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> Help With Decision To Quit Or Not, Andrew's Idea :)
OrganisedConfusi...
post Feb 26 2008, 02:59 PM
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I know it's a difficult choice whether to sell all my guitars or not but I think it is for the best. I put up my guitars in Classifieds but just need to sort out the layout before they are accepted. Andrew thought it might be a good idea to say the reasons why I want to quit to see if anyone else has similar experience.

Reason 1: I have been in the same band for 4 years now and we aren't going anywhere. We've been trying to find a bassist for a few years now and we've been recording songs mainly that I have written and I don't think my songs are good enough sad.gif Also I write every bit of the songs which is very stressful and I'm useless at organising gigs. We love playing gigs but we only have about 3 gigs a year and it's getting to the point where it just isn't worth the bother as I'm not enjoying the band anymore and I want to be giging every other week at least as we have enough songs and covers to do.

Reason 2: I've been playing guitar for 5 years and I was self taught until recently when I started getting lessons off of David C Bond off of the forums. He is an amazing guitarist and a great teacher who always prepares well for every lesson and links everything together so well but I never seem to have time to practice what he is teaching me and it gets me down because I want to get better at what he is showing me but it's difficult to find the time so I never improve and I hold my pick wrong apparently but like many I still can't get my head around what is the correct way.

Reason 3: I'm useless on guitar. My downpicking is so slow I can barely play anything downpicked. I struggle at playing any song. I can;t even play Paranoid fast enough down picked sad.gif I don't know where I'm going wrong and if I'm even good enough to continue.

I love listening to music and at one time when I was happy with myself and life I really loved guitar. Now I am miserable all the time and never feel like playing and I really need to sort my life out otherwise I'm just gonna drive myself insane or worse sad.gif My opinion of my self is so bad and I think I'm an ugly piece of s*** that is a loser and just does the same process every day and never changes. I only have about 3 friends and I rarely go out sad.gif

Please help me. But I'm going to put my guitars up for sale I think. What do you guys think. I hope you can offer advice as it may help me to find the problem area. sad.gif

Cheers everybody smile.gif


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kaznie_NL
post Feb 26 2008, 03:08 PM
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I think you should keep the guitar with the best memory, maybe the first one? Then you can still play, or just use it as a nice memory! I'd say, just stay on the guitar thingie, maybe search a new band or try to get a nice "one last" gig. Ater that big gig you can see if you want to go on with it!


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audiopaal
post Feb 26 2008, 03:11 PM
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No man, don't quit.
I've had times when I didn't want to play anymore, and I did what you're thinking of.
I sold everything I had besides my first guitar (which I put in the closet) and I regretted my ass of in just a little while and I felt really stupid as I had to save up a lot of money just to buy new equipment..

But I'm back on track and I'm having fun as hell now smile.gif

Sleep on it man, I don't think you want to do this. I'm not the greatest player but man am I having fun.
There will always be hard times but in the end they'll only make you stronger smile.gif

Keep it up man, you know you love it.. Sometimes it's easy to forget that..

And besides, you know you're gonna miss us all if decide to leave it all now wink.gif

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OrganisedConfusi...
post Feb 26 2008, 03:11 PM
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QUOTE (kaznie_NL @ Feb 26 2008, 02:08 PM) *
I think you should keep the guitar with the best memory, maybe the first one? Then you can still play, or just use it as a nice memory! I'd say, just stay on the guitar thingie, maybe search a new band or try to get a nice "one last" gig. Ater that big gig you can see if you want to go on with it!

I was stupid and sold my first ever guitar sad.gif What a fool I am.


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Duncan
post Feb 26 2008, 03:20 PM
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If you don't enjoy the band anymore, leave it. Search for a new band. ALWAYS keep a guitar though. Even if you think you are crap, it is always nice when you're a little bit stressed to pick it up and play some tunes. I've been playing for nearly four years now and I haven't really written anything, apart from a few simple things. The way I see it, I want to get my technique as good as possible before I start to write anything.

It seems like you've got to the stage where playing guitar is a chore. You need to make it fun again. Jam along to some easy songs you like, sit outside in the sun strumming. Anything that makes you realise that selling all your guitars would be a huge mistake.
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Guitarman700
post Feb 26 2008, 03:21 PM
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QUOTE (OrganisedConfusion @ Feb 26 2008, 09:11 AM) *
I was stupid and sold my first ever guitar sad.gif What a fool I am.

Ive sold 3 guitars i miss; 1: Jackson king v 2:my first guitar, a squier strat i customized to look just like david gilmours black strat. and 3: a $1000 dollar washburn 7 string. do i regret it? yes i do, but i realized that sometimes you make bad decisions in life, and you have to move on. youve seen the gear i have now, ide say im pretty well off. you sound like youve got some great guitars too man, it would be a shame to give up now. sad.gif
Edit: duncan is right. ive felt like playing was a chore alot, but you just have to make yourself keep going, it will all work out eventually.

