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GMC Forum _ CHILL OUT _ Need Legal Help!
Posted by: Ryan Oct 19 2007, 11:08 AM
This may be a far shot in the dark, but its worth a shot. Alright my Girlfriend, many of you know that me and her had tons of problems seeing each other. Well another problem has popped up.
She ran away a few weeks ago. She is now back and safe, and is in BJ's (Bob Johnson's). What could I do?? I supported her the whole time helping her. Thats why i was gone for a while GEN, but anyways. Since 2 days ago. I have not had any contact with her. Last time I saw her, was her cryign in my arms and hoping into a car. 
I need to do something to help out. I dont know if i can or not. Thats why im posting this.
She had a bad home life, abuse stuff like that. Terrible stuff, that I dont even want to get into. Im not for sure if she talked or not, but Im guessing that she has. From what I have been hearing around town, is that she can have no contact with her parents as of now. Tahts coming form her mom. And some stuff is gonna happen Monday, dont know what.
But im not for sure if she did or not.
Theres been more talk, and I got a bit of proof, of that her parents are willing to sign papers, to get her emancipated. They have told many people that they will sign it. And I also logged on to her email, and got some emails from her mom, saying that this is an option for her. It doesnt directly state that they are willing to sign the papers, but tahts where the wittnesses come in.
I was wondering if maybe that she did talk. Taht maybe I coudl save people soem trouble, and go present this information to her Social Worker, if she has one, and let them know about all this. So maybe instead of going into foster care, and all taht crap with the courts, and everythign. Maybe this a possiblitly. Im not really for sure if i can even do that, or find out who her social worker is, and i cant even find out if she talked.
Can anyone help me in this situation, and tell me if this would be possible, or what if i can do anything???
P.S. I need to do something. I mean come on. WERE GETTING MARRIED. Am I going to be able to do anything? Shes turning 17 this monday by the way.
Posted by: The Uncreator Oct 19 2007, 11:25 AM
Man, first off, you have my deepest sympathies.
About the emancipation, if she does in fact, get emancipated, she shouldnt have to go through foster care, she should, by my understanding of the process of emancipation, be able to live on her own technically. About her parents signing the papers, I think they actually have to sign the papers, if you show them proof that they just said they would, i dont think anything can be done. If a court finds her home life to be unsuitable for her, the judge (i think so) could emancipate her from her parents, but more often than not, they would do, like you said, foster care.
First things first, find her, talk to her, find out what she is planning, or just sit down and discuss what should be done.
I know you dont wanna get into details, but if her home life is bad enough to where she runs away, The important thing is that she gets away from that, Foster care might not seem like a good idea, but if it gets her away from the reasons that caused her to run away, then its still progress.
Just what are you two looking at in the future? do want emancipation? or do you want foster care? what solutions are you looking at to be the end result?
Posted by: fkalich Oct 19 2007, 11:27 AM
She ran away a few weeks ago. She is now back and safe, and is in BJ's (Bob Johnson's). What could I do?? I supported her the whole time helping her. Thats why i was gone for a while GEN, but anyways. Since 2 days ago. I have not had any contact with her. Last time I saw her, was her cryign in my arms and hoping into a car.
I need to do something to help out. I dont know if i can or not. Thats why im posting this.She had a bad home life, abuse stuff like that. Terrible stuff, that I dont even want to get into. Im not for sure if she talked or not, but Im guessing that she has. From what I have been hearing around town, is that she can have no contact with her parents as of now. Tahts coming form her mom. And some stuff is gonna happen Monday, dont know what.
But im not for sure if she did or not.
Theres been more talk, and I got a bit of proof, of that her parents are willing to sign papers, to get her emancipated. They have told many people that they will sign it. And I also logged on to her email, and got some emails from her mom, saying that this is an option for her. It doesnt directly state that they are willing to sign the papers, but tahts where the wittnesses come in.
I was wondering if maybe that she did talk. Taht maybe I coudl save people soem trouble, and go present this information to her Social Worker, if she has one, and let them know about all this. So maybe instead of going into foster care, and all taht crap with the courts, and everythign. Maybe this a possiblitly. Im not really for sure if i can even do that, or find out who her social worker is, and i cant even find out if she talked.
