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GMC Forum _ CHILL OUT _ Betrayed
Posted by: ActiveX Feb 28 2008, 06:44 PM
I just found out that my wife has been cheating on me. Things with her have not been good for a while
and now I know why. I thought we were trying to work things out...she told me that she
wanted to fix our relationship, but yet she was still seeing someone else behind my back.
Just a few days ago, she was still denying that she was doing anything,
but then I found the smoking gun. She has been lying to me for years, and I don't understand
how someone can say they love you, and then lie to your face every single day. I also
found out that the people she has been hanging around are not good people, and are into some
very bad things.I'm worried that she is exposing our kids to the wrong type of people (5 year old son, 3 year old daughter).
So I took the kids and left...we are at my parents house right now. Has anyone else ever gone
through anything like this, how did you handle it, how long until the hurt goes away, how
long until I can trust someone again.
Posted by: at lights end Feb 28 2008, 07:05 PM
ouch.
i can't really help you there, but i feel for you man.
i hope you get through it ok.
Posted by: Robwylde Feb 28 2008, 07:13 PM
I'm sorry to he this. I've never gone through that, but if the people are bad you did the right thing on getting your kids out. Hang tight and know things will work out. Your pain is real, but time will soften your heartache. Be there for your kids and know we're here for you.
Posted by: Milenkovic Ivan Feb 28 2008, 07:27 PM
I'm very sorry to hear that man. Be strong for your kids and your family!
PS What's a smoking gun? Is your wife maybe having a drug problem?
Posted by: Goliath Feb 28 2008, 08:06 PM
smoking gun means caught in the act.
Posted by: Wallimann Feb 28 2008, 08:09 PM
and now I know why. I thought we were trying to work things out...she told me that she
wanted to fix our relationship, but yet she was still seeing someone else behind my back.
Just a few days ago, she was still denying that she was doing anything,
but then I found the smoking gun. She has been lying to me for years, and I don't understand
how someone can say they love you, and then lie to your face every single day. I also
found out that the people she has been hanging around are not good people, and are into some
very bad things.I'm worried that she is exposing our kids to the wrong type of people (5 year old son, 3 year old daughter).
So I took the kids and left...we are at my parents house right now. Has anyone else ever gone
through anything like this, how did you handle it, how long until the hurt goes away, how
long until I can trust someone again.
I'm so sorry to hear that my friend.
I don't have much advice but know that I feel your difficult moment.
Will keep you and the kids in prayer.
Posted by: Smells Feb 28 2008, 08:18 PM
Stay strong mate, look after them kids, they are the most important thing here.
Its gutting when someone you trust stabs you through the heart like this, I cant offer you any advice, hang in there mate, you will get through this I promise if you stay focused on the right things.
Good luck I wish all the best
Posted by: Pi38 Feb 28 2008, 08:26 PM
Really sorry to hear that. Hang in there though. You never know what tomorrow might bring.
Posted by: bsamn Feb 28 2008, 08:31 PM
Dude honestly best of luck, im sorry but i hope everything gets better for you.
Posted by: SLASH91 Feb 28 2008, 08:50 PM
That's really awful, man, I'm sorry 
Posted by: OrganisedConfusion Feb 28 2008, 08:55 PM
That sucks man. But keep your kids away and don't go back with her if she has no regard for your feelings. There are decent women out there and you deserve one.
Posted by: Duncan Feb 28 2008, 09:10 PM
I'm afraid you'll have to hide your feelings to a certain extent for the sake of your kids. Changes at that age can have a big effect on kids. I know you probably don't want to even see your ex at the moment, but if there's a chance she can get back on the right track, kids need a mum.
Posted by: Guitarman700 Feb 28 2008, 09:40 PM
not that kind. i REALLY hate these kinds of people. they dont give a flying F#$% about anyone but themselves. if this was the first time, id say give her a second chance. but since its not, hang her out to dry.
Posted by: botoxfox Feb 28 2008, 09:45 PM
That sucks man...
Posted by: Goliath Feb 28 2008, 10:05 PM
I feel for you man, I really do, that must be gut wrenching.
If this has been going on for YEARS I certainly would not take her at her word she was going to improve. Were it I, I'd hang her out to dry as recommended, but I'm also prideful to a fault.
Keep the kids in mind. it is very likely she gets her act together when she realizes that she stands a very good chance of losing custody of kids.
