101 Lesson: Foodpicking, There's only one way ..!
Steelkonsum
Feb 13 2007, 03:39 PM
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Posts: 246
Joined: 11-January 07
From: Malmo, Sweden
Hi and welcome to todays 101 Lesson!

Today we're gonna touch a relatively unknown area. In fact I might have just discovered it. FOODPICKING!

Now, first I wanna say that foodpicking has nothing to do with the guitar itself but it's a mandatory excersize for any guitarist! First thing you need to do is go shopping (probably).

here is the list of things you will need to complete this lesson:

Bread of your choosing
Butter
Cucumber
Lettuce
Metronome
Pastrami or ham
Cheese
Orange Juice


Read the list carefully, it is important to bring all of these things!

Okey now, here is the first tab:


e------------------------------------------------------------
B-----------------------------------------------------------
G-----------------------------------------------------------
D-----------------------------------------then pastramiiii-
A-------------------------then cheese----------------------
E-put-butter-on-bread--------------------------------------


Now watch the bend on the "utter" part as it is extremly important to do this right. Failure to execute perfectly results in a messy sandwich and noone wants that. Use just enough butter to create a flavor but not enough for a heartattack. Also make sure you realise that the hanging note is just to remind you that pastrami rocks.

Here's the next part:


e-----------w--p---------------------------------------a---n-------------
B--------o--------u---------------------------------s---------d------------
G-----n-------------t--the--------------------the---------------w---------
D----------------------------cucumber--on-----------------------ich~~
A--------------------------------------------------------------------------
E------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I know it's not tabbed out but its VITAL that you slice your cucumber before else it will require quite a few whole cucumbers which will sound aweful when you chew. Try to sweep pick where you can and then stricltly alternate picking where you can and add alot of vibrato on the last part for maximum tatse.

And here is the third part:

e---------------------------------------
B--------------------------------------
G--------------------------the---------
D---now--its-------------------lettuce--
A--------------time---------------------
E--------------------for-----------------



Quite an easy part but if you dont get this down right it just wont taste the same!

And the ending:

e--------------------------------------into----------------glass
B----------------orange--------------------------big-----------
G---pour-------------------------------------a------------------
D---------the------------------juice---------------------------
A---------------------------------------------------------------
E------------------------------------------------------------------


Here I've added some string skipping to make an otherwise boring task into an interesting ending. Remember to juice a BIG glass. You need those vitamins from the orange juice unless you wanna end up looking like skeletor. You need to be strong to wield an axe, and orange juice is the way to go.

Now, if you read the list carefully it mentioned a metronome. Now you might be thinking Im gonna tell you to practice all this to a metronome but you would be wrong! As you are preparing your food you're gonna count different things. Like 16th notes and triplets all the time. But, when you exit the kitchen don't forget to turn the metronome off and take it with you to avoid annoying your girlfriend/wife/mother/boyfriend/etc.

Also you need to STOP RIGHT AWAY if your boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/dad/mother/pet rock/neighbour starts looking at you because we can't allow the secrets of foodpicking to go to the infidels.


Cheers and thanks for reading all the way to the bottom biggrin.gif

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Andrew Cockburn
Feb 13 2007, 03:47 PM
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Hilarious laugh.gif

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ezravdb
Feb 13 2007, 04:06 PM
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I can clearly see you have lots of time to practice biggrin.gif

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Kristofer Dahl
Feb 13 2007, 04:53 PM
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biggrin.gif Steelkonsum's 101 tutorials beat the crap out of ours! sad.gif

wink.gif biggrin.gif

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Jeff
Feb 13 2007, 05:02 PM
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laugh.gif

Perhpas the metronome could be used to practice chewing at proper intervals - as not to disturb the digestion system.

This is a riot!

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Steelkonsum
Feb 13 2007, 09:35 PM
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Posts: 246
Joined: 11-January 07
From: Malmo, Sweden
Glad you guys liked it biggrin.gif

I didnt have anything to do while I was having my eat-break so I figured I could post something that might provoke a few laughs.

QUOTE (jeff @ Feb 13 2007, 05:02 PM) *
laugh.gif

Perhpas the metronome could be used to practice chewing at proper intervals - as not to disturb the digestion system.

This is a riot!


Good idea laugh.gif

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Robin
Feb 14 2007, 04:13 AM
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AHAHAHAH great! laugh.gif

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