For starters, I think the pick to use is personal preference. However, I do believe that thicker picks will work best for alt picking because they don't have as much bend which is more effective for the smaller picking motion you're after.
And to hold the pick, I hope this explanation helps. I think you hold the pick the same way whether you are up stroking or down stroking. It seems impractical to try and switch the angle that quickly when alt picking!
If you rest your pick flat on the top of one string, lift the right side of your pick up until there is about a 45 degree angle and I do believe that is the way Kris had explained to hold your pick.
I hope this helps and doesn't confuse you further!
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This post has been edited by AIB234: Mar 9 2007, 12:03 AM