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> Guitar Practicing Problem..., from an unlikely source.
Guitar1969
post Oct 17 2008, 10:31 PM
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QUOTE (fatb0t @ Oct 17 2008, 09:02 AM) *
So I'm 22, work full time and I have a girlfriend. Now just about every second I get to myself I like to play guitar.

Now I make time for the girlfriend of course, and I talk to her throughout the day; while I'm going to work, at work, on lunch, when I get off work hahah . She comes out and stays at my house during the weekends and stuff. I feel I talk to her an adaquate amount...

Anyways, lately I've been having a lot of problems with her, here is why... Whenever I play guitar and she's over my house she thinks I'm not "paying attention" to her. She lives far away so I only see her maybe twice a week. So I usually won't play if she's around to avoid this conflict.

However when I'm home and jamming (and she isn't with me) - if she calls me I'll usually pick up while noodling around on my guitar. It actually pisses her off that I'm on the phone with her while playing guitar. She says I should just pay attention to her.
She's usually just bantering on about inane things like how bad her day was because she was getting tail gated or something in that vein for like 15 minutes. So I can usually just get away with saying "Uh huh, Yes, I do agree with you, NO WAY" but she finally caught on to the fact that I rarely listen to her when I'm playing guitar. I would say normally I should just put the guitar down and listen but I like to practice 2 or 3 hours a day MINIMUM - once im in the flow I don't like to stop. She says this is selfish!!


Ugh advice please on this practicing problem. Any one else with a similar situation past or present?

Is it me or is she @#$!ING demanding?

Seems to me a lot of women talk about really boring matters and to them these matters seem EPIC but to me they're trivial. I've noticed this a lot...(is it just me?) I must say I've encountered a few truely amazing conversationalist chicks that drive me batty; They're usually taken.

Female GMCers this isn't meant to be offensive in anyway, infact your advice would be paramount in my decision about this matter.


Maybe this is part of the reason BB King named his guitar Lucielle - It demands his full attention, just like women. In all seriousness, I understand what you are saying - I have a wife and 3 kids and run my own business(Insurance agency). At night I want to just play my guitar, but I do make time for my wife and kids that doesn't include me having a guitar in my hands, so I usually play from 10pm to 12am(OR 1am sometimes). They do know I enjoy it, and respect that, but can get frustrated if I am not giving them my undivided attention. I thnk part of the problem is your girlfriend does not understand how important the guitar is to you, and maybe thinks of it as just a casual hobby.


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Chris Evans
post Oct 17 2008, 11:01 PM
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I used to have this problem with my wife, what Andrew says is correct, eventually it will reach a head where really its up to you if it goes one way or the other, mine was slightly different in the fact that I am married and live with my wife full time ofc laugh.gif

I actually looked at the time I was spending on the guitar, and really she did have a point, as much as I didnt like that fact! now we have reached a good compromise which actually is in my favour but she is satisfied that when I come in from work till 8 o clock (ish)(UK time) is time I spend with her, and I have one or two nights off from playing anyways normally so those are bonus nights, (I still have GMC on my laptop though wink.gif ) weekends (daytime) is purely family time,

Although I totally and completly understand your frustration with your girlfriend, I have to say (please dont shoot me laugh.gif) that the time you spend on the phone with her is really not that much, a lot comes down to how much you value your relationship of course.

I`m sure you`ll work it out, just dont let it cause huge rows though, that really is a waste of energy, let alone valuable guitar practice time laugh.gif


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Kizaze44
post Oct 17 2008, 11:14 PM
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Been married 16 years and 4 kids demanding my attention. On weekdays I actually stay after work some nights and practice for an hour. (Guitar & amp in the closet at work) Go home satisfied. On weekends the bride is cool with playing a half hour here and there, but the kids - always looking to interrupt the jam, so that's tough 'cause I can't say no to my daughters!

How bout teaching her to play? Or play piano. My son's a drummer and jamming together takes care of any issues.

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JCJXXL
post Oct 18 2008, 02:07 AM
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Oh that's easy, ditch the girl and buy another guitar wink.gif


There needs to be a little give and take on BOTH sides, not just yours.
Life is about balance. I think you will find that with balance life is more enjoyable/rewarding and your interests (such as guitar) will flourish more than ever. It's crazy how that works out, but it does. And in the end both of you will be much happier.