This post has been edited by Guitarman700: Feb 26 2008, 03:22 PM


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JWBauer
post Feb 26 2008, 03:32 PM
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I agree with everyone else. Keep at least one guitar or you may regret it later. I have been playing on and off for about 30 years now. I am not the greatest in the world but really enjoy playing. It helps me to relax and gives me opportunity to reflect. About 6 years ago I put everything I owned into a storage unit and moved to Florida. The storage unit burned and unfortunately my guitar was in there. Three years later I bought another guitar and realized how much I missed it even yhough I only played once or twice a month. Now I try to play a little every day. So don't sell everything and don't quit completely.


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Goliath
post Feb 26 2008, 03:41 PM
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I respect you Organized and that's why I'm not going to give you the pat on the back it sounds like you're soliciting.

First thing's first: Keep your gear. If you're as miserable as you say, you'll still be miserable, but with a little more money and no guitars. Then you won't have a forum to poke around on throughout the day because what good is coming to GMC if you don't have a guitar?

Second, happiness is an attitude. You can decide to be happy. Everything you're complaining about YOU have the control to fix. If you're "ugly", have a couple runs, hit the gym a couple days a week, at least get in decent shape, start dressing better, get a new/better haircut and immediately you'll be a couple clicks higher in a matter of months. Only having 3 friends and rarely going out is a decision you've made. You can always make more friends and start going out more, nothing is stopping you.

You can be as happy as you make up your mind to be and it all starts by ditching that "victim" mentality. We've all got the cards that we've been dealt, now make the most of them.


If nothing else, and you truly are miserable, then think about down the line if you decide you want to get back into guitar and don't have any gear. Now you'll just be bringing more misery on yourself. Sleep on it at the very least.

EDIT: And Metallica wrote "Fade to Black" after all of their gear was stolen after a show and in my opinion it's one of the best songs they've written. Use this darkness settled over you as inspiration and maybe you can write some truly incredible music.

This post has been edited by Goliath: Feb 26 2008, 03:43 PM


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OrganisedConfusi...
post Feb 26 2008, 03:45 PM
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This isn't a rash decision by the way. It has been on my mind a very long time. I used to love going on stage and jumping around when I was in a 3 person band of drums, bass and guitar. Now we have 6 members I kind of lost interest a bit as I don't get to mess around and jump around as much anymore. I don't want a pat on the back as that just wont help. What I need is some advice on how I can pump some more excitement into my music playing and get back to a few years ago when I loved picking up the guitar infront of people.

I don't need a haircut as my hair is leaving of its own accord lol tongue.gif


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kyldeee
post Feb 26 2008, 03:46 PM
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Don't quit mate, I know how you feel... My life is sh*t, but the guitar is the only thing that keeps me getting out of the bed...
I've broked 5 mirrors from my house, because I can't stand the way I look, I'd rather stay at home than go out with my friends and show my face, and when I do I always feel uncomfortable and embarrased, so I rather just sit home and play some guitar or listen to some music... If you do decide to quit, I suggest you left at least one guitar to remember the good times smile.gif

All the best

-T



This post has been edited by kyldeee: Feb 26 2008, 03:49 PM


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OrganisedConfusi...
post Feb 26 2008, 03:48 PM
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QUOTE (kyldeee @ Feb 26 2008, 02:46 PM) *
Don't quit mate, I know how you feel... My life is sh*t, but the guitar is the only thing that keeps me getting out of the bed...
I've broked 5 mirrors from my house, because I can't stand the way I look, I'd rather stay at home than go out with my friends and show my face, and when I do I always feel uncomfortable and embarrased, so I rather just sit home and play some guitar or listen to some music... If you do decide to quit, I suggest you left at least one guitar to remember the good times smile.gif

All the best

-T

You sound like you're writing from inside my brain lol. I have problems with myself for sure. I've met a few new friends lately who ask us round a few times smile.gif It's cool but when you walk down the street and have people laughing in your face it kind of makes you down. I don't have one mirror in the house.


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kyldeee
post Feb 26 2008, 03:52 PM
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QUOTE (OrganisedConfusion @ Feb 26 2008, 04:48 PM) *
You sound like you're writing from inside my brain lol. I have problems with myself for sure. I've met a few new friends lately who ask us round a few times smile.gif It's cool but when you walk down the street and have people laughing in your face it kind of makes you down. I don't have one mirror in the house.


Yeah, I always feel, when I'm walking somewhere, that people are staring at me and whispering to each other, laughing and saying all these bad things, and it really makes me sad...


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kaznie_NL
post Feb 26 2008, 03:57 PM
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Maybe you should go and see a doctor or psychiatrist. I know it sounds very heavy, but phychiatrist are even for people who have problems with being shy or other little things. If you're down (and you sound like that, reading your other posts as well) just talk with one of those specialist or talk with some one else, just talk to someone who can make you feel better. Girlfriend, parents or a profesional. And remember, it's all in your hands, you're the one who can make you get out of this whole dip! And mate...don't say you're a victim Like Goliath said, make the best of the cards you've been dealed!

g'd luck!!