Can anyone help me in this situation, and tell me if this would be possible, or what if i can do anything???
P.S. I need to do something. I mean come on. WERE GETTING MARRIED. Am I going to be able to do anything? Shes turning 17 this monday by the way.
Don't take this wrong. But she is a minor, and you had better he careful. Right or wrong, until she is 18 you are at risk. If you make enemies with her parents, you could end up in some hot water.
That being said, just call social services, just look up in the phone book under county offices. Have her call them. They will want to talk to her, not you. Look for one that sounds good, and if they are not the correct office, ask them to refer you to who you might talk to concerning a minor needing protection from abuse. Let me look up for Douglas county. Ok, we have "Youth Services" under the county in the phone book. See if you can find that for your county. Just talk to these people, make calls to the county, tell them the situation, and work with them.
Posted by: Ryan Oct 19 2007, 11:29 AM
Im hoping for Emacipation, for reasons like. Going through foster care, and all that court stuff, taht shoudl would ahve to go through. Emacipation what you would have maybe 1 court date, of signing that papers, and stuff. Im not really for sure what I can do, but maybe I shall wait, because I cant even talk to her. Shes like on Lock Down. Not really she can leave whenever, since she has done nothign wrong, but it would be like running away again.
And we have talked about it before, and she would rather do that than anything also. So I know she woudl go for it.
Posted by: The Uncreator Oct 19 2007, 11:30 AM
^Man i didnt consider that, her being a minor could cause some major problems.
Social Services though, can provide shelter for abused teens i believe, we have that stuff down here, look for something of that nature.
Posted by: Ryan Oct 19 2007, 11:31 AM
That being said, just call social services, just look up in the phone book under county offices. Have her call them. They will want to talk to her, not you. Look for one that sounds good, and if they are not the correct office, ask them to refer you to who you might talk to concerning a minor needing protection from abuse. Let me look up for Douglas county. Ok, we have "Youth Services" under the county in the phone book. See if you can find that for your county. Just talk to these people, make calls to the county, tell them the situation, and work with them.
Thanks for the reply, but shes already in there hands. She had to leave me Wed. I guess it hasnt been 2 days, but it still feels like forever. And yes I know I could have gotten into a lot of crap. 10 years in jail
cus they would have considered it kidnapping.
Posted by: The Uncreator Oct 19 2007, 11:35 AM
And we have talked about it before, and she would rather do that than anything also. So I know she woudl go for it.
Well this means either
A) You prove to a court that her parents are not fit to be her parents, and emanciaption is the right choice. Although i think the go to foster care in most cases with this.
b:) Get her parents to sign papers agreeing to the terms of emancipation.
Best thing to do is research this stuff as much as you can, i think some of the terms of emancipation are that the person being emancipated can support themselves on there own.
If i remember correctly these are the basic terms of emancipation
(1) enlisting in the military [requires parent/guardian consent]
(2) marrying [requires parent/guardian consent],
(3) obtaining a court order from judge [does not require parent/guardian consent].
seems like the third choice or the second are your only options.
"EDIT"
From Wikipedia
In most countries of the world, adolescents below the legal age of majority may be emancipated somehow: through marriage, pregnancy, economic self-sufficiency, educational degree/diploma, or military service.
Posted by: Spiderusalem Oct 19 2007, 11:39 AM
Why is it always us good hearted musicians that always get into drama like this?
I feel you, man.
I can't add anything to what everyone else is saying. I hope things work out for the best.
P.S. Write a song
Posted by: fkalich Oct 19 2007, 11:39 AM
(2) marrying [requires parent/guardian consent],
(3) obtaining a court order from judge [does not require parent/guardian consent].
seems like the third choice or the second are your only options.
You know, military, she should think about that. Really, I have seen good things come from taking that rout. My nephew flunked out of college, and noting going good for him. Enlisted, now he is an officer, college degree.
edit: Ryan needs to be sensible here. Well he does not need to be. But you put yourself in a tough situation, like getting married that young, well the statistics are against you. Big time. I know everybody thinks they are different, but that is not logical. To me, this sounds like option #1 could be best for the Girl. Really, the military can help repair the damage, a structured environment, goal directed, a place you can feel like you belong. Also you can get benefits.
