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GMC Forum _ Bands and Guitarists _ Ladies (or Anyone) Of Gmc Could Ya Help Me Out?

Posted by: Old School Rocker May 20 2008, 08:31 PM

I ask for the Ladies in particular cause its about my Sister and i figure you may understand better but im not sure....I was also gonna post this in the ladies section but Guys arent supposed to start threads so this'l have to do.

Well im gonna give an example to help people answer this question.

My sister is 17 and now a very dark scary kinda girl not all freaky looking... just dark, she has the whole lip, eyebrow, ear pericing thing going on and she has black hair with red in it and pretty much wears only dark clothing and dark make-up, and anything dark looking she wants it.

Now about 2 years ago she was a pretty, bright, & happy girl who listened to normal music IMO (I'l get to the music part in a second) but now this i've noticed she listens to music like: Disturbed, Kalmah, Slipknot (those are the three I noticed the most) and any other band that screams isanely and seems to be hatefull or has the word Die or Death in at least one of there songs, basically its dark death metal stuff.

Yes i know there are some good metal bands, I dont like many but, back to the point. Now that my Sis has been Listening to all this her attitude has gone from nice happy person to angry mean girl who you probably whould'nt talk to. Its even started to affect the familly now every weekend I come home from colledge and there is a huge fight about something and it ends up being about her uncontrollable anger and I believe that it is because of this terrible, angry, dark music.

Now as for our familly life its great so I dont think thats the cause as for her social life its been relitvely good as well never the most popular but she never cared about all that she had the one good friend and that was plenty.

So what im trying to get at is I think that her anger and darkness is because of this music.

I know this is probably hard to answer but if you know somebody like this or you are like my sis any kind of feedback would help. As well as Id like everyone's oppinion whether or not you think music styles can change someones personallity.

Posted by: skennington May 20 2008, 08:46 PM

QUOTE (Old School Rocker @ May 20 2008, 02:31 PM) *
I ask for the Ladies in particular cause its about my Sister and i figure you may understand better but im not sure....I was also gonna post this in the ladies section but Guys arent supposed to start threads so this'l have to do.

Well im gonna give an example to help people answer this question.

My sister is now a very dark scary kinda girl not all freaky looking... just dark, she has the whole lip, eyebrow, ear pericing thing going on and she has black hair with red in it and pretty much wears only dark clothing and dark make-up, and anything dark looking she wants it.

Now about 2 years ago she was a pretty, bright, & happy girl who listened to normal music IMO (I'l get to the music part in a second) but now this i've noticed she listens to music like: Disturbed, Kalmah, Slipknot (those are the three I noticed the most) and any other band that screams isanely and seems to be hatefull or has the word Die or Death in at least one of there songs, basically its dark death metal stuff.

Yes i know there are some good metal bands, I dont like many but, back to the point. Now that my Sis has been Listening to all this her attitude has gone from nice happy person to angry mean girl who you probably whould'nt talk to. Its even started to affect the familly now every weekend I come home from colledge and there is a huge fight about something and it ends up being about her uncontrollable anger and I believe that it is because of this terrible, angry, dark music.

Now as for our familly life its great so I dont think thats the cause as for her social life its been relitvely good as well never the most popular but she never cared about all that she had the one good friend and that was plenty.

QUOTE
So what im trying to get at is I think that her anger and darkness is because of this music.

I know this is probably hard to answer but if you know somebody like this or you are like my sis any kind of feedback would help. As well as Id like everyone's oppinion whether or not you think music styles can change someones personallity.



Imo, I think the music has a little to do with it. I also think that you must be angry to begin with to allign yourself with the style. Give an example, I do like metal but not the growling, cant understand what they are singing about ,black/death style. When working out or pissed off, I will through on some Disturbed or Mudvayne or something like that. Again, music fits the mood. Now, I also like other styles as well when just relaxing with a cold one or something. IE Jimmy Buffett or something mellow.

Just my opinion but I think the attitude comes from within and not because of the music, the music is just an expression of the attitude.

Posted by: VinceG May 20 2008, 08:47 PM

I think its just one of those phases that teenagers go through. People who finds out about dark music, especially teenagers, tend to act tough, angry and mean to people because its best portrayed in the music. I bet if people give her more space and maybe show more inspiration or support, she wouldn't be so "hard" or act up.

I admit, I do wear a lot of black shirts with bands that depict death, depression, anti-religion and stuff, and that I sometimes get in fight with my family, but its nothing like Im hypnotized by the music or anything you know. The fact that this was the music I chose to represent myself as, and that my family now supports me to it, I even have a radio show where I play Metal, its just a matter of support. Yes, we get into fights, but music was never the blame for it. I'm the odd ball of the family by the way and I listen to the blackest and hateful of all music. It does affect my personality as a person, but I'm also nice enough to introduce myself as the nicest guy.

