Feel your heart race
Pounding through your chest
Never may you rest
I see sheer terror in your face
Run all you wish
I am the ruler of the night
You will never leave my sight
The reaper's scythe soon you shall kiss
Are you prepared to meet death
Your time is no longer delayed
Satan's price must be paid
His vindication never endeth
Heaven is not for your kind
Eternal agony is yours
That and nothing more
Your soul is mine
Solo
Blood hammers through your skull
The sun is near set
Soon I shall be your guest
Your pleas for salvation knull
Your run on and onward
An utter fool
By your fears ruled
My scythe is never far
Cold sweat drips from your brow
Night has fallen
A darker force has risen
The dying time is now
I am the harbinger of hades
A horseman of apocalypse
Upon you I shall bestow pestilence
Beg for mercy upon your knees
Solo/ tempo change
My scythe tears through your flesh
Your soul from body rips
Gaze your last upon this wretched world
You are Satan's now and forevermore
Solo
I am a harbinger of hades
a horseman of apoclolypse
Your soul my scythe shall rip
Tearing you to your knees
I am the lord of evil
Any soul I'll take
Out of pleasure or out of spite
I am the Shepherd of the Night
Ok, this is my first attempt to EVER write lyrics, so don't make fun of me too much. I really need some help from some of you expewrienced guys. ;)BTW, this is basically just an Angel of death type song.
The concept is cool, And the lyrics are a lot better than mine when i first started writing.
The only thing I think you need to focus is structuring of the verse, Most of them are fine, But sometimes it feels the thought is left hanging there, Like there is more to it.
Your run on and onward
An utter fool
By your fears ruled
My scythe is never far
To me this seems like it should be sung more like
You run on and onward, An utter fool
By your fears ruled, My scythe is never far
It seems like its only the first 2 lines of a 4 line verse (This is just me).
Last thing, It seems like you were trying a bit hard to get a rhyme scheme, If you want a rhyme scheme, try to let it come as naturally as possible, If you force it to come out, The meaning and image can easily be lost. (Not saying you did, I still see the concept of your story clearly)
But this is once again, Like you said, your first attempt to write lyrics, and they are far better than mine were when i started out, With time, i think this song will change a lot, and it will become even better
Thankyou so much; that really helps alot. I was really trying hard to rhyme, so I guess I'll just try to make it flow more. I can't believe that they are better than yours when you first started. Your like the lyrical genious.
question- do you think that a song has to have some kind of rhyming structure, or can it just be words that don't rhyme at all, but flow well?
OK, update. I tried just to make it flow alot better, so there really isn't much rhyming now, and any that is there is unintentional. Tell me if it's any better, worse, whatever
Feel your heart pound, echoing through your body
The hound of hell is upon your heels, never allowing you rest
Run all you wish, Satan never forgets who's his
Destruction looms ominously, soon I will be your guest
You run on and on, across woods, mountains, and deserts
I can't be so easily shaken, night fall is inevitable
And no mortal can outrun pure darkness, created by the lord of the grave
No mortal can hope to survive this darkness blacker than a moonless night
Are you prepared to meet death, your time is no longer delayed
Satan's price must be paid, his vindication shall be satisfied
Heaven is not for you, eternal agony is yours
Soon you shall kiss my scythe, soon your soul will be mine
Solo
Blood hammers through your skull, the sun has near set
Your pleas for salvation falling on deaf ears, you run on and on
You are an utter fule, by your fears ruled
Accept your fate, you can't run from night
Cold sweat drips from your brow, night has fallen
Your hopes are shattered, for a darker force has risen
The air grows cold, the shadow surrounds you
Your heart lurches in terror, as my touch sears your soul
I am the harbinger of hades, a horseman of apocalypse
An angel of darkness, Satan's right hand
First I will destroy your body, and then I will rape your mind
The seeds of your actions are being harvested, beg upon your knees
Solo/tempo change
My scythe scours through your flesh
Your soul from body rips
Gaze your last upon this wretched world
You are Satan's toy, now and forevermore
Solo
I am the harbinger of hades, a horseman of apocalypse
Your soul my scythe rips, tearing you to your knees
I am an angel of darknes, Satan's right hand
Damn heaven and the light, I am the shepherd of the night
© Stephen Vining
GREAT IMPROVEMENT!!
You are doing an awesome job
Thankyou
I'll upload more stuff once I come up with it, but it's slow in coming...
PS- no suggestions for improvement of any kind?
Not really, Its a nice straightforward metal tune
Maybe, more solos?
Powered by Invision Power Board (http://www.invisionboard.com)
© Invision Power Services (http://www.invisionpower.com)