your energy is low and you feel down, music will bring you back up. Don't let it bring you down man...


Send me a list of your favorite riffs and songs that you would like to learn. I will try to find you a way to learn some of them at least.

Pedja

Thanks Padja, sorry for making you sad man. Well what made me want to play guitar was my dad but what made me want to be a serious musician was the style of heavy metal and metalcore. I love the fast guitar loud drums and slow heavy break downs.

I love anything from
Trivium
Bullet for my Valentine
In Flames

bands like them.

Posted by: zen May 1 2009, 01:28 PM

QUOTE (Fran @ May 1 2009, 12:40 PM) *
Don't quit mate, you'll regret it down the road, you'll start again someday, and you'll blame yourself for wasting so many valuable years. I do.


Priceless advice !! cool.gif



Posted by: Muris Varajic May 1 2009, 02:39 PM

Maybe you just have to match your current goals
with your current skills, that's all!!
And your dad is doing wrong by saying "you have to know
all major scales by the end of the night",
that's just not educational and gives wrong effects as you can feel.
Let him inspires you but do not take it for granted,
you need to enjoy your music life and not to feel the way you do. smile.gif

Posted by: Tono Fyr May 1 2009, 03:00 PM

Don't feel bad, chum. I've been playing for 3 years and still can't manage to play most of the stuff I want to. Perhaps you should try writing your own stuff? I find it's more fun to play, anyway, because you don't have a preconceived notion of exactly how it HAS to sound, and therefore have a lot more room to play around with the rhythm, note, and chord choice.

Though, if you just derive no joy from playing the guitar, perhaps you should talk to your dad about it. If you're not in it for you, you may be in it for the wrong reasons.

Posted by: Jesse May 1 2009, 03:51 PM

Is your dad famous? Who is he?

Anyway, don't let him bring you down. If you like to play guitar, you should do everything in your own tempo, I'm sure hell understand.

Posted by: chris1093 May 1 2009, 04:55 PM

Jimi hendrix once said "Sometimes you want to give up the guitar, you'll hate the guitar. But if you stick with it, you're gonna be rewarded."

I think everyone goes through times with the guitar where you just want to give up. Take a break for a little while and do some other things. Eventually the music will find you again.

Posted by: JamesT May 1 2009, 07:24 PM

Do talk with your dad about it.

I remember when I was in engineering school and taking much longer than my dad's expectations. (not sure why he was so intense about it, cause I was paying my own way). I remember going into my dads "home office" to tell him that I just wasn't going to live up to his expectations. This was only after I realized that I was truly "self motivated" to finish college, but sort of had to do it my own way. No matter how much he badgered me about my grades or how many hours I was taking in school, I was still going to have to do it my way.

He was pissed (mad not drunk biggrin.gif ), cause I was pissed at him. But in the end he understood. I did finish college, and eventually was able to move out of his house biggrin.gif .

So my advice is that if you do feel "self-motivated", and really do want to continue to play, have a friendly chat (keep it friendly, not like I did), that you've got to go it your own way and set your own expectations and your own goals. The most important thing about playing is to have fun. Everything else can and will come second.

Not sure if this is where you were going with this, but I hope this helps in some way.

Posted by: MickeM May 2 2009, 12:07 AM

QUOTE (TreyDeschamp @ May 1 2009, 02:01 PM) *
Well I always wanted to play from the time I was little I would sit in my dads music room and watch him play and every time I tried to play he would try to teach me but my hands were too small. Actually he ended up giving me his stratocaster. It's just hard to play because my dad doesnt make it fun to play anymore. At first it was like "Here Trey I will show you the basics and teach you the main things" Now its like "Trey! YOU HAVE TO KNOW EVERY MAJOR SCALE BY THE END OF THE NIGHT!" I'm not good at learning things fast so it puts more stress on me and I dont even practice it slow I just straight up go through it not listening to my mistakes.

I think you need to talk with your dad, tell him he's taking the fun away.

Looking at myself I've identified two important matters to practice. Technique and noodling. Noodling is where you put your techninque to work.
Knowing technique and how to adapt it into noodling makes learning songs is easier.

Try to pick a song you want to learn, identify the different techniques in it. Practice the technique! Which is way easier if you have a goal, i.e learning a song. A lot easier than "learn all major scales by noon!", which lacks a goal and is boring. Playing scales is boring so that'd would just kill the joy.
When you master the technique(s) to move on to noodling. Use your new technique in your playing. When you got the flow move on to learning the song that was your goal to start with.

If you do this practicing will be fun. Tell yourself which song to learn, practice the neccessary techniques, noodle em, learn the song.
And don't give up!! Some parts in songs can be very difficult and takes time.

When I practice and noodle around I always use a prefered sound. If I'm learning a rock song I play with such sound. Some say "practice with a clean sound so you can hear any mistakes". I never to that, unless I'm learning a clean part. I play distorted parts with distorted sound, there's a dynamic in the sound that comes from your fingers and playing it clean will not give the same effect. And most of all. Practicing with a clean sound is not FUN!!!
And for me, playing the guitar is all about FUN.
Is you take the fun away I would not se a purpose in playing.

To finish where I started, I think you need to tell your dad that you have to find the fun in playing and maybe, for you, it's not scales at this point. I don't see how he can really force you into learning what he suggests but you should go your way really. And being a member of GMC, "your way" is finding the lessons you like. And take Pedja up on his suggestion !

Posted by: Vince Pergolizzi May 2 2009, 02:09 AM

Pretty much everyone I know who has been playing more than 3-4 years has 'quit' at least once. I think its pretty natural.

Its hard to do the same thing consistently for a really long time.

Theres nothing wrong with putting it down for 6 months or so and doing something else, eventually you will get the itch again I guarantee you. Theres nothing worse than forcing yourself to do something that was originally a fun hobby, great way to kill your desire to play permanently.

Posted by: Vasilije Vukmirovic May 2 2009, 10:23 PM

Ups and downs mate....Learning guitar is no game, you have to push your self...

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