Music is music, it all affects us physically and mentally. I think she just needs a positive Metalhead role model. Someone she can look up to, that also share the same ideals as her.


Posted by: Spreedmaster May 20 2008, 08:53 PM

QUOTE (Old School Rocker @ May 20 2008, 08:31 PM) *
lip, eyebrow, ear pericing thing going on and she has black hair with red in it and pretty much wears only dark clothing
.[/b]



You just described me!!!!!! laugh.gif except my eyebrow piercing migrated and now all I have is an eyebrow scar! biggrin.gif my hairs red and black, my lip is pierced and I listen to disturbed and slipknot, and Im fine, so I wouldnt worry about her! cool.gif Its better than being a chav or an emo!

Im sure my relatives and parents thought it was a phase too, but Im 22 now and im not changing! tongue.gif

Posted by: Old School Rocker May 20 2008, 09:03 PM

QUOTE (VinceG @ May 20 2008, 12:47 PM) *
I think she just needs a positive Metalhead role model. Someone she can look up to, that also share the same ideals as her.

That was an eye opener right there it made a lot of sence.

Thanks for the help and oppinions. Any other comments or suggetions are more than welcome.

QUOTE (Spreedmaster @ May 20 2008, 12:53 PM) *
You just described me!!!!!! laugh.gif except my eyebrow piercing migrated and now all I have is an eyebrow scar! biggrin.gif my hairs red and black, my lip is pierced and I listen to disturbed and slipknot, and Im fine, so I wouldnt worry about her! cool.gif Its better than being a chav or an emo!

Im sure my relatives and parents thought it was a phase too, but Im 22 now and im not changing! tongue.gif

Im tottally cool with the look though looking back I may have not expressed that im just concered about the attitude whether the attitude is because of the look or if the look is because of the attitude.

But yeah I gotta ask you SpreedMaster what was the turning point that made you want to dress, act, and listen to the things you do that would help me clear up some thoughts.

BTW: Right now im gonna make clear for everyone I am not against Indivuality and a persons style if i made it sound like it.

Posted by: Spreedmaster May 20 2008, 09:20 PM

QUOTE (Old School Rocker @ May 20 2008, 09:03 PM) *
But yeah I gotta ask you SpreedMaster what was the turning point that made you want to dress, act, and listen to the things you do that would help me clear up some thoughts.


I noticed with a lot of people who change the way they as a phase or a fad it tends to be BAM! and the've completely changed and give it a couple of months and there back to the way they were.

With me it was availability as apposed to a turning point. When I was 15 I seen a sign for a new hairdressers offering to dye hair all sorts of funky colours so I was like ''Hey, that sounds pretty sweet''. everything else just went from there. I've never been angry or scary tho. tongue.gif

But about your initial question about does music change a persons personality I'd say yes, but not drastically, it can make you think more about about certain things etc

Posted by: Canis May 20 2008, 10:30 PM

QUOTE (Spreedmaster @ May 20 2008, 10:20 PM) *
But about your initial question about does music change a persons personality I'd say yes, but not drastically, it can make you think more about about certain things etc

Indeed! Before I discovered Gary Moore, I didn't have any opinions in music... Now I have houndred opinions on every single style of music tongue.gif
No idea why Gary Moore though, but that's when I started getting opinions tongue.gif

About your sister.. You don't mention how old she is, could it just be puberty kicking in? I'm a dude, but I went around irritated and lighter pissed during my early teens tongue.gif

Posted by: TreyDeschamp May 20 2008, 10:41 PM

Music DEFINATLY has an affect on people. When you listen to somethings you really like you get that feeling. Well I have a friend and I have seen pics of her when she was younger and she wore bright cloaths and now she shops at hot topic and stuff. Shes still nice and all but she has change but I ave noticed and her mom even told me that she is, day by day, growng out of it. I can't compare or say anything because I dont know her personally but you should talk to her and see whats up. Maybe ask her why she likes the music she listens to (Slipknot, Disturbed etc.)

Posted by: OrganisedConfusion May 20 2008, 10:47 PM

Music doesn't change people's personalities a great amount. It doesn't tend to make people angry. It just sounds like a normal teenager lol if she is a teenager? If not then that is a bit weird but if she is a teenager then she is bound to change and teenagers are angry people. It will settle and she will probably branch out musically and in later teen years and beyond she shouldn't be the angry sister you know now. Just try and be normal around her as well. Ask her what music she is liking lately and what not. Take an interest even if you're not interested in the music.


