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Posted by: Ryan Nov 21 2008, 08:37 PM

This is my first song ive written before. So please bare with me Any advice is more than welcomed!!!


Lay your arms down
Its time to rise
With broken hearts
In disguise

Memories that we shared
There all so clear
Ill never forget
Why were here

You broke me down
You made me cry
This time now
You die inside


So say your goodbyes
Dont waste my time
You left me before
You returned to cry
No more chances
Those days have passed
So now, say your goodbyes


Remember how it was suppose to be
Just you and me
We were happy it seems

But you let me suffer
With a smile on your face
You broke our promise
What happened to them days

All the time we spent together
Sometimes i cared
All our love blinded
From hatred and fear

This all means nothing now
You wont understand
I dont care anymore
Throw your life down

Just let me be
Now, Im truely free


So say your goodbyes
Dont waste my time
You left me before
You returned to cry
No more chances
Those days have passed
So now, say your goodbyes


Take the pain
Now its yours
As days pass
Gone forever

Never to be
You and me
I died inside
Reborn over time

The days still pass
The world still turns
It wasnt easy
Closing my eyes

Letting go
Passing you by
Everday
Everynight

With all my heart
I say to you
Goodbye
I love you


So say your goodbyes
Dont waste my time
You left me before
You returned to cry
No more chances
Those days have passed

You were just to late
Now I want to hear
You saying
goodbyes

Posted by: Eat-Sleep-andJam Nov 21 2008, 11:05 PM

That was good Ryan

Little choppy here and there. ( Some poor word choices.)
But the picture was quite clear.
Very good first song


Was this about a break up ?

Posted by: Ryan Nov 22 2008, 05:44 AM

Thank you, Ill keep that in mind. And well it is about a break-up, but then again it isnt.

Its more about after the break-up. I went through the depression stage, and tried to get her back. Threw myself at her yeah know. She just kinda blew me off with this excuse and that excuse. Then after I got over her through my persanol rehab (a.k.a. drinking, drugs, partying). I knew me and her were best just being friends. She caught drift of me having a new girl. She ran back to me crying wanting me back. So it pissed me off after all that time she comes back wanting me. And me just tellin her no its over. (its time for her to start saying her goodbyes) So then I wrote the song, just keeping all that in mind.

Would you maybe enlighten me though on which words were of poor choice for future reference please?

Posted by: Vinod Saranga Nov 22 2008, 06:11 AM

I was little upset by the topic.

Then I got to know it's a song. 


Great first song mate.When I read it all are imagined infront of my eyes

Posted by: Ryan Nov 23 2008, 06:58 AM

QUOTE (Vinod Saranga @ Nov 21 2008, 11:11 PM)

I was little upset by the topic.

Then I got to know it's a song. 


Great first song mate.When I read it all are imagined infront of my eyes

Posted by: Nemanja Filipovic Nov 23 2008, 10:50 AM

General impression is very good.I like the storry,and I like direct lyrics in general.

p.s I stoped wrighting lyrics here,no reason,but for sure I am going to star know,so thanks for inspiration.

Posted by: Ryan Nov 26 2008, 02:44 AM

QUOTE (Nemanja Filipovic @ Nov 23 2008, 03:50 AM)

General impression is very good.I like the storry,and I like direct lyrics in general.

p.s I stoped wrighting lyrics here,no reason,but for sure I am going to star know,so thanks for inspiration.