Reply to this topicStart new topic
> Dont Ever Give Your Kisses Away For Free
Eat-Sleep-andJam
post Jan 5 2009, 04:30 AM
Post #1


GMC:er
*

Group: Members
Posts: 2.412
Joined: 23-February 07
From: New york
Member No.: 1.243



Dedicated to Erin.



Dont Ever Give Your Kisses Away For Free


I felt like I lost you tonight.
I watched you slowly drift,
In and out of my sight.
It all started from a kiss.
Maybe thats something you wont miss.
But tonight Im not giving up,
Thats the old me, hes gone.
I abadoned you once.
And I know now that it was wrong.

I care about you.
I feel like crying when I see your pain.
Your misery is my misery,
To me its all the same.
I watched you laugh,
I watched you cry.
I was there for you,
When your grandfather died.
But I wish I felt some sort of answer back.
Its like im calling and calling.
But your too hurt to react.




He told her to never,
Give her kisses away for free.
I took those words to heart,
This ones on me.

I will never ever leave you.
I wont be dieing anytime soon.
Its like the day has just begun,
But we will make it past noon.

I love you.
And It doesnt hurt to say it.
You gave me a kiss for free,
And I wont ever betray it.



Tonight it all started.
With words that we let go.
Of something so discrete.
That they were never meant to know.
But I'm not mad at you baby.
I never really was.
You make me feel alive.
More then anyone else does.
And little do you know,
I will always be by your side.
I will never feel for anyone else,
Like I feel for you tonight.



He told her to never,
Give her kisses away for free.
I took those words to heart,
This ones on me.

I will never ever leave you.
I wont be dieing anytime soon.
Its like the day has just begun,
But we will make it past noon.

I love you.
And It doesnt hurt to say it.
You gave me a kiss for free,
And I wont ever betray it.

So today you might act,
Like the worlds just falling on you.
Truth is ,
Your wrong.
Its falling on me to.
But today I hope you feel good,
I hope this song makes you feel glad.
I cant help but be in love with you.
Through the good times and the bad.


© John Minoia

This post has been edited by Eat-Sleep-andJam: Jan 6 2009, 01:05 PM


--------------------
Join Me On the Lyrics Board !


"Find something worth dying for...



...And live for it"
-The Uncreator
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
The Uncreator
post Jan 5 2009, 09:24 PM
Post #2


Fire Up The Blades, Moderator
Group Icon

Group: GMC Senior
Posts: 8.933
Joined: 6-March 07
From: St. Petersburg, Florida
Member No.: 1.304



QUOTE (Eat-Sleep-andJam @ Jan 4 2009, 07:30 PM) *
Dedicated to Erin.



Dont Ever Give Your Kisses Away For Free


I felt like I lost you tonight.
I watched you slowly drift,
In and out of my sight.
It all started from a kiss.
Maybe thats something you wont miss.
But tonight Im not giving up,
Thats the old me, hes gone.
I abadoned you once.
And I know now that it was wrong.

This verse is just fine the way it is, Good flow smile.gif

I care about you.
I feel like crying when I see your pain.
Your misery is my misery,
To me its all the same.
I watched you laugh,
I watched you cry.
I was there for you,
When your grandpa died.
But I wish I felt some sort of answer back.
Its like im calling and calling.
But your too hurt to react.

I think the in place of "grandpa", "grandfather" would add some strength and drama to it, Just a thought




He told her to never,
Give her kisses away for free.
I took those words to heart,
This ones on me.

I will never ever leave you.
I wont be dieing anytime soon.
Its like the day has just begun,
But we will make it past noon.

I love you.
And It doesnt hurt to say it.
You gave me a kiss for free,
And I wont ever betray it.


This part is good as well, Especially the first 4 lines


Tonight it all started.
With words that we let go.
Of something so discrete.
That they were never meant to know.
But I'm not mad at you baby.
I never really was.
You make me feel alive.
More then anyone else does.
And little do you know,
I will always be by your side.
I will never feel for anyone else,
Like I feel for you tonight.



He told her to never,
Give her kisses away for free.
I took those words to heart,
This ones on me.

I will never ever leave you.
I wont be dieing anytime soon.
Its like the day has just begun,
But we will make it past noon.

I love you.
And It doesnt hurt to say it.
You gave me a kiss for free,
And I wont ever betray it.

So today you might act,
Like the worlds just falling on you.
Truth is ,
Your wrong.
Its falling on me to.
But today I hope you feel good,
I hope this song makes you feel glad.
I cant help but be in love with you.
Through the good times and the bad.


