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Posted by: Guitarman700 Mar 1 2008, 01:39 AM

hello. my name is Colin and i am 17. this is a cry for help. to understand what is wrong, i need to tell you about myself. i have attention deficit disorder, which makes it VERY hard to concentrate. i also have obsessive compulsive disorder. i may also have a learning disorder. the last few years, i have been home schooled. this is the best thing that ever happened to me, as it gave me the time to pick up a guitar. it also got me out of an abusive school environment. the last two years, i have been studying for my diploma. unfortunately, i cannot seem to study effectively. i also feel no motivation to do anything at all. i know i should, but, its just not there. my guitar playing has suffered, as ive never been able to learn a song. ive tried for months, just on one song, but i can never get it. i feel hopeless, and it feels like my life is falling apart.

i need help.

Posted by: Owen Mar 1 2008, 02:12 AM

How are you doing with friends etc?

Do you see them a lot or has the home schooling cut you off slightly?

I've suffered from most of those problems, asides from the ADD etc, been punched, kicked made fun off, sure its made me a bit bitter at times and wondered why I bother - thinking like that usually crushes you're self esteem. I'm not really a 'happy' person, but I like to think I can change what it is I dont like about myself if I really want to.

But yeah, when I find I'm left in a situation where I can do what I want ie outside a structured environment - I usually end up being a bit of a lazy SoB, I havent learnt a full song on guitar yet either - in 3 years. Doesnt bother me though, I always look forward to tomorrow, despite all the pressure I have to achieve and find my niché in the world.

If you feel hopeless you just have to go out and change things, push boundaries and set strict goals for what you want to achieve, recently I've done this and I find myself cheering up no end.

As the saying goes; "Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for."

Guitar fulfills one of those things but I think you need to find yourself the other two

Posted by: fatb0t Mar 1 2008, 02:16 AM

Hey man,
Just never give up
Try to learn some theory, I could never remember songs well myself. Try to just create your own music. Stick in there buddy, everything works out in the end...

Posted by: Resurrection Mar 1 2008, 02:16 AM

Colin, I have to ask if you're getting any practical help with what are, after all, medical issues. Attention deficit disorder is not something I'm that familiar, but I have been treated for obsessive compulsive disorder, so I can appreciate some aspects of how you feel. The problems with motivation and lack of self worth are very characteristic of that particular condition.

Feel free to PM me if you want to talk more about this. Don't despair, you can get through this.

Posted by: Guitarman700 Mar 1 2008, 03:01 AM

@ owen; my friends dont seem to want to hang out anymore. (all 2 of them ) the home schooling has helped me in many ways, i feel more self confident, and i dont come home crying everyday.
@ resurrection; yes, i am seeing a doctor, but we only just got in the first time last month.
thanks for your support, i will try to talk to my doctor about this. i just need support to keep going.

Posted by: albino Mar 1 2008, 03:13 AM

Firstly, well done for being open and brave enough to admit to your life's big problems. This is the first step towards getting help; admitting your need.
Secondly, you have a superb resource, the web, to seek answers to these things when it is too hard to talk to people who find these conditions hard to understand, or to get suitable advice when these things cause distress [often after doctor's visiting hours!!] But you must seek help after from professionals who can put you on a helpful course of improvement.
Maybe start with some good web resources to inform and educate yourself on the conditions; sometimes we can feel hopeless and looking through the web info we can see that there is treatment available; there IS hope. You may feel alone in your troubles right now but the more you read the more you put to rest false ideas. Knowledge is power.
Some sites have excellent testimonies from past sufferers who felt hopeless but have come through to a better life. These inspire us with hope. Maybe there is a local group of fellow sufferers of some of these conditions who meet with knowledgeable supervisors/group leaders. This can be a fantastic way to address your worst worries in a supportive non-judgmental atmosphere. Who knows what great help you can find? But you must start looking. Even starting this simple step means you are taking positive steps to gain help and you feel more hopeful and empowered.
Keep talking to professional people who are trained to diagnose and advise on conditions. Sometimes you can talk to people and they mean well, but their advice may not be so great. People with bad depression are sometimes made to feel worse by their well-meaning friends and relatives when they say things like "Cheer up, things aren't that bad. Go and have a good night out." The depressed person is INCAPABLE of getting out of their depression by 'pulling themselves together' and need better advice.
Anyway, here are a few web links to begin to explore [some are Australian but it doesn't matter; the advice may still be a good start]...

http://www.ocdcentre.com/?gclid=CJjHqbjn6pECFQsUiQodBVwrow

http://www.anxietyaustralia.com.au/anxiety_disorders/ocd.shtml

http://www.beyondblue.org.au/index.aspx?link_id=&gclid=CN7dsMjo6pECFQNZiAodgmxpqw

Hope that you move into the next phase of your management of your problems. You are already on the road by admitting your need. All the best.

Posted by: Resurrection Mar 1 2008, 03:33 AM

Doctors are great, but ultimately they can only point you to techniques that you need to apply in your life. The fact that you're asking (and want to get) help is a really positive start. The fact that your school environment has been bad really hasn't helped, but I think you can overcome that.