Posted by: FretDancer69 Feb 28 2008, 10:10 PM
Im sorry to hear this man. I cant give you any good advice since im only 17, but i think you did the right thing by taking your kids and moving. I think it would be good if you just focus on your kids right now, they are whats most important now i believe. About the heartache, it will dissapear by time.
I Agree, find yourself a new woman, a good one. You deserve one.
Posted by: Toni Suominen Feb 28 2008, 10:23 PM
I'm very sorry to hear that dude, but you gotta be strong now for your kids, just hang in there
Posted by: visi0n Feb 28 2008, 11:22 PM
I'm really sorry to hear that man i can understand how you feel, because i had a similair moment too, my ex girlfriend was cheating on me too, it was the last few weeks before we broke up, but this is a bigger problem because there are 2 kids, im really sorry for you.
Posted by: shellshock1911 Feb 29 2008, 01:17 AM
PS What's a smoking gun? Is your wife maybe having a drug problem?
Smoking gun is an english expression used to mean something along the lines of "Caught in the act," basically getting caught.
Posted by: Milenkovic Ivan Feb 29 2008, 01:49 AM
I'm sorry for misinterpreted.
Again I feel very bad about you and your kids especially. Take care of them man!
Posted by: Duncan Feb 29 2008, 02:19 AM
Are you saying you hate me?
By all means don't get back with her if she's been unfaithful.
Posted by: Trond Vold Feb 29 2008, 02:36 AM
Sorry to hear that
Never been in a situation directly like that, but i've experienced 2nd hand what can happen when a parent introduces kids to bad elements.
I hope things will work out for you and the kids.
Posted by: Guitarman700 Feb 29 2008, 02:44 AM
By all means don't get back with her if she's been unfaithful.
not you, people like his wife.
Posted by: Smikey2006 Feb 29 2008, 02:51 AM
so sorry to hear i can't really offer any advice other than stay strong and keep the kids in mind.. they are whats most important
Posted by: Eat-Sleep-andJam Feb 29 2008, 03:57 AM
Im so sorry man I really am. Nothing I can say or do can make you feel any better but Ill give it my best shot. This may sound totally wrong but in a sense this is a good thing. You have saved your kids from growing up in what could have turned into a unhealthy environment and you arent being betrayed anymore. Now comes the hard part. You may have lost one part of your family but from the looks of it it was a part that you didnt need at all. You still have your amazing children and thats what really matters. All you can do is be a father and be there for your kids. Keep us updated ~later man
Posted by: FretDancer69 Feb 29 2008, 05:15 AM
I think ESJ makes a good point, even if its tough to accept, i do agree with ESJ.
Posted by: Outlaw2112 Feb 29 2008, 05:41 AM
I went through the same thing... my wife was cheating on me and i have a 6 year old son... he was 3 at the time of all that... Its a very rough time your about to go through, very emotional and heart breaking... But youll be stronger in the end.... All I can say is dont drink or do any drugs to get through this, its better to tackle your feelings and problems with a straight mind.. I quit drinking when i was going through that time in my life, i figured that i could go down two roads, one road would probably turn me into an alcoholic and the other one i could improve myself and tackle my problems head on with a straight mind... If you'd like to talk send me your email through a PM, we could talk about things off the forums...
Keep your head up bro, and try not to get yourself down... I personally went to the gym like everyday and worked out to get into the best shape of my life and rub her face in it... Also going to the gym improves your self confidence...
Good Luck
Posted by: ace_frehely Feb 29 2008, 06:09 AM
I'm really sorry for you...but you have to keep moving forward..i bet you never expected this to happen...God diddnt create you to be frustraded...He has something better in store for you..you have to move forward and get better of the things ur good or bad at..and care about your kids..thats all I have to say.
Posted by: ActiveX Feb 29 2008, 07:26 AM
Wow, thanks for all the support guys, it really does mean a lot to me.
I joined this site a few months ago when things started to go bad. My wife
was never around, and I was home alone with the kids every night. I needed something to
take my mind off of things, so I picked up my guitar for the first time in 15 years,
and it has helped me get through what has been a very difficult time in my life.
As for my wife, she is not a completely bad person;
She had a horrible upbringing with abusive and alcoholic parents, who are still constantly causing problems.
She wants to be a good person, but she has demons that she needs to work out before I would
consider taking her back. I want our kids to have their mother around, they love her and I
know that she loves them. When her mind is clear, she is a great mother. But for the last couple
of years she has been slowly going down the wrong path. I've not given up on her or on us completely,
but it will be a long journey to get things right.
Thanks again, you guys are awesome! 