© John Minoia


And a good ending to it as well, Good job.




c4c?
https://www.guitarmasterclass.net/guitar_fo...t=0#entry314081
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Eat-Sleep-andJam
post Jan 6 2009, 01:04 PM
Post #3


GMC:er
*

Group: Members
Posts: 2.412
Joined: 23-February 07
From: New york
Member No.: 1.243



I appreciate the Crit. I like your "grandfather" suggestion and Im going to keep that smile.gif Thanks biggrin.gif


--------------------
Join Me On the Lyrics Board !


"Find something worth dying for...



...And live for it"
-The Uncreator
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Marek Rojewski
post Jan 6 2009, 06:50 PM
Post #4


Experienced Guitar Hero
*

Group: Members
Posts: 1.657
Joined: 26-May 08
From: Lodz, Poland
Member No.: 5.185



I am sure that Erin will like it:) I would suggest replacing "baby" with some other word, for example "dear". But maybe it is just that here in Poland, calling a woman "baby" has also some not so good sound.


--------------------
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Rated Htr
post Jan 7 2009, 04:42 AM
Post #5


Learning Rock Star
*

Group: Members
Posts: 2.095
Joined: 15-October 07
From: Leiria, Portugal
Member No.: 3.056



QUOTE (Eat-Sleep-andJam @ Jan 5 2009, 03:30 AM) *
Dedicated to Erin.



Dont Ever Give Your Kisses Away For Free


I felt like I lost you tonight.
I watched you slowly drift,
In and out of my sight.
It all started from a kiss.
Maybe thats something you wont miss.
But tonight Im not giving up,
Thats the old me, hes gone.
I abadoned you once.
And I know now that it was wrong.

In the 4th verse, I think it would be better "It all started with a kiss". A small type "abandoned".
Curiously, I find this situation similar to an old experience of my life, sometimes, saying the simplest things, can explain the hardest of feelings.


I care about you.
I feel like crying when I see your pain.
Your misery is my misery,
To me its all the same.
I watched you laugh,
I watched you cry.
I was there for you,
When your grandfather died.
But I wish I felt some sort of answer back.
Its like im calling and calling.
But your too hurt to react.

This one is very touching. Kinda imagine a flashback of all the good memories from reading this.

He told her to never,
Give her kisses away for free.
I took those words to heart,
This ones on me.

I will never ever leave you.
I wont be dieing anytime soon.
Its like the day has just begun,
But we will make it past noon.

I love you.
And It doesnt hurt to say it.
You gave me a kiss for free,
And I wont ever betray it.


Funny...I was reading the poem and was getting the emotion of despair but still hope to fight, now I find the achievement, the words of joy and loyalty

Tonight it all started.
With words that we let go.
Of something so discrete.
That they were never meant to know.
But I'm not mad at you baby.
I never really was.
You make me feel alive.
More then anyone else does.
And little do you know,
I will always be by your side.
I will never feel for anyone else,
Like I feel for you tonight.

Now time for the words of dedication, for some reason, I thought of Ne-Yo or whatever is his name while reading this. Don't know if you'll be offended or complimented by that laugh.gif

He told her to never,
Give her kisses away for free.
I took those words to heart,
This ones on me.

I will never ever leave you.
I wont be dieing anytime soon.
Its like the day has just begun,
But we will make it past noon.

I love you.
And It doesnt hurt to say it.
You gave me a kiss for free,
And I wont ever betray it.

So today you might act,
Like the worlds just falling on you.
Truth is ,
Your wrong.
Its falling on me to.
But today I hope you feel good,
I hope this song makes you feel glad.
I cant help but be in love with you.
Through the good times and the bad.


Good ending, hope she loved it smile.gif

© John Minoia



--------------------
Currently Practicing

Rhythm: Finnish Power Metal III: Nightwish
Legato: Ben's Land Of Legato
Alternate Picking: Alternate Picking Workout #5
Chords: Chord Melody Technique

Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Eat-Sleep-andJam
post Jan 7 2009, 03:39 PM
Post #6


GMC:er
*

Group: Members
Posts: 2.412
Joined: 23-February 07
From: New york
Member No.: 1.243



Thanks Rated. smile.gif

I will c4c one of yours now smile.gif


--------------------
Join Me On the Lyrics Board !


"Find something worth dying for...



...And live for it"
-The Uncreator
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post

Fast ReplyReply to this topicStart new topic
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:

 


RSS Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 30th March 2017 - 03:33 PM