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> How Do You Manage To Live By Yourself?, A bit of random rants
Caelumamittendum
post Nov 19 2008, 10:53 PM
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QUOTE (Kizaze44 @ Nov 19 2008, 10:49 PM) *
How about starting a project? Solo album for yourself?


Well...See...

A couple of years ago I wrote some music for a project called Lex Naturae. Actually a full album. Never recorded it though. But I still have the sheets for it. Anyways... about 1-2 years ago, I decided to re-write it, as I weren't completely satisfied with it. I started out and wrote something, but wasn't quite satisfied with it. I wrote something new, but wasn't satisfied with it, and the circled continued, and it's been like that for 1½ year. So I haven't really written any music for 1½ year, as that is my one and only true goal these days - to write the perfect music for that project. But being the perfectionist I am when it comes to compositions, that is also what holds me back.


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mjsteps
post Nov 19 2008, 10:54 PM
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It takes time to get adjusted to living by yourself. As far as your job goes as hard as it might be right now I suggest that you look for something positive in your current place of employment. If not it will wear you down, you find no satisfaction and even get to feeling "blue".
I also suggest that if you feel that you have not accomplished much during the course of the day that you actually write out what it is that you actually accomplished and you might be surprised that you just might be doing to much but are feeling pressured to think you should be doing more. But you need to be positive if not you will become depressed and I myself have been there, gotten treatment for it and I wish that for no one.
So hang in there things change all the time and be positive because there is always someone out there that is having more trouble than you, that there situation and circumstances are far worse . What ever difficulties , keep in mind that you will be a better person for them providing that you have the right frame of mind.
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Jeff
post Nov 19 2008, 10:54 PM
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Do some charity work. In particular, something to help out children. Find a group of people who need help and pitch in. I'm telling you, you will never get more satisfaction out of your life than you do when you help others. It gives you a since of purpose, self-worth and a feeling of accomplishment. Then when you are alone, you know you have a purpose and you will be satisfied. Use that time to relax and enjoy it before you get to overwhelmed with starting your own family someday.

You will feel so much better about yourself knowing that there are others who are thankful that you are around. Plus you will meet tons of new friends and your existing friends, especially your girlfriend, will see you in a new light. Trust me smile.gif
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Marek Rojewski
post Nov 19 2008, 10:54 PM
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Well I can't say too much as I never lived alone. I live with my girlfriend for last 4-5 months but things aren't 100% good between us.

Now I need to see other people most I can, and play the guitar when not seeing them. That is the best day plan for me. I don't have to work much, only two days a week in my fathers firm, and university is also meting other people. Anyway what I would do in Your place is to just do the things You like.. Also maybe plan Your day, this will give You an impression of better time control. It is also important to make Your home "nice", I am a spartan type, but some items can make Your home a more pleasant place for You.


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Sentenced
post Nov 19 2008, 10:54 PM
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After i was finished with school, i had some months where i could play guitar and do all the things that i wanted the whole day. It was great, but still then i felt like i had not enough time - maybe because i felt like i've started to play guitar too late (19). Now i study and feel similar, i often play guitar longer than i probably should compared to the time of learning, but if i do some exercises on the guitar i feel better, like i WAS productive.

What i want to say is, that sometimes even whole days of spare time are not enough, its like a mental thing - i cant describe it really good. But i know some people who get bored if the have a long period of "spare time days" - i dont belong to this group, i think all who are passionate about some things may it be the guitar or something else feel like they dont have enough time, because they want to have more and more, but now i start to get offtopic so i hope some of my thoughts are actually hitting the point and my grammar isnt that bad.

cheers

hope you feel better soon.
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Caelumamittendum
post Nov 19 2008, 11:00 PM
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QUOTE (fatb0t @ Nov 19 2008, 10:51 PM) *
I can't stand waking up early either dude. It makes life miserable going to a job SUPER early everyday. I wake up and the first thing I do is say F&*!. =(


Yeah. Same here. It's quite nice once it is done, when it's a good day, as I am then done by 1 O'clock in the afternoon.

In the beginning I thought that was quite alright, as I had all afternoon to do the things I liked. However I've come to realise that none of my friends are available at that time, and no-one is online at internet forums etc...

So I'd much rather work from 8 to 4 or 9 to 5 or even 10 to 6... but I'm not sure if it pays as good as my current job does.

QUOTE (Jeff @ Nov 19 2008, 10:54 PM) *
Do some charity work. In particular, something to help out children. Find a group of people who need help and pitch in. I'm telling you, you will never get more satisfaction out of your life than you do when you help others. It gives you a since of purpose, self-worth and a feeling of accomplishment. Then when you are alone, you know you have a purpose and you will be satisfied. Use that time to relax and enjoy it before you get to overwhelmed with starting your own family someday.

