Why Does Our Mojo Go?....., .....and how do we stop it? Options

[PosterBoy]

My ultimate goal, was to play Surfin With The Alien, and Always With Me Always With You, those two songs made me pick up the guitar. Now I realise I'll probably never come close. I'm purely a hobbyist, I wouldn't have courage to stand on stage. If I was skilled enough, my choice would be a session guitarist. Having said that, if I had the skills I might get up on stage.
You've actually made me wonder why I'm doing it now
Cheers
Phil

I think if you have a clear vision of what you want, you can look at what is needed to get there, see if that is realistic (time constraints etc) and then break it down in to sections and then into short term goals etc. Then again if you find your vision is just to enjoy playing the guitar then just don't be so hard on yourself and practice as much as you enjoy etc

I've gone through this cycle many many times, as I, just like you overthink, mainly negatively about myself and my progress.

Be happy where you are, but don't see it as the final destination.

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[Phil66]

I am trying to change my mindset mate, it's hard though.

Cheers

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[Todd Simpson]

I think you've hit on the answer It's probably the hardest thing to do IMHO, but it's worth doing. Learning how to change ones perceptions is not easy. Changing the way we think and thus changing everything that follows that is not easy. Just like guitar it takes time and practice to retrain your brain. Focus a bit more on what you have accomplished if possible. Watch some of your vids of you playing that are milestones, remind yourself that you have made progress and more is still coming. Don't get stuck on things, but see them as a speed bump that you can drive around and come back to later. The real point is to keep moving forward and be able to do so in a way that is enjoyable. That's the real goal and the bottom line.

I am trying to change my mindset mate, it's hard though.

Cheers

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[Phil66]

Thanks Todd

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[Todd Simpson]

Happy to help!!! Always FORWARD!!!

Todd

Thanks Todd

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[verciazghra]

Hi Phil.

I'd like to suggest a different approach to your problem.

So we all run into this right. We get stuck in a rut... lost in our stride... dazed and confused... etc. It's probably called something very specific in psychology but whatever it's name, I think we can agree that it's a circular phenomenon. Meaning it will come back. Peaks and valleys and all that jazz...

So what can we do about it?

Well the approach taken by most self-help books and what people generally say is "You have to become clear on what you want." and while I think there's nothing wrong with that advice I think it's questionable if this actually works for all people. I suggest that many of us would instead benefit from a simpler approach.

What happens when we try to dissect our wishes into their concrete components?

Well for one, we get a good idea of what we need to do to achieve each of the parts. If it's buying gear, practicing a certain scale, learning a new technique or anything else, we get a good idea what we need to do. If we were to follow the principles tought in books like "7 Habits of Highly Successful People" we'd be told to write down exactly what to do each day and evaluate our progress after every session. This turns into what Emil Werstler( of the bands Chimaira and Daath) calls Analysis Paralysis. This means, since we're now not only working on the things we want to achieve we're also constantly trying to rate our performance of how close we're getting to them.

Why could this potentially be bad?

Because it limits the amount of awareness we have available for actually focusing on learning the material. We become paralysed and everytime we make a mistake, we might start to analyse why we made the mistake. This becomes soulcrushing after a while, at least for me, because all I can think about is NOT TO MAKE MISTAKES. For some things, this might make sense, like when you're trying to get great 6-pack abs or learning a new language. Then yeah I can see the benefit because there aren't as many mistake-prone situations in those activities. But for guitar?

Well, if you can limit your self-criticism to specific moments when you're not playing. Then maybe it can be helpful. But it's much more useful to be kind toward yourself, yet honest. It's much more useful to try to have fun and get lost in an exercise, than it is having a list of 400 things that you have to get done. All that will do is take you out of the moment and make you stress about all those other things you need to do.

I'm sorry for making this so longwinded but I really think what I'm saying has merit. It might be more useful for you, to find a band, some people to interact with musically. Or just a guitar-buddy who you can trade playing backing vs melody/soloing with. People might not think about music that way anymore but it is a "language" and you're supposed to communicate with people through it. I think if you leave that out of it, you'll get an experience which ends up being filled with self-doubt, and performance anxiety.

Hope you see this as another angle and that nobody is offended that for me, the dominant advice seems to be the wrong one. I respect you all and don't want to trample anyones toes.

Nahmaste

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This post has been edited by verciazghra: Mar 31 2018, 09:28 PM

[klasaine]

Hope you see this as another angle and that nobody is offended that for me, the dominant advice seems to be the wrong one. I respect you all and don't want to trample anyones toes.

Nahmaste

Your entire post above is probably the best advice here.
What follows is just my story. This is not advice. Only an anecdote ...

I rarely ever adhered to a method or a regimen for very long and when I did, I was a lot younger and relatively speaking, I had all the time in the world. But I could only last 'in the regimen' for brief periods of time. Like maybe two weeks at best and then I had to apply it. Luckily I was always in bands (plural) and I was able to work out the kinks in real time in a real musical environment and atmosphere. Personally, I think that that's really the only way for most people in the field of music to improve and make it all 'natural'. In business, some of the other arts, single competitor athletics (track and field), etc. maybe you can and even have to set goals and track progress and all that stuff. But music is so amazingly vast, borderless, diverse and endless. Honestly, unless I need to learn how to do something for gig (money is a great motivator) or I want to improve on a technique that I need to achieve something I hear in my head ... I adhere to no method.

Having said all that, I think that the X or 'magic' factor that is in play (with me and most of the musicians I interact with) is that I love music and I love guitar. I have since I was a kid. The love and fascination with it all has not diminished in the least. I can still get lost in it for the entire day if no one or nothing stops me. I will absolutely lose all track of time. And I don't mean that metaphorically or symbolically. I lose track of everything. I won't even remember half of what I was playing or working on. I had to start writing stuff down or quickly record it if I liked it because it would lost to the ether if I didn't. I have notebooks going back years. Every so often I look through them. Most of it is shite. Some of it is decent. A tiny bit is gold.

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This post has been edited by klasaine: Apr 1 2018, 01:39 AM

[Phil66]

Thank you verciazghra, I appreciate your comments and please don't apologise for being longwinded, I prefer it to be thorough, also thank you for your input again Ken, nice one

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[Todd Simpson]

This is what is great about the forum Wads of varied thoughts and suggestions. Good bit of advice to choose from.

Goals themselves can sometimes be a hinderance to performance. As odd as that sounds. We each have to take this journey on our own in the end, and find our own path.

When who we are gets in the way of what we want, we have to become something new or give up on our desires. The ability to change and grow is perhaps the most valuable lesson of all. Being able to embrace a new way of thinking and being in order to overcome our own limitations.

It's obvious that you are making the effort to find your way, your path. It's often the willingness to keep searching that best serves us. Persistence is far more valuable than innate talent imho. As is patience.

Todd

Thank you verciazghra, I appreciate your comments and please don't apologise for being longwinded, I prefer it to be thorough, also thank you for your input again Ken, nice one

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[Phil66]

Thanks Todd,

We just have to keep on moving forward

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[Todd Simpson]

That is what I was hoping you'd take away from all this That's really the only answer that matters. Just keep moving forward.

Todd

Thanks Todd,

We just have to keep on moving forward

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