Posted by: fatb0t May 20 2008, 11:07 PM

Hm, awesome topic.

I'm a full fledged metal head, listen to it every day - go to shows, play it on guitar, wear black t shirts, head bang randomly hahaha. All my friends are metal heads, being a metal head is VERY different than listening to Disturbed or Slipknot. To true metal heads, those bands are considered almost nu metal.

Metal plays a role in my life but it doesn't define me.

Chances are your sister is pissed off and is looking to rebel looks like Hot Topic was her outlet....
Give it time, and try to make her happy best you can.

True metal heads are metal heads for life!

Posted by: Duncan May 20 2008, 11:09 PM

Sounds like a typical teenage girl to me.

Posted by: shellshock1911 May 20 2008, 11:21 PM

No. Her personality is changing all around due to her genetics and environment and listening to the music is part of her personality changes, not the other way around.

Posted by: rokchik May 20 2008, 11:42 PM

QUOTE (Old School Rocker @ May 20 2008, 04:31 PM) *
I ask for the Ladies in particular cause its about my Sister and i figure you may understand better but im not sure....I was also gonna post this in the ladies section but Guys arent supposed to start threads so this'l have to do.

Well im gonna give an example to help people answer this question.

My sister is now a very dark scary kinda girl not all freaky looking... just dark, she has the whole lip, eyebrow, ear pericing thing going on and she has black hair with red in it and pretty much wears only dark clothing and dark make-up, and anything dark looking she wants it.

Now about 2 years ago she was a pretty, bright, & happy girl who listened to normal music IMO (I'l get to the music part in a second) but now this i've noticed she listens to music like: Disturbed, Kalmah, Slipknot (those are the three I noticed the most) and any other band that screams isanely and seems to be hatefull or has the word Die or Death in at least one of there songs, basically its dark death metal stuff.

Yes i know there are some good metal bands, I dont like many but, back to the point. Now that my Sis has been Listening to all this her attitude has gone from nice happy person to angry mean girl who you probably whould'nt talk to. Its even started to affect the familly now every weekend I come home from colledge and there is a huge fight about something and it ends up being about her uncontrollable anger and I believe that it is because of this terrible, angry, dark music.

Now as for our familly life its great so I dont think thats the cause as for her social life its been relitvely good as well never the most popular but she never cared about all that she had the one good friend and that was plenty.

So what im trying to get at is I think that her anger and darkness is because of this music.

I know this is probably hard to answer but if you know somebody like this or you are like my sis any kind of feedback would help. As well as Id like everyone's oppinion whether or not you think music styles can change someones personallity.


Interesting topic man. But I have a couple of questions if you don't mind. First how old is your sis? and second has she changed friends lately?

We went through something similar with my sis when she was about 14 or so. She never got into metal as such but she went from typical" happy go lucky, way to chipper girly girl" to "don't look at her or she'll rip you a new one grunge girl" complete with a cigarette habit. My folks were constantly on edge and well we had some pretty big blow ups... even a nasty fight where I put her through wall but thats a story for another day. But anyways this turned out to be a phase more then anything else. She was hanging out with a different crowd and was trying to fit in and probably just trying to find herself. She changed her taste in music but it was more of a reflection of her new "self" then an influence though.

Without knowing your sis I'd almost say that she's just trying to find out who she is and maybe this music is reflecting some of what she feels. Teenagers are complicated and well teenage girls are impossible... I know as I was one smile.gif Maybe try to talk to her see if something deeper is going on, or even try to connect with her music and even throw some suggestions to her of stuff she may like. If you show her some commonality she may open up a bit. Just a suggestion though but it worked with my sis and we're that much closer now.

rok

Posted by: Spreedmaster May 20 2008, 11:47 PM

QUOTE (fatb0t @ May 20 2008, 11:07 PM) *
To true metal heads, those bands are considered almost nu metal.


Last time I checked those bands are nu metal. tongue.gif

Posted by: Duncan May 20 2008, 11:51 PM

My sister (who is now 22) was exactly the same at that age in terms of attitude. No she didn't listen to metal or dress like a goth or anything but she was always getting in to fights with my mum. My mum eventually threw her out when she was 18, and my sister was forced to live with neighbours. Now my sister has grown up a bit she gets on well with the rest of the family again.

I think it is just a teenage girl rebellion thing they all go through. Pfft, who'd be a girl?

Posted by: fatb0t May 20 2008, 11:54 PM

QUOTE (Spreedmaster @ May 20 2008, 06:47 PM) *
Last time I checked those bands are nu metal. tongue.gif


Yeah I wanted to say that, but then I might offend people on this forum. Some young cats on this page... I've made comments about bands before and got my self into some trouble... haha but yes you are right, those bands are compeletely nu metal.