You will feel so much better about yourself knowing that there are others who are thankful that you are around. Plus you will meet tons of new friends and your existing friends, especially your girlfriend, will see you in a new light. Trust me smile.gif


True enough. The thing is I'm afraid that the main problem lies within the meeting hours at my job.

Thanks for the reply!

QUOTE (Sentenced @ Nov 19 2008, 10:54 PM) *
After i was finished with school, i had some months where i could play guitar and do all the things that i wanted the whole day. It was great, but still then i felt like i had not enough time - maybe because i felt like i've started to play guitar too late (19). Now i study and feel similar, i often play guitar longer than i probably should compared to the time of learning, but if i do some exercises on the guitar i feel better, like i WAS productive.

What i want to say is, that sometimes even whole days of spare time are not enough, its like a mental thing - i cant describe it really good. But i know some people who get bored if the have a long period of "spare time days" - i dont belong to this group, i think all who are passionate about some things may it be the guitar or something else feel like they dont have enough time, because they want to have more and more, but now i start to get offtopic so i hope some of my thoughts are actually hitting the point and my grammar isnt that bad.

cheers

hope you feel better soon.


I know exactly what you mean, and I am exactly like you.

What is most troublesome also, is that I'm probably more of a night-kinda person, but my current job is from 6 to 14... So I have to get up early and go to bed early.


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lcsdds
post Nov 19 2008, 11:01 PM
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QUOTE (Caelumamittendum @ Nov 19 2008, 10:44 PM) *
Well the thing is. When I have a good district, I get off at 1 O'clock, meaning that I have like 9 hours of spare time. But there are lot of bad days, and I've never been one of those "getting up early" kinda persons, but now I have to.



Well the problem isn't that I don't have things to do. The problem is that the spare time I do have goes by way to quickly! laugh.gif


My experience has been that the grass is always greener. I remember when I was in college married with a kid and broke as hell I always thought "if I could just graduate and start making money then life will get good". Then I graduated got a good job and thought "if I could just get a little savings and pay off my debt then life will get good". Did that and then thought "If I could just get my kids grown a little bit and have more time then life will be better"!! The point is that every chapter of our lives present challenges and you just have to learn to adapt to them and roll with the punches. Control what you can, like your job etc. But for the most part there is nothing easy about life, it is a struggle all the way IMO. I will say one thing though, I have been dirt poor and not so dirt poor and I know for a fact that having money doesn't make you happy. The things that will make you happy are your relationships with people. Everything else in this life can dissapear in a heartbeat, trust me on this!!!

Monte
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Caelumamittendum
post Nov 19 2008, 11:03 PM
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QUOTE (Marek Rojewski @ Nov 19 2008, 10:54 PM) *
Well I can't say too much as I never lived alone. I live with my girlfriend for last 4-5 months but things aren't 100% good between us.

Now I need to see other people most I can, and play the guitar when not seeing them. That is the best day plan for me. I don't have to work much, only two days a week in my fathers firm, and university is also meting other people. Anyway what I would do in Your place is to just do the things You like.. Also maybe plan Your day, this will give You an impression of better time control. It is also important to make Your home "nice", I am a spartan type, but some items can make Your home a more pleasant place for You.


I too am a bit of a spartan person, but I have tried to make my home feel like home. However it's still feels empty whenever I'm alone. I hope that if I get a cat that will help a bit tongue.gif

QUOTE (lcsdds @ Nov 19 2008, 11:01 PM) *
My experience has been that the grass is always greener. I remember when I was in college married with a kid and broke as hell I always thought "if I could just graduate and start making money then life will get good". Then I graduated got a good job and thought "if I could just get a little savings and pay off my debt then life will get good". Did that and then thought "If I could just get my kids grown a little bit and have more time then life will be better"!! The point is that every chapter of our lives present challenges and you just have to learn to adapt to them and roll with the punches. Control what you can, like your job etc. But for the most part there is nothing easy about life, it is a struggle all the way IMO. I will say one thing though, I have been dirt poor and not so dirt poor and I know for a fact that having money doesn't make you happy. The things that will make you happy are your relationships with people. Everything else in this life can dissapear in a heartbeat, trust me on this!!!

Monte


That's some nice advice. In the last two months I've had some money left at the end of the month, so a slight decrease in salary wouldn't be a huge problem probably. Let's say that is the case:

Do you suggest I find another job or keep my current?


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lcsdds
post Nov 19 2008, 11:09 PM
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QUOTE (Caelumamittendum @ Nov 19 2008, 11:03 PM) *
I too am a bit of a spartan person, but I have tried to make my home feel like home. However it's still feels empty whenever I'm alone. I hope that if I get a cat that will help a bit tongue.gif



That's some nice advice. In the last two months I've had some money left at the end of the month, so a slight decrease in salary wouldn't be a huge problem probably. Let's say that is the case:

Do you suggest I find another job or keep my current?


