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GMC Forum _ PRACTICE ROOM _ Letting Go
Posted by: Cosmin Lupu Sep 28 2011, 08:05 AM
I am writing this, being inspired by a post written by Sinisa 
I remember him writing something about a time when another player told him that he couldn't play because he felt Sinisa was better than him, thus making him feel inferior (without the slightest intent on Sinisa's behalf of course)
Now, the question is - do you feel inspired when being around more experienced players and tend to tag along with the party and just feel good, or do you back away thinking you are surpassed by the context? I experienced this a lot of times, but I realized (pretty recently) that if you are confident enough on what you can do, you should just LET GO and enjoy the company if you are not, you should do it anyway, it's no contest! Unfortunately we succumb to our own fears and forget about what music actually does - it should bring people together, right?
Have you ever experienced such stuff? How did you deal with it?
Posted by: Ivan Milenkovic Sep 28 2011, 12:29 PM
Well each player is a different person. We all have something unique to express, and t's important to show respect towards anyone ready to express himself. To me, the thing that deserves respect is when I see a player, older, younger, doesn't matter - is being able to express of who he is in an honest way through the instrument. Nothing worse then watching someone trying to "fake" emotion on a guitar.
Posted by: Gabriel Leopardi Sep 28 2011, 05:22 PM
Can't agree more! When I was younger I use to feel intimidated by "better" players in this type of situations... with the pass of time I started to discover about the uniqueness that every persons has thanks to reading books and also thanks to hearing Steve Vai talking a lot about it. Music is art and art is expression so there isn't better or worse musicians... exploring out unique side is the key.
Posted by: AK Rich Sep 28 2011, 05:39 PM
For myself I have always welcomed jamming with a superior musician, In my opinion jamming with the best only elevates my own playing, so not only do I welcome it , It is something I like to do whenever I can so I can add to my own musical vocabulary.
Rich....
Posted by: Gabriel Leopardi Sep 28 2011, 05:51 PM
Rich....
Definitely! It's like having private lessons... you get inspiration seeing and jamming with other players...
Posted by: thefireball Sep 28 2011, 05:58 PM
I experience this all the time. I just keep on playing though. I don't mind "tagging along." I'm sure to learn something.
Posted by: Sinisa Cekic Sep 28 2011, 09:08 PM
I remember him writing something about a time when another player told him that he couldn't play because he felt Sinisa was better than him, thus making him feel inferior (without the slightest intent on Sinisa's behalf of course) Now, the question is - do you feel inspired when being around more experienced players and tend to tag along with the party and just feel good, or do you back away thinking you are surpassed by the context? I experienced this a lot of times, but I realized (pretty recently) that if you are confident enough on what you can do, you should just LET GO and enjoy the company
if you are not, you should do it anyway, it's no contest! Unfortunately we succumb to our own fears and forget about what music actually does - it should bring people together, right?Have you ever experienced such stuff? How did you deal with it?
Very clever thinking Cosmin!
Guys,you should be worry about your self confidence,not for a bunch of guitar tones of a "better" musician! The sooner you realize that - mentally you will be much stronger!
Posted by: Azzaboi Sep 28 2011, 09:46 PM
I'm a firm believer you should surround yourself with those people who you wish to become like. Wheither it's just a poster and videos doesn't matter. You should however pick your friends carefully as your'll fuel off each other a lot more than you first believed. Both forces of loving something or hating something apply and you become more like them as they slowly affect you. So when it comes down to meeting someone 100 times better than me in something, rather than shying away from it saying I could never do that, I try take it on as a positive challenge to boost myself to the next level! It all comes down to your own outlook on life to what you achieve, others can feed or slow that down, but that also depends on your view of taking it positive or negatively.
Posted by: Adrian Figallo Sep 29 2011, 04:07 AM
i don't really feel intimidated by other "better" musicians, i think we are all different and that's the beauty of art
Posted by: Cosmin Lupu Sep 29 2011, 07:25 AM
guys, I'm sure glad you are all coming up with this positive attitude! Unfortunately, a lot of people are held back by the fact that their mental state is always something like the one described in the first post.
Posted by: rhoads Oct 5 2011, 12:17 PM
guys, I'm sure glad you are all coming up with this positive attitude! Unfortunately, a lot of people are held back by the fact that their mental state is always something like the one described in the first post.Yep, I am struggling with that also.
Posted by: Cosmin Lupu Oct 6 2011, 07:18 AM
Well then...just let go
Posted by: Ben Higgins Oct 6 2011, 02:49 PM
Absolutely.. the truth right there !
This is a good post, Cosmin. I used to have more of an ego when I was younger, especially mid to late teens. I couldn't stand the thought of someone being better than me on the guitar. It was the only thing that was mine, that I was good at so I was quite possessive about it.
Thankfully, I grew up
I think when you admit to yourself that it's ok for other people to be better than you at something, you remove a lot of pressure from your shoulders. You no longer have to strive to 'be the best, better than everyone else' you can just get busy with being you.These days, I'm happy to oberve a master in their trade and let it inspire me to greater possibilites. Don't let the ego block possible opportunities for learning.. because if you let it, the ego can block anything positive coming into your life.
Posted by: Cosmin Lupu Oct 6 2011, 03:31 PM
This is a good post, Cosmin. I used to have more of an ego when I was younger, especially mid to late teens. I couldn't stand the thought of someone being better than me on the guitar. It was the only thing that was mine, that I was good at so I was quite possessive about it.