Posted by: Ryan Oct 19 2007, 11:41 AM
A) You prove to a court that her parents are not fit to be her parents, and emanciaption is the right choice. Although i think the go to foster care in most cases with this.
b:) Get her parents to sign papers agreeing to the terms of emancipation.
Best thing to do is research this stuff as much as you can, i think some of the terms of emancipation are that the person being emancipated can support themselves on there own.
If i remember correctly these are the basic terms of emancipation
(1) enlisting in the military [requires parent/guardian consent]
(2) marrying [requires parent/guardian consent],
(3) obtaining a court order from judge [does not require parent/guardian consent].
seems like the third choice or the second are your only options.
"EDIT"
From Wikipedia
In most countries of the world, adolescents below the legal age of majority may be emancipated somehow: through marriage, pregnancy, economic self-sufficiency, educational degree/diploma, or military service.
Yes Ive looked up many things on Emacipation. But IM not for sure if it will help her any if i go up there to talk to her social worker, and tell her this is what her parents are willing to do, and tell her that i have a bit of proof here, and witnesses of them saying they will. Will they even bother with that? Or will they just say screw it we want money, and then throw her in foster care??
I feel you, man.
I can't add anything to what everyone else is saying. I hope things work out for the best.
P.S. Write a song
Thats a good question.
Posted by: Soul_Decision Oct 19 2007, 11:41 AM
As Uncreator said, talk it over and see what you guys want to do. See if she can stay with you. Then you have to wait and see what happens on Monday. I'm sure you love your girl a lot, you will find a way to stay with her. Also this is something I know you don't want to think about, but you must prepare yourself if everything falls apart. Good luck you and your girl.
Posted by: Ryan Oct 19 2007, 11:43 AM
Thanks for this suggestion, but NOT AN OPTION. I wont let her, and I know for a fact she wouldnt want to.
Well we will be together, You know. She eventually HAS to turn 18
. But as of right now. I want to make this 1 year as easy as possible, because as of right now. It looks like a hard road, and I wont be there much to help. So I need to do all I can. Maybe there is a way for to come stay with me, instead of a foster Family!!
Posted by: The Uncreator Oct 19 2007, 11:44 AM
Im not to sure, If you have witnesses that will testify that her parent said they would, then maybe, or documented proof, better yet, if you could get witnesses to testify that she SHOULD be emancipated, that would help, especially if there adults/ parents themselves.
Talking to someone in Social services might help, it wouldnt do any harm, ask to speak with someone who can give you information of your situation.
Emancipations of this situation are rare, so you have to work hard. In the majority of cases, The Departments Of Child Services is notified and the child is put in foster care, This is a narrow path you tread my friend, talk to someone in Social Services, hell, find a Family Lawyer and talk to him/ her about this.
Posted by: Ryan Oct 19 2007, 11:47 AM
Talking to someone in Social services might help, it wouldnt do any harm, ask to speak with someone who can give you information of your situation.
Hmm, well her family is well. Portrayed as a good family I guess you could say. And both her parents, act one way, but another way. 2 faced if you will. Many people know how much of total a-holes her parents are. Noone really likes them. They just play around like that. Just to be nice!! So maybe that could be a way
Posted by: Soul_Decision Oct 19 2007, 11:47 AM
That's where your paretns come in. Explain the situation to them, they might be able to help you out.
Posted by: fkalich Oct 19 2007, 11:48 AM
I have had those who I felt I could hardly live without, were on my mind all the time. But I forget their names. Such is life. You are not going to fix a tough situation by making it even tougher. But I never listened myself, so there you go.
Your best rout is to think what is best for her, not yourself. That is always the best shot you have at making things work.
I'm out of here.
Posted by: The Uncreator Oct 19 2007, 11:50 AM
You know, ive had friends who have gone through this, if emancipation cant be reached, ive had my friends be 'Adopted' by there friends parents.
It may seem far fetched, but your parents could be the 'foster' parents, these arrangements are met more often than emancipation.