I certainly wouldn't quit your job until you have another lined up, especially in this economy. My experience is that a job is just that, a job. It shouldn't define who and what you are. There are always gonna be things about your job that suck!! But if you are not happy with your job you should definitely see if you can't find a better one. How old are you? Maybe you should look into going to college or further your education some how if you haven't already. You can never go wrong investing in yourself IMO wink.gif wink.gif Good luck!!
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Caelumamittendum
post Nov 19 2008, 11:12 PM
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QUOTE (lcsdds @ Nov 19 2008, 11:09 PM) *
I certainly wouldn't quit your job until you have another lined up, especially in this economy. My experience is that a job is just that, a job. It shouldn't define who and what you are. There are always gonna be things about your job that suck!! But if you are not happy with your job you should definitely see if you can't find a better one. How old are you? Maybe you should look into going to college or further your education some how if you haven't already. You can never go wrong investing in yourself IMO wink.gif wink.gif Good luck!!


Well, of course I would keep my current job till I find another. Another job probably wouldn't pay as well.

I am only 19 years old actually. 20 soon. I'm going to university in a year or two, as I wanted a break from that as well, as it would have been 18 years straight of school, high school and university. That was too much as well. So I'm taking a year or two off.


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lcsdds
post Nov 19 2008, 11:22 PM
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QUOTE (Caelumamittendum @ Nov 19 2008, 11:12 PM) *
Well, of course I would keep my current job till I find another. Another job probably wouldn't pay as well.

I am only 19 years old actually. 20 soon. I'm going to university in a year or two, as I wanted a break from that as well, as it would have been 18 years straight of school, high school and university. That was too much as well. So I'm taking a year or two off.


My experience with taking time off from school is that it is very hard to get motivated to go back. Once you get the "freedom" of not studying for tests etc. it is TOUGH to get back into that frame of mind. Again, good luck!! smile.gif

Monte


QUOTE (Caelumamittendum @ Nov 19 2008, 11:12 PM) *
Well, of course I would keep my current job till I find another. Another job probably wouldn't pay as well.

I am only 19 years old actually. 20 soon. I'm going to university in a year or two, as I wanted a break from that as well, as it would have been 18 years straight of school, high school and university. That was too much as well. So I'm taking a year or two off.


My experience with taking time off from school is that it is very hard to get motivated to go back. Once you get the "freedom" of not studying for tests etc. it is TOUGH to get back into that frame of mind. Again, good luck!! smile.gif

Monte
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Caelumamittendum
post Nov 19 2008, 11:43 PM
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QUOTE (lcsdds @ Nov 19 2008, 11:22 PM) *
My experience with taking time off from school is that it is very hard to get motivated to go back. Once you get the "freedom" of not studying for tests etc. it is TOUGH to get back into that frame of mind. Again, good luck!! smile.gif

Monte


True. I've heard both this and the opposite way around.

As said earlier, I am taking the day off tomorrow to try and get my head sorted and maybe write some job applications as well.


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Emir Hot
post Nov 20 2008, 08:23 AM
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When I read your first post I remembered the moment when I felt exactly the same. What I did, I wrote a song in 30 min. It's a moment when you have enough of everything and need a kind of a punch to wake up and move on. The whole depression came out within minutes. I took a pen and paper and wrote lyrics almost without a stop spilling all the anger I had about my life and everythng arround me. As I was writting, the melody and whole arrangement were coming to my mind sorted like a puzzle. When I was done I felt so strong like never before. The song is now on my album and someone put it on Youtube with some static pitcutes. Here it is. We also did a proper video for this one and it's being edited at the moment. Tell me what you think.




Stand and fight

When you dream about the past
Seems like it wasn't long ago
But the dream has gone and words just tell the tale
Life is short and maybe we can get another chance
To make up all we missed out yesterday

We're standing at the crossroads where we need to decide
Which way we should be moving on tomorrow
We never know what's right or wrong 'cause nothing lights the way
But the flame is burning on and on again

Stand and fight- for dreams of our lives
Say it loud- we're never falling down
For the light- we pray with all our hearts
See the stars- that fall down from the sky

Soon we'll know if we are done or still we feel the pain
But the flame is burning on and on again

When you feel you're in the dark and there's just no more time to pray
You realize it's just your circumstance
If there's a sign of hope in sight across the seven seas
It's hard to fight while drowning in your tears

One wrong step ahead and a voice from hell calls your name
To show you it can change your destiny
We still don't know what's right or wrong 'cause nothing lights the way
But the flame's still burning on and on again


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OrganisedConfusi...
post Nov 20 2008, 10:59 AM
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Man I'm jealous. I'd love my own apartment smile.gif