Posted by: Spreedmaster May 20 2008, 11:55 PM

They should give females hormone restricting drugs before they hit puberty sleep.gif

Posted by: Old School Rocker May 21 2008, 12:02 AM

OK back from gym and school, and I already noticed that alot of people wanna know her age and yeah well i cant belive i forgot to mention but shes 17.
And yes she did meet this other girl, but shes never been one to hang out with a tonne of people just one other person, and yeah she met some other girl reasently, and yeah now that you mentioned it rok, this other girl is a huge snake freak and a dark individual but, if i remember right my sis was dark before she met her new friend so im not sure.

But thanks for all the response guys and girls.

I just hope that its a phase my sis is going thru.

Posted by: The Uncreator May 21 2008, 01:21 AM

QUOTE (Old School Rocker @ May 20 2008, 11:31 AM) *
I ask for the Ladies in particular cause its about my Sister and i figure you may understand better but im not sure....I was also gonna post this in the ladies section but Guys arent supposed to start threads so this'l have to do.

Well im gonna give an example to help people answer this question.

My sister is 17 and now a very dark scary kinda girl not all freaky looking... just dark, she has the whole lip, eyebrow, ear pericing thing going on and she has black hair with red in it and pretty much wears only dark clothing and dark make-up, and anything dark looking she wants it.

Now about 2 years ago she was a pretty, bright, & happy girl who listened to normal music IMO (I'l get to the music part in a second) but now this i've noticed she listens to music like: Disturbed, Kalmah, Slipknot (those are the three I noticed the most) and any other band that screams isanely and seems to be hatefull or has the word Die or Death in at least one of there songs, basically its dark death metal stuff.

Yes i know there are some good metal bands, I dont like many but, back to the point. Now that my Sis has been Listening to all this her attitude has gone from nice happy person to angry mean girl who you probably whould'nt talk to. Its even started to affect the familly now every weekend I come home from colledge and there is a huge fight about something and it ends up being about her uncontrollable anger and I believe that it is because of this terrible, angry, dark music.

Now as for our familly life its great so I dont think thats the cause as for her social life its been relitvely good as well never the most popular but she never cared about all that she had the one good friend and that was plenty.

So what im trying to get at is I think that her anger and darkness is because of this music.

I know this is probably hard to answer but if you know somebody like this or you are like my sis any kind of feedback would help. As well as Id like everyone's oppinion whether or not you think music styles can change someones personallity.


As odd as it may sound, She might be upset about something else, and looking to that 'dark' music for comfort. I listen to Kalmah, one of the bands you mentioned and its brought me nothing but happiness, People tend to look to this kinda stuff cause they feel its the only thing they can confide in, And that it understands them the most, Or at least, thats what it was for me. I felt that Metal (Which is "dark" to everyone else in my family and such) because it was the only thing that helped, And the only thing that actually did.

Try asking her if something is bothering her in anyway, Just try to talk. smile.gif

QUOTE (Spreedmaster @ May 20 2008, 02:47 PM) *
Last time I checked those bands are nu metal. tongue.gif


With the exception of Kalmah, Which is way more on the Melodic Death side, and no nu-metal in it.

Posted by: Zephyr May 21 2008, 01:38 AM

I personally think it's the other way around, people with that type of personality listen to music like that for the attention, and the "bad boy/girl" reputation that goes with it... not to say that everyone who listens to <insert genre here> is like that, or anything, but it seems that many think of music, not as something to enjoy listening to and appreciate, but a tool to gain popularity and establish their stereotype. I think this is partly due to ignorance, they only hear all the mainstream popular junk out there, and only listen to what others listen to. They never get a chance to hear real music, or to find what they like and dislike. This is especially true among teenagers, but I've seen it in older people, as well. It makes me die a little inside to see what music has become. sad.gif

On the other hand, once a person truly learns to hear and appreciate music, I think it does affect them - but in a positive way.

Posted by: Enucleation May 21 2008, 02:52 AM

I think this might be a phase a lot of metal fans go through.

When I was getting into metal I did the whole black clothing thing. It's for attention if anything I say. I don't think you have much to worry about, she will probably get over it. I think th real problem is the fact tat she's listening to Slipknot tongue.gif

I could be wrong but if it is like it was with me she'll do this for a while and eventually realize it's retarded. I don't think music has a lot to do with personality. I mean I'm a fan of Cannibal Corpse, Death, Necrophagist, Children of Bodom, and a lot of bands that deal with death, I at least like to think I'm a nice guy.

Maybe you should talk to her about it though. But I think it will fade.

Best of luck though and God bless.

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