Thankfully, I grew up
I think when you admit to yourself that it's ok for other people to be better than you at something, you remove a lot of pressure from your shoulders. You no longer have to strive to 'be the best, better than everyone else' you can just get busy with being you.These days, I'm happy to oberve a master in their trade and let it inspire me to greater possibilites. Don't let the ego block possible opportunities for learning.. because if you let it, the ego can block anything positive coming into your life.
True that, plus, the world is big enough and we are so different from one another that you can be very good in your own way as everybody else can
so, no biggie on that one 
Posted by: Sircraigery Oct 7 2011, 03:29 AM
I used to feel uncomfortable jamming with someone that was A LOT better (and over there years, there has been those situations). It wasn't always the same thing about my playing that I felt insecure with.
This is because I would go home & try to imitate some things they did, and eventually I caught up to most of my friends. Some are still way better, but they are my idea bank when I get bored.
The only thing I didn't like (as a kid) jamming, is when the better guitar player was envious of your gear. Lucky for me, I had a job after school so I could buy nice stuff. Sometimes that didn't go over too well though.
Posted by: Cosmin Lupu Oct 10 2011, 07:14 AM
Evolution has a pretty queer way of sneaking up upon us for instance, imagine that back in 2007 I firmly believed that I would NEVER be able to write a song from A to Z.. a lot has happened in 4 years BUT I NEVER PUSHED IT I let things come to me. Of course, I was curious, I explored, written, failed, received experiences from others, you know, what an exploring young lad with a guitar does Patience is the key I guess
Posted by: Sickz666 Oct 12 2011, 06:47 PM
Well i love playing with people, no matter if they are better then me or not.
But i feel some guitarist tend to get very annyoing if they are better. Reason i quit my old band was cause the other guitarist ( who then had played for 3 years, and me for less than 1 ) kept comparing himself to me and saying i wasent good when there was something i couldent play. Short, he was an ass.
Posted by: Cosmin Lupu Oct 12 2011, 07:04 PM
But i feel some guitarist tend to get very annyoing if they are better. Reason i quit my old band was cause the other guitarist ( who then had played for 3 years, and me for less than 1 ) kept comparing himself to me and saying i wasent good when there was something i couldent play. Short, he was an ass.
Comparisons are not good between band members - mates should help themselves out not kick one another in the balls
Posted by: Sickz666 Oct 12 2011, 07:37 PM
Yeah i figured, that's why i did quit.
My new band is much better, more relaxed together aswell.
Posted by: Cosmin Lupu Oct 12 2011, 10:12 PM
My new band is much better, more relaxed together aswell.
Are you also doing vocals?
Posted by: Todd Simpson Oct 13 2011, 04:51 AM
guys, I'm sure glad you are all coming up with this positive attitude! Unfortunately, a lot of people are held back by the fact that their mental state is always something like the one described in the first post.I have had students who really struggled with this a while back when I was doing a lot of one on one lessons. I could tell that the students actually had talent, much more than me in many cases. And it was really just practice discipline standing in their way. But somehow, it got twisted in to a lack of confidence in their playing. And confidence, or lack of it, comes through in ones playing. It's hard not to hear the player in part of what's played. So I would always tell them
Play With Authority
Even if your not playing much.
Eric clapton for example, never bows his head when misses a scale and I've seen him miss quite a few. He throws his arm back in a flourish and grabs a string bend. And the crowd goes wild.
Posted by: Sickz666 Oct 13 2011, 06:22 AM
Yes.
In my current band i'm the lead guitarist/Scream vocalist. We are still looking for basist and clean singer.
Posted by: Cosmin Lupu Oct 13 2011, 07:04 AM
In my current band i'm the lead guitarist/Scream vocalist. We are still looking for basist and clean singer.
What kind of stuff will you guys be playing?
Posted by: Ben Higgins Oct 13 2011, 10:01 AM
Play With Authority
Even if your not playing much.
Eric clapton for example, never bows his head when misses a scale and I've seen him miss quite a few. He throws his arm back in a flourish and grabs a string bend. And the crowd goes wild.
Yes, you're very right, Todd. I've lost count of the amount of people who've stood in front of me and exclaimed 'Oh man, I wish I could do that' or 'I suck' or words to that effect.. they forget the part where they've only been playing a year or so and I've been playing for over a decade. It's not that they suck, they just haven't been doing it as long.. it's only practice that seperates me from them. If you apply yourself, you can do it. Ability doesn't fall out of the sky and land in our lap.. you have to want to do something. That desire then points you towards the knowledge which will help you, the teachers or the info that you need, and you practice the bits that appeal to your desire the most. Sooner or later, your path is well established and you're on your way.
The paradox is that you have to let go of the 'result' or 'outcome' so that you can focus on the NOW. If we've unconsiously applied a time limit or a goal that has to be reached or you'll be unhappy, then you strangle yourself with it and will find progress even harder.
Have goals, but make sure they're constructive ones, not destructive. If they are like 'I want to be the best insert technique here' or 'I want to be be better than' then they are quite destructive goals and I'm sure none of us here think like that. You will know if it's more of a constructive goal because it will be concerned only with your own natural progress and not concerned with how you appear to the outside world.
Here's a http://www.guitarmasterclass.net/guitar_forum/index.php?showtopic=40966 I posted which applies to this perfectly.
Posted by: Cosmin Lupu Oct 13 2011, 11:00 AM
Great to see that this thread is flapping its wings so true Ben, I've been in the same situation with people telling me that they suck and I am still one of them, unconsciously though, sometimes when I drop an eye and ear on some Guthrie Govan or other 6 string wizard
Time invested and willpower will always make the difference! Too bad we are too blind to see it clearly most of the time!
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