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> Unbroken, A thrash/power metal number
Goliath
post Feb 21 2008, 03:53 PM
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This is a bit of a call and response deal, the bolded lyrics are sung by the whole band, with the main vocalist singing the normal text. Rapid tempo, the drum would playing an almost galloping lick through the verse, into blast beats during the bridge, into more traditional rhythm during the chorus w/ lots of snare and cymbal. I listened to Judas Priest on the way to work today and figured I'd have a go tongue.gif just wrote this in about 20 minutes.


WE RIDE galloping hard across the plain
TO ARMS for our fallen brothers we ride
TO ARMS this night our steel, their flesh collide
WE RIDE Vindication shall be our calling

bridge
We set forth, driven by pain into the night
We set forth, the embers of loss fade with twilight

chorus
WE CARRY ON FOREVER
We ride for we have lost our home
OUR WILL IS STEELED, YIELDING NEVER
Seeking vengeance shall we ever roam
Our resolve is... UNBROKEN [ shouted by the main vocalist unaccompanied, the ellipsis is lead in with a lot of ride/snare work, once the "UNBROKEN" is shouted the rest of the song resumes w/ the drums leading it in w/ generous tom work]

TONIGHT we rip into their encampment
FOR PRIDE blade meets bone with brute power
FOR PRIDE bodies pile up by the hour
TONIGHT from now until forever... Ruiner my name

bridge
Chorus
Guitar break/solo
Bridge
Chorus

UNBROKEN
UNBROKEN


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SLASH91
post Feb 21 2008, 04:05 PM
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I like it, reminds me of The Trooper by Iron Maiden. smile.gif

It seems like it could maybe do with one more verse though. wink.gif

This post has been edited by SLASH91: Feb 21 2008, 04:05 PM


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Goliath
post Feb 21 2008, 05:03 PM
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Yeah, I thought about a third verse, but then I'm afraid it'd risk being too long unless I wanted to make it proggier. I had "Creeping Death" (metallica) and "Time What is Time" (blind guardian) in mind. I didn't want it to be a vocal driven song. I wanted the lyrics to kind of set up a frame of violence and aggression so the guitars could take it away in the break/solo then kind of bring it back together at the end. Plus with a theme as aggressive as this, I felt like more lyrics would kind of cheapen it's intensity.


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The Uncreator
post Feb 21 2008, 06:28 PM
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Very cool song, and this is without a doubt, an awesome thrash tune, have any riffs recorded for it?
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Owen
post Feb 21 2008, 06:58 PM
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You've got some good ideas but I feel but at the end of the day I found it just a bit cliché, I mean writing about epic battles is one thing but there's not much in the way of background and the idea itself is nothing new, bit worn out if anything.

Sorry, your obviously a pretty good writer, it'd just be nice to see something fresh and original smile.gif

This post has been edited by Owen: Feb 21 2008, 07:00 PM


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Goliath
post Feb 21 2008, 07:53 PM
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Yeah it was meant to be cliched really though, as all power metal is pretty cliche. I suppose to get really interesting it would have to be a concept album where there wouldn't need to be too much development in each song. That might be a worthy undertaking, actually. My problem is I try to think of the song all at once to get the cadence. Once I did start making headway I scaled it back to thinking more poetic, making sure each line was metered, develop somewhat of a rhyme scheme. The really difficult part was coming up with a chorus because I felt like I needed to be able to come up with a hook/melody before I could put words to it. I'm going to try to do more in an effort to bolster my song writing ability. I do appreciate the feedback.

@ Uncreator:

No, but I kind of came up with some as I was writing. When I get a free minute later tonight/this weekend I'll see if I can lay them down in reaper. I don't have any drum software so I'll probably just play a click track of scratching over the low three strings. I'm not great at writing leads but I think I can definitely lay down rhythm work and maybe simple fills over it.

This post has been edited by Goliath: Feb 21 2008, 07:57 PM


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