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> How Do You Manage To Live By Yourself?, A bit of random rants
Caelumamittendum
post Nov 19 2008, 08:19 PM
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Hey everyone.

This is a kinda unusual post from me, as I'm not usually the kind who goes all out ranting like this... Sorry about that, but kinda have to get this out.

As some of you know, I recently moved away from home and into my own apartment. It has been great so far, and it still is - to some extent.

My girlfriend is here every now and then, often in weekends, but when she leaves the apartment becomes sooo empty. It's really like that whenever guests leave - though mostly when my girlfriend leaves.

Besides that work sucks at the moment, due to a bad district (I'm a mail man, remember?) at the moment and way to much post/mail. I would like to find another job, but no other job pays as well as this does, and gives you the same working hours. These at the job as a mail man is often great, but when you have a bad district or long or unfamiliar district you may be working 1 hour longer or so - so you're working 9 hours a day. Then you get home and before you know it your day has gone. And on top of that everything feels empty, because there's no company around here in the apartment.

To add to that I've lately felt a total lack of interest in doing things. In going to work, making dinner, go to the mall or anything in general. I often feel like just sitting and staring at the clock to make the time go slower. It may just be a general winter depression hitting me, but I'm usually not the type that gets knocked down by such.

I also woke up this morning feeling a strange dizzyness and kinda pressure in my chest, so I called in sick. And I feel like doing the same tomorrow, to try and get all this out of my head. But I also feel bad for doing so.

So to sum it up: I kinda feel like everything sucks at the moment and I can't be bothered to do anything and I just want time to slow down.

Rant over... mad.gif And now I'm hoping for some cheerful replies... dry.gif

EDIT: Oh and another thing... I've begun not being able to fall asleep at night...

This post has been edited by Caelumamittendum: Nov 19 2008, 08:38 PM


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Ivan Milenkovic
post Nov 19 2008, 08:38 PM
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Life is tough mate, it will hardly let you enjoy it, you must fight to get your way in this big world. Don't get discouraged easily, get out of the home, do some walking, reading, hanging out with friends, go out with your girl. Sitting all the time at home can make you very depressing, so try to avoid spending all your time at home. Try practicing a bit, that can clear up your head and motivate you real quick.

Also this is just a passing thing, it'll be OK in a couple of days/weeks, just keep on pushing, and spend some quality time with people around you.


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Caelumamittendum
post Nov 19 2008, 08:42 PM
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QUOTE (Ivan Milenkovic @ Nov 19 2008, 08:38 PM) *
Life is tough mate, it will hardly let you enjoy it, you must fight to get your way in this big world. Don't get discouraged easily, get out of the home, do some walking, reading, hanging out with friends, go out with your girl. Sitting all the time at home can make you very depressing, so try to avoid spending all your time at home. Try practicing a bit, that can clear up your head and motivate you real quick.

Also this is just a passing thing, it'll be OK in a couple of days/weeks, just keep on pushing, and spend some quality time with people around you.


Thing is... whenever I spent quality time with people, I always get kinda sad when they leave.

It reminds me of my childhood, where I used to go camping every weekend with my family. I was about 5 or 6. Whenever we left (sunday evening) I would cry cause I had had such a great time there and didn't want it to end. I don't cry these days, mind you, but it kinda feels the same dry.gif


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Fran
post Nov 19 2008, 08:54 PM
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Damn Cae, sounds like you are a bit depressed, cheer up mate, as soon as possible! Don't let the winter blues get you!

You say you'd like a new, better job, and that's very important. From what you say your job seems to be your biggest concern, so better look for a better one or pray to get a better district soon!. Try to focus on the good things though: you do have a job, you live on your own and you get good cash to spend on stuff!

As for the loneliness at home, that's quite worrying. I mean, you have your guitar, and internet, and there must be lots of things you enjoy doing in your free time. In my case I practice guitar, watch TV series and play some playstation now and then. Oh, and I check GMC forums & our wiki every day!.

