I Have A New Song On Youtube!, Criticism |
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I Have A New Song On Youtube!, Criticism |
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Jan 12 2012, 11:42 AM |
Can I get some criticism on a song I recently wrote? I may expand on it a bit, as I really like the main chord progression. Be as harsh as necessary! I know the quality isn't the best, I recorded it with my iPhone 4S, but it is just a demo.
Thanks! -Nihil https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgJKJt8yS7Y...nel_video_title This post has been edited by Nihilist1: Jan 12 2012, 11:47 AM -------------------- All the elders have fallen down...
Heal her now... All the elders have fallen down... Heal her now... Grandfather elk Turned to me And spoke: Light the fire deep inside. Light the fires! |
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Jan 12 2012, 11:58 AM |
Like it very much!
The intro chords remind me of 'Pendelous Skin' by Mastodon. |
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Jan 12 2012, 03:34 PM |
Nice tune man! I love the intro arpeggios. It sounds so unique. I like the rhythm that you used in the strumming section but after some round I start to feel bored of the same rhythm all the time. I would change it in any part of at least make the section shorter. Also as Ben said, maybe the progression could be a bit less obvious for that sections.
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Jan 12 2012, 04:17 PM |
Very nice atmosphere with the arpeggios! Have you tried playing them with the click? Will the song be as it is (only acoustic)? I think it sounds very good. The arpeggio intro is great, but perhaps it's a bit too long, so you should definitely insert something in the second part. Don't be afraid to record another guitar or something, like a simple line, that already means a lot you know.
THe chord progression is great, and nice tone I think it sounds pretty good, but as the guys said a bit repetitive and too obvious. Try using unusual chord up the neck or something, or just record another layer of some reverb/delay two note licks that will top the chords, it can sound cool. Keep working on it, it's great so far. It's a very good idea that is worth experimenting with more -------------------- - Ivan's Video Chat Lesson Notes HERE
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Jan 12 2012, 08:35 PM |
I like the vibe it starts with, pretty dark,
I'd love to hear with a backing of drums and bass, do you plan on doing that? -------------------- Visit my:
INSTRUCTOR PROFILE "If a composer could say what he had to say in words he would not bother trying to say it in music." Gustav Mahler Subscribe to my Youtube Channel here |
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Jan 12 2012, 09:14 PM |
Sounds very good! I like it a lot!
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Jan 12 2012, 09:47 PM |
Ditto on the above - I would add as a personal preference, the intro is too long - if you are not going to introduce new elements as the intro goes into the third or fourth bar, by the time you reach the 8th bar, I've given up as a listener and reach for the dial. Perhaps you intend to add drums and bass, perhaps a complimenting guitar or some other instrument, but unless you do, I start to lose interest.
you need to add something after the first few bars to let me (the listener) know that the song is building into something as ominous as the chord suggests, so I should stay tuned to hear it! Even if it's only a single bell 'ting'! or the introduction of the sound of wind blowing or something to denote slow change. It's awesome you're posting videos of your early work. Something I need to find time to do myself! Keep posting - lots of potential there. Awesome! This post has been edited by SirJamsalot: Jan 12 2012, 09:53 PM -------------------- The more I practice, the more I wish I had time to practice!
My Band Forum: http://passionfly.site/chat |
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