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Caelumamittendum
post Nov 20 2008, 12:24 PM
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QUOTE (Emir Hot @ Nov 20 2008, 08:23 AM) *
When I read your first post I remembered the moment when I felt exactly the same. What I did, I wrote a song in 30 min. It's a moment when you have enough of everything and need a kind of a punch to wake up and move on. The whole depression came out within minutes. I took a pen and paper and wrote lyrics almost without a stop spilling all the anger I had about my life and everythng arround me. As I was writting, the melody and whole arrangement were coming to my mind sorted like a puzzle. When I was done I felt so strong like never before. The song is now on my album and someone put it on Youtube with some static pitcutes. Here it is. We also did a proper video for this one and it's being edited at the moment. Tell me what you think.




Stand and fight

When you dream about the past
Seems like it wasn't long ago
But the dream has gone and words just tell the tale
Life is short and maybe we can get another chance
To make up all we missed out yesterday

We're standing at the crossroads where we need to decide
Which way we should be moving on tomorrow
We never know what's right or wrong 'cause nothing lights the way
But the flame is burning on and on again

Stand and fight- for dreams of our lives
Say it loud- we're never falling down
For the light- we pray with all our hearts
See the stars- that fall down from the sky

Soon we'll know if we are done or still we feel the pain
But the flame is burning on and on again

When you feel you're in the dark and there's just no more time to pray
You realize it's just your circumstance
If there's a sign of hope in sight across the seven seas
It's hard to fight while drowning in your tears

One wrong step ahead and a voice from hell calls your name
To show you it can change your destiny
We still don't know what's right or wrong 'cause nothing lights the way
But the flame's still burning on and on again


Thanks for the reply!

The thing is - concerning music I've been stuck in a rut for 1½ year and haven't written anything since last summer (1 song) and the one before that is 2 years ago soon. So that is another thing that is really killing me. I used to be able to write songs in a couple of hours - more than one on a day etc., but now I just can't get the right feelings out with music anymore.

QUOTE (OrganisedConfusion @ Nov 20 2008, 10:59 AM) *
Man I'm jealous. I'd love my own apartment smile.gif


Well, it's not really the apartment it self, that I don't like. It's all the things that come with it - and those are mostly just in my head. tongue.gif


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OrganisedConfusi...
post Nov 20 2008, 12:28 PM
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QUOTE (Caelumamittendum @ Nov 20 2008, 11:24 AM) *
Well, it's not really the apartment it self, that I don't like. It's all the things that come with it - and those are mostly just in my head. tongue.gif

It's always good having your own time and space. You just need to keep yourself busy. Watch TV, play guitar, invite friends round or go round friends. When you feel lonely at times it is normal when you have got a place of your own but use it to your advantage. Sit back and play guitar or watch some films or get other things done.


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Caelumamittendum
post Nov 20 2008, 12:31 PM
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QUOTE (OrganisedConfusion @ Nov 20 2008, 12:28 PM) *
It's always good having your own time and space. You just need to keep yourself busy. Watch TV, play guitar, invite friends round or go round friends. When you feel lonely at times it is normal when you have got a place of your own but use it to your advantage. Sit back and play guitar or watch some films or get other things done.


Well, as I tried to explain: I have plenty of things to do! laugh.gif but then time passes by all too fast! tongue.gif


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OrganisedConfusi...
post Nov 20 2008, 12:32 PM
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QUOTE (Caelumamittendum @ Nov 20 2008, 11:31 AM) *
Well, as I tried to explain: I have plenty of things to do! laugh.gif but then time passes by all too fast! tongue.gif

Time passes fast for all unfortunately. I was 16 yesterday. Now I'm 24. What happened. I feel like an old man. biggrin.gif


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Caelumamittendum
post Nov 20 2008, 12:42 PM
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QUOTE (OrganisedConfusion @ Nov 20 2008, 12:32 PM) *
Time passes fast for all unfortunately. I was 16 yesterday. Now I'm 24. What happened. I feel like an old man. biggrin.gif


Yeah, of course! I wish I could slow it down though. I always feel like the day goes by way to fast and that I haven't really done anything.

Meh. Will just have to get my act together and stop being emo! tongue.gif


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post Nov 20 2008, 12:44 PM
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QUOTE (Caelumamittendum @ Nov 20 2008, 11:42 AM) *
Yeah, of course! I wish I could slow it down though. I always feel like the day goes by way to fast and that I haven't really done anything.

Meh. Will just have to get my act together and stop being emo! tongue.gif

I think it's because of your job a bit because you'll be getting up and working when it's dark and going home and sleeping no doubt and getting up when it's dark. That can be depressing. Do you see much daylight with your job? Unless it's different where you are from. My mum's boyfriend is a mail man and he works from 4AM to Midday.


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