This is easier said than done, but you have to focus on the good, leave the bad out of your head, and use all your free time doing the things you enjoy the most. Hope you get over the blues as soon as possible Cae smile.gif


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Caelumamittendum
post Nov 19 2008, 09:20 PM
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Well, the thing is that I do actually do all the things I enjoy when I get home. I play guitar, I play playstation, I check the internet, I watch TV etc. But then the whole day is gone and I feel like I've done nothing productive.

I think it is the Winter blues that has got me - for the very first time in my life.

I don't know why I feel lonely. I used to see other people less when I lived with my parents. I used to just sit in my room when I was not at school etc. Every now and then people stop by here, but it's still not the same. It feels more lonely - as soon as they've left.

The latter especially when my girlfriend has left here. When I lived at home it didn't feel quite as bad, but now as soon as she has left I don't know what to do. I actually don't want to do anything then. But when she is here I have no problem playing PS3, checking the internet etc. But it's just uninteresting when she's left.

I know it sounds a little emo-ish, but I thought it would help to just get it out.

What worries me the most is how time seems to go by soooo fast. That is one thing I'd like to stop.

My girlfriend's family has offered me one of their cats. Or well, I can borrow it. tongue.gif

This post has been edited by Caelumamittendum: Nov 19 2008, 09:24 PM


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kjutte
post Nov 19 2008, 09:27 PM
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Living alone does suck, man. I'm not really sure what to tell you.
Go out and drink, try to get some friends in the new town?
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Caelumamittendum
post Nov 19 2008, 09:40 PM
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QUOTE (kjutte @ Nov 19 2008, 09:27 PM) *
Living alone does suck, man. I'm not really sure what to tell you.
Go out and drink, try to get some friends in the new town?


Well, the thing is.... I meet at work at 6.15. So going out to get something to drink (which I do every time Tottenham plays) is not always a good option.

(I might be getting a cat soon though ohmy.gif)

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Caelumamittendum
post Nov 19 2008, 10:09 PM
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Alright guys! More ranting:

I've decided to stay home tomorrow, to get on the top of things and seek some other jobs too maybe. I'm tired of having to get up that early and going to bed that early, so I'll see if I can find some other job with better working hours.


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jer
post Nov 19 2008, 10:15 PM
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QUOTE
I play guitar, I play playstation, I check the internet, I watch TV etc. But then the whole day is gone and I feel like I've done nothing productive.


You did what you wanted to do. Thats productive.

Do you need another hobby?

Forget the cat. Get a dog.

smile.gif


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Caelumamittendum
post Nov 19 2008, 10:21 PM
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QUOTE (jer @ Nov 19 2008, 10:15 PM) *
You did what you wanted to do. Thats productive.

Do you need another hobby?

Forget the cat. Get a dog.

smile.gif


I can get the cat for free, and it's not as noisy as a dog. Besides I'm not sure if I'm allowed to have animals here, but I can just "borrow" the cat and give it back if someone notices it. rolleyes.gif


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Ramiro Delforte
post Nov 19 2008, 10:22 PM
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Some people have a difficult time living alone. I like a lot being alone and have no one around because I enjoy doing the things I want when I want and don't have anyone around that bothers me or I bother. But the first week that I moved to the apartment was very hard because a big change not having my mum or her dog around.
If you are a person who does not enjoy living alone maybe you could ask your girlfriend to move with you.
Regarding those days that you feel lost and empty. I think the best way to fight that feeling is to make goals. You can learn about something you like, or start a collection of music...I don't know, I have friends who like progressive music from all over the world and collect CDs from Germany (Krautrock) or Japan and stuff like that. You can always make a routine on your instrument and set goals like playing patterns from quarter=60 to quarter=80. I don't know I'm just throwing some ideas that helped me when I got depressed smile.gif

I hope some of them could help you as well, and cheer up!


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jer
post Nov 19 2008, 10:25 PM
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you could start "Fight Club".

(movie reference)


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superize
post Nov 19 2008, 10:26 PM
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Well i have never tried living alone so i cant really tell........