Posted by: Ryan Oct 19 2007, 11:53 AM
Your best rout is to think what is best for her, not yourself. That is always the best shot you have at making things work.
I'm out of here.
Thats what is best for her. To stay away from her parents. And to be with me. Even ask her. I would swear on everythign, thats where she belongs is with me. She would to. She doenst want to live with some strange family, or be with her parents. She just wants me. So the best hting i can do. Is get it so she can be with me.
Hmm theres a lot of me's up there. But Im in no way selfish, and doing it for myself. this is all for her.
It may seem far fetched, but your parents could be the 'foster' parents, these arrangements are met more often than emancipation.
I was hoping that would come up. And if that does happen. Wouldnt that be like insest or something on our part?? I mean ti wouldnt be cus we are in no way blood related, but of being regonzied by the courts?? Would that be considered that?
eww insest NOT COOL!!!
Posted by: The Uncreator Oct 19 2007, 11:55 AM
I can understand that.
Being 17 with a strange family could be upsetting to her, in these situations, the route with the best results should be the one where she is away from the parents, and in a living situation she is familiar and comfortable with. So, i believe you when you say she should be with you, if your working for whats best for, then your not being selfish, if she wants to be with you work for it, if you both have your minds set on what should be done, dont give up.
Posted by: Soul_Decision Oct 19 2007, 11:55 AM
Hmm theres a lot of me's up there. But Im in no way selfish, and doing it for myself. this is all for her.
I was hoping that would come up. And if that does happen. Wouldnt that be like insest or something on our part?? I mean ti wouldnt be cus we are in no way blood related, but of being regonzied by the courts?? Would that be considered that?
eww insest NOT COOL!!!
Yes it would be incest even though you are not blood related
I'm adopted by the way.
Posted by: The Uncreator Oct 19 2007, 11:58 AM
Hmm theres a lot of me's up there. But Im in no way selfish, and doing it for myself. this is all for her.
I was hoping that would come up. And if that does happen. Wouldnt that be like insest or something on our part?? I mean ti wouldnt be cus we are in no way blood related, but of being regonzied by the courts?? Would that be considered that?
eww insest NOT COOL!!!
when she is old enough and ready to live on her own, your parents could sign papers to emancipate her, so under law they would no longer be her parents, or legal guaridans. so by law, it would not be incest.
Posted by: Soul_Decision Oct 19 2007, 12:02 PM
Yes, like I said. Talk to your parents, try to get them involved. Your parents could very well become her guardian without the adoption process. Adoption process takes a a long time and I don't think that is the right way to go.
Posted by: The Uncreator Oct 19 2007, 12:04 PM
I dont know what its called, but theres a word for the much shorter process of a minor being put into another familys care, not as adoption or as foster care, but it can be done, and its not out of reach.
Posted by: Ryan Oct 19 2007, 12:05 PM
I'm adopted by the way.
ewww thats wrong. Thats defnilty not a choice. Anyways doesnt it take a like a year, for parents to become Foster parents anyways ro soemthign?? By that time it woudl be to late anyways. ewww NOO WAY!!
Really, can you help me in finding out of what that is? And if its possible, how would I set things in motion to get this kind of stuff happening?
Posted by: The Uncreator Oct 19 2007, 12:08 PM
Thats why when she is ready yo support herself, she can be emancipated, so, atleast by deductive and logical reasoning, your parents, under law, would not be her parents.
Best thing to do is to talk to someone who knows more about law than I. Social services should have this information readily available.
Honestly, your parents might know what this is, and how it can be done, if this a choice to be considered, let alone played out, you should really talk to them, let them know how much this means to you. They could be the factor that truly helps you out.
Posted by: Soul_Decision Oct 19 2007, 12:10 PM
You should talk to your parents right now.
Posted by: The Uncreator Oct 19 2007, 12:12 PM
+1
Seriously, talk to them, explain this situation.
Posted by: Ryan Oct 19 2007, 12:13 PM
There the ones that made her turn herself in. So there already all in for this. Im just not for sure really on how much there really gonna help. They never did before except talk about things!!
Posted by: The Uncreator Oct 19 2007, 12:14 PM
Then you have to find out.
