New Song Feat. Keiko Takamura Any Feedback Welcomed! Options

[Todd Simpson]

i reunited with vocalist keiko takamura for this track. its the NIK KERSHAW tune I"ve been working on. I like her voice but I fear she may be a pinch flat or sharp in parts. What do you guys think?

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[klasaine]

The choruses are good but the verses are definitely pitchy - both sharp and flat in places.
What bugs me more though is that the 'feel' (rhythmically) isn't locked with the drum groove.

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[Todd Simpson]

I noticed that as well. I actually shifted all the vocal lines a bit as they sounded more off beat at first. I am not great with autotune so I'm going to ask a buddy of mine to help with it. I like her performance It's just got some issues that I hope I can fix. Thanks for checking it out!

The choruses are good but the verses are definitely pitchy - both sharp and flat in places.
What bugs me more though is that the 'feel' (rhythmically) isn't locked with the drum groove.

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[Todd Simpson]

I used some pitch correction on the main verses and I'm hoping it sorts thing a bit. Also heated up the drums a pinch. VERSION 2!!!

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[klasaine]

The second verse is sounding good but the 1st verse still has some issues.
Can you have her re-record - ?

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[Todd Simpson]

I have contacted her and asked her to re record the verses. It's a volunteer tour of duty so we shall see I've also asked a buddy of mine who auto tuned her last song that we did to try to work his magic on this one. i was able to fix some of the issues but as you mention, it still needs a good bit of work

The second verse is sounding good but the 1st verse still has some issues.
Can you have her re-record - ?

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[Phil66]

I can't pick up on the pitch issues but to me, on my system, it sounds quite bass heavy and the vocal is drowning in the mix most of the time.

Sorry to be so harsh

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[Timmez]

Hello todd.

Great to hear a song from you 😎
The guitar is nice in time and grooves well.
For me personally the vocals can be more upfront. I can hardly hear what she sings on the beginning. And i agree with the pitch and timing issues in the versies. The chorus is good.
And maybe glue it al some more together. ( easier to say then to do)

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[Todd Simpson]

I appreciate the honesty still a rough mix but that's why Im sharing it. Was trying to mix on my little presonus monitors but whatever monitors are bad at, mixes are too good at. So bass weak monitors yield bass heavy mixes. i was trying to hide the vocal mistakes a bit and probably went over board. thanks for the feedback!

I can't pick up on the pitch issues but to me, on my system, it sounds quite bass heavy and the vocal is drowning in the mix most of the time.

Sorry to be so harsh

thanks much! Some great feedback so far. It's all very similar which is good as it lets me know what the overall impression is so far. its' still a very early mix and I hope to have her re cut the vocals as i can't fix them enough.

Hello todd.

Great to hear a song from you 😎
The guitar is nice in time and grooves well.
For me personally the vocals can be more upfront. I can hardly hear what she sings on the beginning. And i agree with the pitch and timing issues in the versies. The chorus is good.
And maybe glue it al some more together. ( easier to say then to do)

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[Monica Gheorghev...]

First thing that I notice is the fact that she not express emotions while playing (everything sounds so linear) and don't articulate lyrics well. Unfortunately, this already down the overall performance.
To be honest....I think autotune can fix some issues but will never make miracles. I mean it can't make everyone a good singer.

You have right are many spots where are some pitch issues. As an example, for me that part from 3:45 -4:00 it sounds really, really bad.

I'm agree with Ken about that rhythmically feel. On chorus part it's a little better but on the verse part I have the feeling that are 2 songs played in the same time. Her style of phrasing really doesn't fit with the groove.

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[Todd Simpson]

I appreciate your honesty! Thats why i wanted you guys to have a listen You are spot on about auto tune. it can sort some pitch issues but it can't create a great performance. finding amazing singers is almost like winning the lottery.

I looked in to using FIVER for singers but the good ones charge an arm and a leg and the cheap ones are not very good. Serious thanks for you honest feedback!

First thing that I notice is the fact that she not express emotions while playing (everything sounds so linear) and don't articulate lyrics well. Unfortunately, this already down the overall performance.
To be honest....I think autotune can fix some issues but will never make miracles. I mean it can't make everyone a good singer.

You have right are many spots where are some pitch issues. As an example, for me that part from 3:45 -4:00 it sounds really, really bad.

I'm agree with Ken about that rhythmically feel. On chorus part it's a little better but on the verse part I have the feeling that are 2 songs played in the same time. Her style of phrasing really doesn't fit with the groove.

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[PosterBoy]

Like others have said the 1st verse phrasing/timing is off, unlike the 2nd verse. The words really need to hit right on the appropriate beat in a staccato way
This might be a result of doing the song faster than the original.

The I don't wanna be here no more is bugging me too, I think the 'I' is shorter and less emphasized in the original, I guess I have the original burnt into my brain since childhood, so it may not really matter

The last chorus harmony needs work on pitch as does the outro vocal

Fancy sending me the backing I'd love to have a crack at it, as part of my vocal practice

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[Todd Simpson]

Thanks for the feedback! I am having the same issue with hearing the original vocal in my head. I keep wanting a very similar performane as the choppy delivery in the original is what makes it work so well. Happy to shoot you the backing. If you would like to take a stab at the vocal id love to hear it!! we have tried a rock guy and then keiko so far.

