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> The Aftermath Of Love
Eat-Sleep-andJam
post Nov 26 2008, 05:12 PM
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Verse:
Drying tears that wont stop falling off your face,
Waiting till they land in a mysterious place,
Make it better with a new fresh set of laughs,
Little do we know its the....

Chorus: Aftermath of love,
Talking when we cant make a conversation,
Just to hear each other speak another word,
Another smile , Another laugh,
Cause its the Aftermath,

The Aftermath of Love.
Verse 2:

Making light in the darkness with you.
As friendship changes to love,
In a moment or two.
With a heart as strong as the year is long.
Standing next to you just to feel a,
Sense of Company.

Between you!


Between me !


Chorus: This is the Aftermath of love
Talking when we cant make a conversation,
Just to hear each other speak another word,
Another smile , Another laugh,
Cause its the Aftermath,

The Aftermath of Love.



Verse 3: Ive waited so damn long,
Gave up on luck for awhile,
Just to hold your hand,
And let you make a new smile,

We threw away all the drugs,
Decided we just wanted those Kisses and Hugs.


Chorus This is the Aftermath of love
Talking when we cant make a conversation,
Just to hear each other speak another word,
Another smile , Another laugh,
Cause its the Aftermath,

The Aftermath of Love.



Outro: I must finally admit,
That Im getting sick of walking,
Lets lie down here,
And let are bodies do the talking.

Just wish all this really happened.
Just wish all this really happened.

I wish to god that some how,
These words would become reality,
And that somehow I could make you see,
What we could truly be.

In this Aftermath,

Aftermath of Love.





© John Minoia 2008


______
Tried writing in the style of Jack Johnson/ Jason Mraz.

Hope you like it. cool.gif

This post has been edited by Eat-Sleep-andJam: Nov 27 2008, 01:15 AM


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OrganisedConfusi...
post Nov 26 2008, 05:19 PM
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hahahahaha. I posted lyrics ages ago on here called the Aftermath of War tongue.gif I'm glad you took the happier side of things smile.gif I wont comment on lyrics as I'm not a love song or theme guy lol It seems good compared to other similar songs but I'm sure others can give better feedback smile.gif


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The Uncreator
post Nov 26 2008, 09:04 PM
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Lyrically the song is strong, Some minor things I would change like choice of words (On "Gave up on luck for awhile", I would of used something like "I have just given up luck", Something that sounds more forceful to add tension or drama, But that might not fit into your lyrical melody or scheme, Just my preference), But the second verse is particularly good out of all of them.

Lastly, If the chorus is sung twice in a row, Maybe on the second time change the lyrics slightly, But keep the same melody to add some dynamics? Just a thought, Good stuff either way.
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Eat-Sleep-andJam
post Nov 27 2008, 01:14 AM
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QUOTE (The Uncreator @ Nov 26 2008, 12:04 PM) *
Lyrically the song is strong, Some minor things I would change like choice of words (On "Gave up on luck for awhile", I would of used something like "I have just given up luck", Something that sounds more forceful to add tension or drama, But that might not fit into your lyrical melody or scheme, Just my preference), But the second verse is particularly good out of all of them.

Lastly, If the chorus is sung twice in a row, Maybe on the second time change the lyrics slightly, But keep the same melody to add some dynamics? Just a thought, Good stuff either way.



Ahh thanks for some feedback. I really like it when people tell me things I can improve on. Im not even that happy with this song I just wanted to get it up here because I felt the need to post it.

I agree with what you said about the chorus, I dont know why I had it repeating anway.
Im just going to edit it so it doesnt repeat.

I do want to keep the choice of words for the "Luck" part. It all depends on how the vocalist sings it, but there are numerous things that could go there.

Thanks cool.gif



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