Posted by: swingline Feb 29 2008, 07:40 AM
I joined this site a few months ago when things started to go bad. My wife
was never around, and I was home alone with the kids every night. I needed something to
take my mind off of things, so I picked up my guitar for the first time in 15 years,
and it has helped me get through what has been a very difficult time in my life.
As for my wife, she is not a completely bad person;
She had a horrible upbringing with abusive and alcoholic parents, who are still constantly causing problems.
She wants to be a good person, but she has demons that she needs to work out before I would
consider taking her back. I want our kids to have their mother around, they love her and I
know that she loves them. When her mind is clear, she is a great mother. But for the last couple
of years she has been slowly going down the wrong path. I've not given up on her or on us completely,
but it will be a long journey to get things right.
Thanks again, you guys are awesome!
Good to hear your so forgiving, everyone deserves a second chance. Hopefully things get on the right track. Good Luck!
Posted by: FretDancer69 Mar 2 2008, 03:12 AM
I joined this site a few months ago when things started to go bad. My wife
was never around, and I was home alone with the kids every night. I needed something to
take my mind off of things, so I picked up my guitar for the first time in 15 years,
and it has helped me get through what has been a very difficult time in my life.
As for my wife, she is not a completely bad person;
She had a horrible upbringing with abusive and alcoholic parents, who are still constantly causing problems.
She wants to be a good person, but she has demons that she needs to work out before I would
consider taking her back. I want our kids to have their mother around, they love her and I
know that she loves them. When her mind is clear, she is a great mother. But for the last couple
of years she has been slowly going down the wrong path. I've not given up on her or on us completely,
but it will be a long journey to get things right.
Thanks again, you guys are awesome!
your kids are very lucky to have you as a parent. You are indeed a very forgiving person. I hope everything turns out good for everyone
Posted by: Jamesito Mar 2 2008, 04:32 PM
I think it´s a difficult situation for both of you as there are children involved aswell that always compliates everything. I think you should think hard about everything, would you be able to forgive her? and would she really try to turn her life around? both are very difficult questions... It´s easy to hate and very difficult to forgive sometimes... but it´s important that you make the right choise... some people forgive and then later they hate themselves for it....
I wish you the very best of luck my friend and know that GMC is here for you!!
Jamesito 
Posted by: MickeM Mar 3 2008, 01:10 AM
Sorry to hear mate! It's difficult, if you say impossible to give advice about this. But you caring about your kids first sounds like the best thing to do.
Her bad upbringing, as you put it, may cause her problems such as you're a kind husband while she's used to an alcoholic father. Big collision there if she can't feel "sequre" as it is.
If you're concidering forgiving here I hope you can pin point the problem, solve it and restart. Kids need both a mom and a dad and they love you both. I hope for their sake there will not be a war for custody. You've showed to be loving and caring about your kids while your wife been not thinking of consequences at all. When couples have kids, it's for real.
I'm glad to see you're responsible about them. I wish you all the best sorting this out.
Posted by: ActiveX Mar 3 2008, 04:33 AM
I'm glad to see you're responsible about them. I wish you all the best sorting this out.
I have forgiven her, but we will be going our separate ways. We've been
talking the last couple of days, where we discussed some of my concerns,
and we both want to remain on good terms for the kids sake. She really does
need some time on her own to work out some personal problems, and I need to
get on with my life. This may be a blessing in disguise, and who knows what the future holds.
The important thing is that my children will still have both of us in their lives; and we can still have
family days without the both of us ripping each other apart. It still hurts, but I'm
gonna be alright.
Posted by: FretDancer69 Mar 3 2008, 05:32 AM
talking the last couple of days, where we discussed some of my concerns,
and we both want to remain on good terms for the kids sake. She really does
need some time on her own to work out some personal problems. This may be a
blessing in disguise, and who knows what the future holds. The important thing
is that my children will still have both of us in their lives; and we can still have
family days without the both of us ripping each other apart. It still hurts, but I'm
gonna be alright.
Its good to hear man
Posted by: MickeM Mar 3 2008, 09:12 AM
talking the last couple of days, where we discussed some of my concerns,
and we both want to remain on good terms for the kids sake. She really does
need some time on her own to work out some personal problems. This may be a
blessing in disguise, and who knows what the future holds. The important thing
is that my children will still have both of us in their lives; and we can still have
family days without the both of us ripping each other apart. It still hurts, but I'm
gonna be alright.
Glad to hear that you're doing alright. Just drop a few lines now and then when you need a bunch of friends to support you.
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