 Wouldn_t_it_Be_Good_poster_boy.mp3 ( 8.12MB ) Number of downloads: 124

Like others have said the 1st verse phrasing/timing is off, unlike the 2nd verse. The words really need to hit right on the appropriate beat in a staccato way
This might be a result of doing the song faster than the original.

The I don't wanna be here no more is bugging me too, I think the 'I' is shorter and less emphasized in the original, I guess I have the original burnt into my brain since childhood, so it may not really matter

The last chorus harmony needs work on pitch as does the outro vocal

Fancy sending me the backing I'd love to have a crack at it, as part of my vocal practice

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[Victor Simion]

Hi,

I agree with the above feedback, some nice suggestions here.
What I would like to add for this song is:

What do you think about playing a small intro solo, nothing fancy, nothing shreddy, just adding a bit of melody to it?

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[Todd Simpson]

There are a couple of keyboard solos that are not in there yet so there are some large gaps! I had thought about doubling the keyboard with guitar. Then again, we could just replace it. thanks for checking it out

Hi,

I agree with the above feedback, some nice suggestions here.
What I would like to add for this song is:

What do you think about playing a small intro solo, nothing fancy, nothing shreddy, just adding a bit of melody to it?

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[Todd Simpson]

I've been working on the mix with everyones feedback in mind. I hadn't really done much to it before this. Just put the tracks in and waited for the vocal. I was hoping that my ears were just being pick with the pitch issues. Sadly, everyone can hear them plainly. We need to redo vocals.

This is just the instrumental track with changes from feedback. Let me know what you think

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[Monica Gheorghev...]

To be honest, it's really delightful to hear this song without the vocal part.

Now about the mixing. I think overall sounds good with no doubts. Are few things that I would personally change a little but now it depends what you want to get.
If you want to go more similar with the original and give that 1984 sound, then you are very close. The only thing that you would need is to up a little the sound for the synth. At this moment it's almost inaudible.

If you want to give a nowadays touch, I would change the sound of the drums. I mean, for my personal taste, I don't like how the premier snare drum sound, mostly when it's the moment when it must shine (0:44 -1:06; 1:46 -2:12). From my point of view, it sound a little annoying and somehow give a kind of too "fake" feeling (i hope this make sense for you).
As for the synth, I think it worth testing how this work with a little different sound. Also, putting the synth more audible in the mix it remain as a main need in any version you will choose (more close to original or going with a more nowadays sound).

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[Todd Simpson]

I do want to give it an 80s vibe for sure. I'm glad its heading that way There are several keyboard lead parts that have yet to be recorded. I wanted to focus more on guitars in this one than on keys but I don't want the keys to be buried so thanks for pointing that out.

I don't want the drums to be irritating for sure. is there too much compression on it?

To be honest, it's really delightful to hear this song without the vocal part.

Now about the mixing. I think overall sounds good with no doubts. Are few things that I would personally change a little but now it depends what you want to get.
If you want to go more similar with the original and give that 1984 sound, then you are very close. The only thing that you would need is to up a little the sound for the synth. At this moment it's almost inaudible.

If you want to give a nowadays touch, I would change the sound of the drums. I mean, for my personal taste, I don't like how the premier snare drum sound, mostly when it's the moment when it must shine (0:44 -1:06; 1:46 -2:12). From my point of view, it sound a little annoying and somehow give a kind of too "fake" feeling (i hope this make sense for you).
As for the synth, I think it worth testing how this work with a little different sound. Also, putting the synth more audible in the mix it remain as a main need in any version you will choose (more close to original or going with a more nowadays sound).

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[Monica Gheorghev...]

I do want to give it an 80s vibe for sure. I'm glad its heading that way There are several keyboard lead parts that have yet to be recorded. I wanted to focus more on guitars in this one than on keys but I don't want the keys to be buried so thanks for pointing that out.

I don't want the drums to be irritating for sure. is there too much compression on it?

Believe me, the 80' vibe it's the first thing that I noticed. Being this your main purpose, it's really awesome and you should be very proud. Also, the guitars sounds good to me in the mix.

Yes, I think it can work better with a little less amount of compression.

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[Todd Simpson]

Ive brought they keyboards more forward in the mix and given the drums a gated snare for an 80s phil collins vibe. Let me know if you think this is heading the right direction

To be honest, it's really delightful to hear this song without the vocal part.

Now about the mixing. I think overall sounds good with no doubts. Are few things that I would personally change a little but now it depends what you want to get.
If you want to go more similar with the original and give that 1984 sound, then you are very close. The only thing that you would need is to up a little the sound for the synth. At this moment it's almost inaudible.

If you want to give a nowadays touch, I would change the sound of the drums. I mean, for my personal taste, I don't like how the premier snare drum sound, mostly when it's the moment when it must shine (0:44 -1:06; 1:46 -2:12). From my point of view, it sound a little annoying and somehow give a kind of too "fake" feeling (i hope this make sense for you).
As for the synth, I think it worth testing how this work with a little different sound. Also, putting the synth more audible in the mix it remain as a main need in any version you will choose (more close to original or going with a more nowadays sound).

You are at GuitarMasterClass.net

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