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Caelumamittendum
post Nov 19 2008, 10:30 PM
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QUOTE (jer @ Nov 19 2008, 10:25 PM) *
you could start "Fight Club".

(movie reference)


Might not be a good idea, if I'm going to look for other jobs and have job interviews coming up! laugh.gif

QUOTE (Ramiro Delforte @ Nov 19 2008, 10:22 PM) *
Some people have a difficult time living alone. I like a lot being alone and have no one around because I enjoy doing the things I want when I want and don't have anyone around that bothers me or I bother. But the first week that I moved to the apartment was very hard because a big change not having my mum or her dog around.
If you are a person who does not enjoy living alone maybe you could ask your girlfriend to move with you.
Regarding those days that you feel lost and empty. I think the best way to fight that feeling is to make goals. You can learn about something you like, or start a collection of music...I don't know, I have friends who like progressive music from all over the world and collect CDs from Germany (Krautrock) or Japan and stuff like that. You can always make a routine on your instrument and set goals like playing patterns from quarter=60 to quarter=80. I don't know I'm just throwing some ideas that helped me when I got depressed smile.gif

I hope some of them could help you as well, and cheer up!


I do enjoy being by myself and enjoy playing guitar etc., but whenever I feel done with that or the day has gone by I become kinda sad as time seems to escape me, which bothers me the most. As I mentioned I sometimes wish I could slow time down, so I could do more during a day.

I do enjoy progressive metal, and I already collect these cheap radio promotion cds that are sent out and other cheap recordings from unknown bands! laugh.gif


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Ramiro Delforte
post Nov 19 2008, 10:36 PM
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Hahaha, well, you could start another collection....I don't know....ehmmm Etnic Music?


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Fran
post Nov 19 2008, 10:37 PM
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QUOTE (Caelumamittendum @ Nov 19 2008, 10:30 PM) *
I do enjoy being by myself and enjoy playing guitar etc., but whenever I feel done with that or the day has gone by I become kinda sad as time seems to escape me, which bothers me the most. As I mentioned I sometimes wish I could slow time down, so I could do more during a day.


You need more spare time. You feel the day is short because your leissure time is short. If I were you I'd do my best to get a better job, I mean a job that leaves you more free time. Fight for it, even if it takes lots of effort and becomes a middle/long term goal, you only live once, so find a comfortable job for your needs. Those are never easy to get though.


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jer
post Nov 19 2008, 10:37 PM
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I tell ya I spend a lot of time wishing I had your problem....

Time to myself.

Thats a luxury.



Start a band.
Give guitar lessons to kids.
Start a home based business.


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Jackson SL-1 USA Soloist
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Caelumamittendum
post Nov 19 2008, 10:44 PM
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QUOTE (Fran @ Nov 19 2008, 10:37 PM) *
You need more spare time. You feel the day is short because your leissure time is short. If I were you I'd do my best to get a better job, I mean a job that leaves you more free time. Fight for it, even if it takes lots of effort and becomes a middle/long term goal, you only live once, so find a comfortable job for your needs. Those are never easy to get though.


Well the thing is. When I have a good district, I get off at 1 O'clock, meaning that I have like 9 hours of spare time. But there are lot of bad days, and I've never been one of those "getting up early" kinda persons, but now I have to.

QUOTE (jer @ Nov 19 2008, 10:37 PM) *
I tell ya I spend a lot of time wishing I had your problem....

Time to myself.

Thats a luxury.



Start a band.
Give guitar lessons to kids.
Start a home based business.


Well the problem isn't that I don't have things to do. The problem is that the spare time I do have goes by way to quickly! laugh.gif


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Kizaze44
post Nov 19 2008, 10:49 PM
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How about starting a project? Solo album for yourself?
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fatb0t
post Nov 19 2008, 10:51 PM
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I can't stand waking up early either dude. It makes life miserable going to a job SUPER early everyday. I wake up and the first thing I do is say F&*!. =(
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