Some important lessons that I've learned in trying to deal with obsessive compulsive disorder in particular are
1) Working out where my personal responsibility starts and finishes
2) Learning to enjoy small achievements, even if they are not perfect and even if there's still a long way to go
3) Accepting that I can have irrational thoughts and, rather than fighting them, accept them but choose not to let them bother me.

These ideas have helped me a lot, but everyone needs to find their own way. You sound like you will find yours. Don't forget the positive power of music in all this. The playing and studying of music can be really helpful in making sense of your life

Posted by: Wallimann Mar 1 2008, 04:46 AM

I have a very hard time memorizing songs too. You should get into improv maybe?

Posted by: Goliath Mar 1 2008, 04:51 AM

It sounds like you need to get to know yourself a bit better. You know you have all of these problems because people have told you you have them. What are your strengths? How can you use your strengths to overcome your weaknesses? Are you externally motivated? If so, tie in your GAS to your schooling. When you complete a semester worth of work, etc, you can finally reward yourself with whatever the bit of gear you've been wanting is.

As for songs, set the bar low. Think of a song you like that's not overly complicated. Now don't learn the song, learn the individual riffs that comprise it. Learn a new riff when you've mastered the previous riff. Don't play them in sequence, but keep them fresh playing the previously mastered riffs every other day or so. Eventually, you'll have a whole song learned. Pick a song like "For Whom the Bell Tolls" and go from there.

Knowing what motivates you and being able to get things done when you need to should help.

Posted by: SLASH91 Mar 1 2008, 06:26 AM

Wow, I can't believe that there's actually another homeschooled guy on here. That's right I am too.

As far as the friends go, I've never had the desire to always see my friends every single day, so homeschooling had never been a problem for me, and it sounds like it's helping you too. As far as friends go though, just go places, meet new people, get in a band with other beginning muscisians. EVery one else has already suggested stuff about learning guitar, so I'll just leave it at that.

Posted by: mattacuk Mar 1 2008, 09:10 AM

Something which MIGHT help, is good old fashion Omega 3 fish oil. I have been taking Omega 3 fish oil for years now purley for the health benifits It improves concentration , memory and learning - and does a very good job at it too.

The basic building blocks of our brain are made up from fatty acids,contained in these fish oils! I have noticed a much improved memory, and cogntive thinking since taking them. My test score for my course recently was a whopping 95% which i was quite proud off.

Of course fish oil is just a vitamin, and no magic pill. I have been takeing them with a multi vitamin for a number of years and I would always carry on doing so just for good health

This could be a natural approach to makeing a positive step for your future

Here is a link to a good manufacturers website ; http://www.equazen.com/default.aspx?pid=23


Maybe talk to your doctor about general nutrition and vitamin suppliments. I can tell that diet really can have a positive impact on your health

Posted by: Trond Vold Mar 1 2008, 10:00 AM

Sorry to hear about your problems..

I do know what your going trough though.. I dont have ADD, but i do have OCD ontop of some at times crippling anxiety issues. Caused me to to homeschooling aswell.

Might not seem as much help, but things do get better, then maybe they get worse again.. then better again etc.
And your still very young.. you got plenty of time to finish school and practice guitar

Posted by: Muris Mar 1 2008, 12:09 PM

Chin up buddy and never look back,
be sure that you'll always have all support you need from HERE,
time heals everything...and fixes many things in life.
Just do what makes you happy to overcome this heavy part of your life.
I guess that'd be playing my friend.

Posted by: Milenkovic Ivan Mar 1 2008, 05:01 PM

Look at it this way - remember how 3-4 years ago your views on life were totally different? Some goals seemed so far away, and look at you now, you play a guitar, go to school, on your way to get that dimploma - that's a great accomplishment, and all your problems in the past seem so far away and irelevant now right?

And if you can only imagine what would you think about all the things that are happening in 2-3 years from now on? They will look small and irrelevant then too! The point of the story is that your problems now are maybe big if you think of them as big. If that is the case, you can make that change, you can make yourself happy again. Of course difficult times in life takes tim, and it may pass another year or two before you finally manage to make all your problems go away, but it will definitely make you a better person then, a person who is learned by all the hard experience it had in younger days. You have 17 years, those are tupicaly the years when everybody have problems and issues, it is simply the way people are made, our brains are developing heavily and we start to think diferently etc.

So don't be so scared and sad my friend, it will all be OK, practice the guitar, learn the school, and everything else will come before you even notice it.

Posted by: MickeM Mar 1 2008, 05:30 PM

See your Doctors about it. For problems like this it takes correct adjustment of environment or medication.

I think you should strongly demand your doctor to find a medical solution. It's as sad as it is true but it's not unlikely that people with ADHD or other similar disorders will find other efficient means for self treatment which leads to drug abuse, a life of crime and prison. The self treatment is amphetamin (an up) that helps summon impressions and thoughts for a while. The big idea is that the dose should be stable, self treaters will increase the dose and that's where it goes wrong.
That's only the short sum up but

A Dr who knows his business will know this and suggest the correct medecine for you. Search until you find one!