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> Kane
showyourfist
post Dec 16 2008, 09:37 PM
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A song about my favourite fictional character! smile.gif

Genre: Thrash Metal


Kane


Spoken intro

"I kill things...It's what I was made too do...I'm rather good at it"



Verse 1

Primordial murderer, darkness weaved into his soul
Brought Violence too the world and doom to us all
Cursed with wanderlust, evil as sin
Strangled his own brother, killed his own kin

Guitar solo 1

Verse 2

A mad god spoke Malediction
Gave unto him judgement of conviction
Punishment with no ending, mind rending
Immortally suffering, into hell descending

Guitar solo 2

Pre-human science, perverted cults
Intellectual masterminds, living insults
Diabolical conquests, lord over them all
The red devil of death
Kane the immortal

Bridge

Guitar solo 3 (main solo)

Outro


This post has been edited by showyourfist: Dec 16 2008, 10:09 PM


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Eat-Sleep-andJam
post Dec 16 2008, 09:48 PM
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Although I dont really know what much of this was about, it was a nice read and was super evil.


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One line I didnt like.

QUOTE
The red devil of death Kane the immortal


Maybe break this up into two seperate lines, or choose a different ending. I could see if this is in a Metal genre it would be ok, but I mean it ends pretty abruptly with this, doesnt have much closure.


Thats all, Nice job.


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showyourfist
post Dec 16 2008, 09:59 PM
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QUOTE (Eat-Sleep-andJam @ Dec 16 2008, 08:48 PM) *
Although I dont really know what much of this was about, it was a nice read and was super evil.


smile.gif

One line I didnt like.



Maybe break this up into two seperate lines, or choose a different ending. I could see if this is in a Metal genre it would be ok, but I mean it ends pretty abruptly with this, doesnt have much closure.


Thats all, Nice job.


Cheers for the input!
yeah there's alot I'm not happy with, it's supposed too be kind of like a running song, more too do with the thumping energy.

I was wanting too add something too end it, more of a hook too make it more of a "song" but for the moment I'm stumped for ideas!

Here's a link for some background on the character http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kane_(fantasy)


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Marek Rojewski
post Dec 16 2008, 10:03 PM
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Great lyrics! I would change "a living insult" to "living insults" it would fit the "perverted cults" more I think... I would add maybe another verse, but on the other hand there is something good in songs with less verses also.


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showyourfist
post Dec 16 2008, 10:07 PM
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QUOTE (Marek Rojewski @ Dec 16 2008, 09:03 PM) *
Great lyrics! I would change "a living insult" to "living insults" it would fit the "perverted cults" more I think... I would add maybe another verse, but on the other hand there is something good in songs with less verses also.


Thanks good idea!

I think I'll have too look into making a final verse of some sort to give the songs ending a meaning perhaps?


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