Tell them words wont solve this, action must be taken, and you need there help.
Posted by: Soul_Decision Oct 19 2007, 12:15 PM
Still, talk to them right now and what the are willing to do. From what you said, I think they will help you.
Posted by: Ryan Oct 19 2007, 12:16 PM
Tell them words wont solve this, action must be taken, and you need there help.
Yes, but then this question pops up again. What can we really do?? As of now, all that I know, and "Think". Is that she talked, and its in the states hands now!! I mean if she didnt talk, or nothing. Dont you think that they would have already sent her home by now?
Posted by: Soul_Decision Oct 19 2007, 12:17 PM
For that question, your simply going to have to wait and see what happens on Monday.
Posted by: Ryan Oct 19 2007, 12:18 PM
Posted by: The Uncreator Oct 19 2007, 12:22 PM
Tough it out man, just think positive, you can do it. Ive gone through tough times like these, so i can relate, and the best thing to do is to focus on the positives, and have no doubts, belive you can do it.
Posted by: Soul_Decision Oct 19 2007, 12:23 PM
1
Posted by: Animosity Oct 19 2007, 01:02 PM
I'm not so sure on all of the legal stuff, but do not under any circumstances get into any fights with her parents. That will get you thrown in jail and then everyone is screwed. I had a buddy who went through his girlfriend having an abusive father and he intervened when her father was hitting her. To make a long story short, he ended up in jail for fighting the father!
Best of luck to you mate! I hope all works out in the end.
Posted by: Ryan Oct 19 2007, 01:51 PM
Best of luck to you mate! I hope all works out in the end.
Yes I know, going to jail is a bad thing for me right now. But honestly. I wouldnt think twice about it if you give me an oppornunity!!
Posted by: Ryan Oct 27 2007, 07:28 AM
Look at this new bullcrap stuff there putting about me in the paper cus she ran away!!
http://hsn.live.mediaspanonline.com/Todaystop/runaways
They blamed it on me. There full of it. If its my fault, why cant they see her right now? because she doesnt want to!! If its my fault why is she home right now? Because she hates it there and hates them.
Posted by: The Uncreator Oct 28 2007, 10:10 PM
Wow, i know i wasnt there for any of it, but it sounds like total BS What there writing.
Its sterotypical to blame the teens boyfriends, same thing happened down here with a friend of mine, she ran away because of her parents, and they blamed her boyfriend, one of my best friends.
god, i just have a growing hatred for the media. I hope everything works out for you, my best wishes and prayers are with you.
Posted by: Understudy Oct 28 2007, 11:11 PM
Hey Ryan,
Just some advice on this situation from someone who has a nephew that was emancipated from my brother and his wife. First things first, you live in Kansas correct ? You need to protect yourself before considering any other options. Look up the law on rape in your state. You are 18 and she is a minor, check carefully for the laws. Her parents can turn around and say you raped her, and if the law allows you are going to be in trouble. Your state (like my nephews state) may have a different age that it considers people adults. My nephews state views the age of 17 to be a legal adult. The court made my brother and his wife sign papers releasing him from their custody. He turned 18 in August but it was a long ugly court battle and it was very expensive. Multiple court hearings, a family torn apart (not only between the parents and the kid, but the rest of the family also). At this point , there is nothing you can do, nor that your parents can do to help. I would be positive that her parents gave your girlfriends computer to police to extract internet info from, I hope you two were careful with your online chatting and e mail. My nephew was in your position, he was 17 , the girl was 15 at the time. Lucky for him the girls parents did not hold anything against him, although he was sent to juvy for a brief stint, until the court determined that it was consentual sex and not rape. Point is, be very careful here, and cover your *ss !! I would suggest suspending contact with this girl until this cools off, you do not want to be the scapegoat for her parents animosity, and you certainly do not want to get arrested for raping a minor or kidnapping a minor !! Check the laws in your state and see what legal consent age is before you act on anything, and see how old she needs to be to file for emancipation. What ever you do, please do it carefully and do not aggitate her parents, they can make things very ugly for you. Drop me an e mail if you want particulars regarding my nephews case, I won't openly discuss them here. Good luck man.
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