BTW..please smile when you read this, it'll make you feel better! tongue.gif


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SLASH91
post Feb 26 2008, 03:58 PM
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QUOTE (Goliath @ Feb 26 2008, 08:41 AM) *
EDIT: And Metallica wrote "Fade to Black" after all of their gear was stolen after a show and in my opinion it's one of the best songs they've written. Use this darkness settled over you as inspiration and maybe you can write some truly incredible music.


+1

I know it sounds weird, but I always come up with lyrics or music whenever I'm really depressed or angry. Don't know why, but use this to your advantage.

As far as the band goes, leave it if your not having any fun. If the other guys won't help plan gigs or write any songs, find some people who will.

F*** people who laugh at you because of the way you look. It's just because they're too insecure with themselves. wink.gif

And if you do quit, which I highly recommend that you don't, at least keep an acoustic guitar that you can play whenever your feeling down.


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purple hayes
post Feb 26 2008, 03:59 PM
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If I were you, I might sell all but one guitar and kind of start over. Maybe try a style of music that would be new to you.

/I'd probably leave the band, too.


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Guitarman700
post Feb 26 2008, 04:00 PM
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QUOTE (OrganisedConfusion @ Feb 26 2008, 09:48 AM) *
You sound like you're writing from inside my brain lol. I have problems with myself for sure. I've met a few new friends lately who ask us round a few times smile.gif It's cool but when you walk down the street and have people laughing in your face it kind of makes you down. I don't have one mirror in the house.

Seriously, if someone just laughed at me while i was walking down the street, they would be crawling home.thankfully most people around here keep to themselves, but im still convinced about 75% of the human population are complete mindless idiots.
Edit: im not happy with the way i look either, i need a haircut and i need to lose alot of weight, but dont get down on yourself, theres no reason for that.

This post has been edited by Guitarman700: Feb 26 2008, 04:02 PM


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Pavel
post Feb 26 2008, 04:07 PM
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Usually when i feel like crap i play some FPS online, shoot for a few hours and feel better straight away. Today i did 2 new backing tracks for 2 new lessons i'll record this week and right now i'm supposed to go to practice - well, guess what? I don't want to practice. I'm falling asleep and i feel too lazy to play. I don't want to play guitar at all - the weather sucks here - it's all round fog and rainy. I'm refreshing the same websites for 500 times a minute hoping to see something new, any new reply, any new topic to participate in...

I just know that in a few days i'll be at my best with practicing again! These are the periods in life you just have to get over.

I have 2 exams coming in 2 weeks and i haven't even start studying, my parents divorced 2 weeks ago, my RC7 is coming in MAY!! OMG - 3 more months of waiting!!! And i still need 1400$ to pay it off.

Sometimes it looks like it's only your's life that is like shit - but it's not. It's shit all over the world so cheer up! Go out with your friends. I don't go out often - but even 2 hours of a walk around with your friend can bring your mood back.

And finally - no reason to quit guitar! At least not to sell all your stuff! Just give it a 1 month break but don't sell it! smile.gif

EDIT: i had a band and i quit because it was irritating me. No one ever wanted to practice so i moved on in my room on my own! And that brought me to GMC so just quit the band and continue playing at home smile.gif

This post has been edited by Pavel: Feb 26 2008, 04:08 PM


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SLASH91
post Feb 26 2008, 04:09 PM
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BTW, dude, I saw your picture in that one thread where everyone was posting their pictures, and you didn't look like crap. You look just like a good ol' metal head biggrin.gif cool.gif


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Goliath
post Feb 26 2008, 04:14 PM
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haha then take the road of Vin Diesel if you must and it bothers you, beat your hair to the punch tongue.gif


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DeepRoots
post Feb 26 2008, 04:14 PM
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It sounds like you want to take a break from things- perhaps something like a month away from the band, guitar (and GMC <sorry guys wink.gif> )

Listen to music - chill out and get back in touch with yourself. Realise everything you want out of life and which direction (if any) you want to go in.

Hopefully after a nice long break you can either pik up where you left off or just realise you were happier in the month without it.

(This is a 30 day trial experiment Steve pavlina from http://www.stevepavlina.com/ does a fair bit of- has helped me out a few times smile.gif )

heres a bit about 30 day trials> http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2005/04/30-days-to-success/

SO just chill out a bit- you sound quite upset at the moment so just look after yourself, stay healthy and treat yourself with the little things you enjoy.

remember guitar should be enjoyed- if you no longer enjoy it- then get the hell out of there!

however- i hope you stay, guitar is a great hobby and im sure you'll see improvements soon (iv hit soo many walls in my playing). Remember it takes the smallest thing to boost your confidence in your playing- until the LOTD competition iv never contributed to the recording side of this site from fear of being called bad and being laughed at- the fact that iv got more than one vote (that one vote being my own) really has meant the world to me, that people have enjoyed something i made...now im practsing harder than ever smile.gif

This is ofcourse something you have to decide- even if you decide to take a break (could even be a 10 year break! ) you can always pick up a guitar again and carry on your journey.

Good Luck- i hope your feeling a bit better about the big picture soon smile.gif
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