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> Finally Barricaded
Eat-Sleep-andJam
post Jan 3 2009, 06:09 AM
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Feet first.

My body starts to tremble.
Like that noise in the night,
That scares the life out of you.

Let go.
Only to be captured again.
By a force to be reckoned with.
Hes sinking in the sand.

Hands up.
Reaching for anything on the surface.
Sticking and feeling their way out of,
This empty prison.

A heart stops

Ending the fight for salvation,
For freedom.
Its all just lost in the sand.

For today is the day when you will dig yourself an early grave.

Stepping back
To a time when a man walked alone.
In a endless desert.
A place he thought he'd known.

Walking aimlessly

Amongst this dry land.
Only to find himself,
Sinking in the sand.

A heart stops
And accepts a fate that seems so fitting.
No longer lonely.

Consumed by the sand.



© John Minoia 2008

-------
This is a song about a man in the desert.
Gets sucked into quicksand.


Dont be confused in the middle of the piece. Its just stepping back to when he was first walking in the desert.

Enjoy smile.gif



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The Uncreator
post Jan 3 2009, 03:25 PM
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I like the simplicity of it, Such an obvious concept, Yet I dont think it has been done often. I would like to see a bit more detail, Maybe in the area around him, his evironment and what not, And maybe a bit more on his emotions. All together though I like the concept. Simple, to the point, uncomforting (in a good way), and kind of evil. smile.gif
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Eat-Sleep-andJam
post Jan 4 2009, 01:35 AM
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laugh.gif . I wish I could have made it longer. I dont know alot about this topic though biggrin.gif

Glad you liked it cool.gif


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Marek Rojewski
post Jan 4 2009, 03:11 PM
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If You want to make it bit longer, You could write something about hallucinations seeing oasis, or something similar. I don't know much about dieing in a desert also, but I liked the image created;)


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Eat-Sleep-andJam
post Jan 4 2009, 05:25 PM
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QUOTE (Marek Rojewski @ Jan 4 2009, 06:11 AM) *
If You want to make it bit longer, You could write something about hallucinations seeing oasis, or something similar. I don't know much about dieing in a desert also, but I liked the image created;)



Hey thanks for the ideas man smile.gif

Totally forgot about that stuff laugh.gif

Maybe I'll edit it later wink.gif


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