Original lesson: http://www.guitarmasterclass.net/ls/Metal-Metrics-4/
hehehe well done mate! You already can play this one very well! It's time to give more energy to your rhythm guitar playing. This style must be played with a more aggressive strumming and vibrato. Besides that I can add that it seems that string 6th or 5th are a bit our of tune.
That's all from me, let's see what Cosmin, thee master of Metal Metrics says about this.
Keep on rocking.
This is a good effort. Your timing is mostly solid and your hitting the right notes. Gab has mentioned palm muting and vibrato. As he said, it needs to be a bit more assertive. Towards the end of the lesson, it gets to the part where you're playing the natural harmonic on the open E string. When you go to fret afterwards it's always one note to late. Please see the times below for reference.
0:36
0:39
0:42
If you listen to Cosmin he always moves to the next note just before that. Don't worry, most people seem to make the same mistake as you here so you're not alone. But these little bits and pieces do change the overall presentation and feel of a song.
Hey mate
Side from what the guys have pointed out I have to tell you that you need to push your vibrato to a more aggressive state and the lick at 0:42 needs a bit more of your focus as it needs more work to sound right.
Otherwise, I think you pretty much nailed everything Work on the suggested stuff and this can easily turn into a 10!
Keep rocking,
Cosmin
Once again we can see how much work You put in all those takes. Good job. Some details to be fixed are mentioned by guys above. I think You could try to play a bit harder with Your right hand so some of the timming will fix just like that
Pass: 7.5
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