But of course you have to ask yourself how much she means to you (if anything) and is it worth trying to balance everything? But remember like I said earlier, there has to be a little give and take on both sides. Is she is a selfish, controlling person then the relationship is doomed regardless if you are playing guitar or not.
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besip
post Oct 18 2008, 03:17 AM
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QUOTE (fatb0t @ Oct 17 2008, 12:02 PM) *
She lives far away so I only see her maybe twice a week. So I usually won't play if she's around to avoid this conflict.



i'm can't imagine what's be happen if she be leave realy close to your house and you be see each other every day tongue.gif
i'm not making fun with that it's probaly carzy huh.gif ..but i'm thing if she meet yout at the time when you allready play guitar she have to respect that!!! lot of women don't do that and thats not just about playing guitar...here is sport friends and more and more.....

i'm so glad my Girl don't have problem with that...she's watching tv and i'm play guitar...lets see other situaction when i'm be teling her all the time don't watch the tv all the time and lets come play guitar with me laugh.gif
no we respect each other


hope you gonna find we your girl some way to be ok!!!!!
good luck


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FrankW
post Oct 18 2008, 04:31 AM
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I don't have a problem with women, I love 'em, but they are bad about insisting on your undivided attention regardless of the subject matter. They consider anything you put time into and enjoy, a threat to them. You need to set some ground rules and be very clear about them.
It's a rare woman who will support your interests instead of complaining about them, believe me.
You guys need to come to some kind of understanding about what matters to you and her both. Relationships are always about compromise, and if she can't understand your passion for music, I'd tell her she's going to have to get over it or hit the road. The fact is, you're not married yet, so maximize the use of your free time as much as you can now.

This post has been edited by FrankW: Oct 18 2008, 06:08 AM
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Gus
post Oct 18 2008, 09:35 AM
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QUOTE (fatb0t @ Oct 17 2008, 07:02 PM) *
Is it me or is she @#$!ING demanding?


It may be both, but you should be ready to accept your share on the problem you have is there for sure (maybe it is even close to 100%).

I had similar problem in the past and from time to time it comes into scene again. I used to play Warcraft III 2 hours every day. As crazy as it sounds: this is a lot of time, for someone working/studying full day. Of course I would like to play much more. The guys I played were there 3-8 hours a day and could improve much more.

Another point is that man's brain is a little bit stupid: we can really concentrate on one thing at a time. When talking in the phone with her and playing at the same time, I was just saying, "yeah", "hmmm, hmmm" , "ok". And it is very bad to a girl if you just do that without really mean it. To feel loved, a woman must feel you are interested in her matters, not only that you stay there letting her talking.
Ah, by the way, almost 100% of times that I was talking to her and trying play warcraft at the same time, she was pissed off and I lost the game. Just think about it: this is lose-lose situation. Both things that mattered to me (she being happy and me winning games) were screwed by my actions.

I can't remember exactly how but we just came to the point where if she called me during a game I would say "I am just finishing this game. I'll call you right back". A warcraft game usually lasts less than 20 minutes and that's pretty much ok. Of course she would be pissed off if I just said "When I finish playing I come back to you" and then return her call 3 hours later.

In your case, I would tell to speak frankly with her but find a compromise solution. If you don't like interrupting your practice say "I will just finish this exercise" and then return to her after the exercise, not 2 hours later. If she likes you she will understand that guitar is very important to you and you don't like to interrupt your practice in a key point (let's say specially if you are building up speed on an exercise). But she must also know that you are able to sacrifice a little bit of something that's really important for you to be with her. Otherwise she will just think that you only come to her when you get bored of practicing guitar. You are the only one that can make this last part work, my friend. If you really like her just think about it.

This post has been edited by Gus: Oct 18 2008, 09:42 AM


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Rooks
post Oct 18 2008, 09:48 AM
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Well you could say you are writing her a song ? that'l make it about her

Though don't take my advice for the truth I'm single

This post has been edited by Rooks: Oct 18 2008, 09:48 AM


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fatb0t
post Oct 19 2008, 01:02 AM
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Thanks for the advice guys, a lot of you have a very clear view of this. I believe I have this issue focused now and it can be resolved. Hopefully it's not too late =/

Who needs therapy when you got GMC forums!

This post has been edited by fatb0t: Oct 19 2008, 01:03 AM
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John In Socal
post Oct 19 2008, 09:04 AM
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this is not a practice or guitar problem, this is a relationship problem. If it wasn't guitar it would be something else. I have been married for 15 years and if there is one thing you need to know about women is that if you are talking to them on the phone don't be doing something else, maybe you can find a woman that wouldn't mind you just saying "yes, and uh ha and doing something else" while on the phone but based on what I have seen I doubt that woman exists on the planet. At 22 you are both still pretty young, but these types of things will still come up with any relationship you have. Pick out some time to spend with her and give her your full attention for that time and you may find that it will go a long ways to helping out the relationship.
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staticstef
post Oct 19 2008, 01:00 PM
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Soz im a bit late in replying but i know what you are feeling. I kind of have this problem but not as deep, when i have time to myself to play guitar i cant seem to get a moment to practice because when im not with my girlfriend she will text me all the time and it gets a bit annoying having to put the guitar down to text back, to get another text that i have to reply to, then when she realises am busy because im taking too long to reply she plays the guilty card laugh.gif and if i tell her that im playing guitar shel make me feel even more bad even though she doesnt mean to lol. It is a bit frustrating i must say but i guess that what makes men different from women, women seem to require more attention than us men haha, they seem to be able to keep conversations going for aaaaages too lol especially when watching an interesting film rolleyes.gif
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fatb0t
post Oct 19 2008, 07:15 PM
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haha this seems to be a common problem
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