6 Pages V   1 2 3 > »   
Closed TopicStart new topic
> I Gotta Let This Out...
Rated Htr
post Jan 31 2009, 02:22 AM
Post #1


Learning Rock Star
*

Group: Members
Posts: 2.085
Joined: 15-October 07
From: Leiria, Portugal
Member No.: 3.056



Firstly, if you don't wanna read emotional stuff, don't bother reading from this point...Secondly, there's no need for response, I just feel like writing somewhere where people actually read, or atleast enter and see that a frustrated kid needs to write something...

For years, I've lived unhappy, lived without a single purpose to smile, and still, I fought believing it would change. Never been proud of myself in any way, brothers uber genious and than, there's me, the stupid average kid. I've always been mature and wise, so I've been told so it isn't my own words, dedicated my life to helping others and what I got was betrayal, stabbed in the back multiples times by the people that I helped. There are two kinds of people in my life, the puppeters, the ones that use me and dump me when they finish playing with me, that being, when they don't need me to give them advices on how to live and face pain or, the people that keep telling me cliches, keeping feeding stupid hope that "someday" it will all change, "someday" I will find love, "Someday" this, and that and that...SICK OF CLICHES! Sick of listening to people pretending to be my friends. Sick of working, studying every day and getting lousy notes and just hearing "OMG, How can you have those grades? You're a genious!, I just don't get it". Sick of working hard for things I'll never have, sick of dreaming about uthopies, Tired of everything, tired of living...Sick of the fake faces, the fake smiles that wish for my services in their time of pain and leave me in pain when I need someone, tired of feeling jealousy consume me, of imprisoning hatred in me and not letting it all, I just can't take anymore, I'm about to explode...

Just can't take it anymore...


--------------------
Currently Practicing

Rhythm: Finnish Power Metal III: Nightwish
Legato: Ben's Land Of Legato
Alternate Picking: Alternate Picking Workout #5
Chords: Chord Melody Technique

Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Ajmurrell
post Jan 31 2009, 02:33 AM
Post #2


Learning Tone Master
*

Group: Members
Posts: 628
Joined: 15-August 08
From: London, UK
Member No.: 5.702



I won't patronise you but I CAN empathise. I've been there, and I know that may not help you with where you are at personally at this time in your life. I can tell you a little about my story.

I had the same feelings, the same fears, the same feelings towards people.

I don't believe in giving people false hope, telling everyone "It's going to be alright" without just reason, but I HAVE been there and I HAVE got passed it so I honestly, hand on heart, can say that everything can change and you're outlook on life and pleasure gained can be changed.

It sounds like you need help, and I can imagine it might be difficult to ask for it.

The best advice I can give you is to see your doctor, GP, or friend, family member - anyone you trust, and talk to them about how you're feeling.

If you can realise it's Ok to have these feelings, and want them to change, then thats the first step man.

I do hope this helps in some way, but if you don't agree with what I've said, please do consider finding someone to talk to, preferably your family and your doctor.

All the best mate,

Hope you're ok.



--------------------
GMC Travel Agent, at your service.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Rated Htr
post Jan 31 2009, 02:37 AM
Post #3


Learning Rock Star
*

Group: Members
Posts: 2.085
Joined: 15-October 07
From: Leiria, Portugal
Member No.: 3.056



QUOTE (Ajmurrell @ Jan 31 2009, 01:33 AM) *
I won't patronise you but I CAN empathise. I've been there, and I know that may not help you with where you are at personally at this time in your life. I can tell you a little about my story.

I had the same feelings, the same fears, the same feelings towards people.

I don't believe in giving people false hope, telling everyone "It's going to be alright" without just reason, but I HAVE been there and I HAVE got passed it so I honestly, hand on heart, can say that everything can change and you're outlook on life and pleasure gained can be changed.

It sounds like you need help, and I can imagine it might be difficult to ask for it.

The best advice I can give you is to see your doctor, GP, or friend, family member - anyone you trust, and talk to them about how you're feeling.

If you can realise it's Ok to have these feelings, and want them to change, then thats the first step man.

I do hope this helps in some way, but if you don't agree with what I've said, please do consider finding someone to talk to, preferably your family and your doctor.

All the best mate,

Hope you're ok.


My family doesn't know me...

All people I trusted prooved me unworthy of such privledge

What's a doctor gonna do different?

Words can't help anymore...


--------------------
Currently Practicing

Rhythm: Finnish Power Metal III: Nightwish
Legato: Ben's Land Of Legato
Alternate Picking: Alternate Picking Workout #5
Chords: Chord Melody Technique

Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Outlaw2112
post Jan 31 2009, 03:06 AM
Post #4


GMC:er
*

Group: Members
Posts: 1.881
Joined: 16-January 08
From: Washington DC
Member No.: 3.852



These failures could not stop him, he kept moving forward. The following is a short list of his ups and downs and ups.

*1831 – Failed in business
1832 – Defeated for legislature
1833 – Again failed in business
1834 – Elected to legislature
1835 – Sweetheart died
1836 – Had a nervous breakdown
1838 – Defeated for speaker
1840 – Defeated for elector
1843 – Defeated for Congress
1846 – Elected for Congress
1848 – Defeated for Congress
1855 – Defeated for Senate
1856 – Defeated for Vice-President
1858 – Defeated for Senate
1860 – ELECTED PRESIDENT

this was abraham lincoln

bottom line is never give up, good things are gonna happen

He was defeated more times than he won, but that did not mean he was a failure. Remember, that failures are only permanent if we stop trying. I believe the only real failure is the failure not to move on.


--------------------
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
skennington
post Jan 31 2009, 03:09 AM
Post #5


Learning Roadie - Never Give Up - Moderator
Group Icon

Group: GMC Senior
Posts: 7.461
Joined: 25-November 07
From: Charlotte,NC USA
Member No.: 3.374



I've been there too bro. I know you feel no one can help and this is the exact time you have to get your chin off your chest and help yourself. If you walk around feeling like nothing is going to change, it won't! You decided to learn to play guitar, and you have done so. You have got to start thinking about what YOU want out of life and focus on how to get there. Sure, we all run into those that want to betray, batter, beat, bruise and any other things you can think of to us, you just have to realize that's not the kind of the people you want to associate yourself with and move on. smile.gif


I'm not trying to lecture you but life goes by too fast and is too precious to have to constantly be worrying about the negative side of it. Sure, we will have our good and bad days, but try to keep a positive mindset on the future and what you want out of it!

As far as parent's go, well I never really had any that were their either. My dad was killed when I was 12 and that really sent me into a spiral, I want get into that ,but the thing is, I recovered not by any doctor, but by realizing what I wanted and focusing on how to get it..

If you need to talk anytime man, feel free to pm me.. smile.gif


Cheers,
Steve


--------------------
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Rated Htr
post Jan 31 2009, 03:12 AM
Post #6


Learning Rock Star
*

Group: Members
Posts: 2.085
Joined: 15-October 07
From: Leiria, Portugal
Member No.: 3.056



QUOTE (Outlaw2112 @ Jan 31 2009, 02:06 AM) *
These failures could not stop him, he kept moving forward. The following is a short list of his ups and downs and ups.

*1831 – Failed in business
1832 – Defeated for legislature
1833 – Again failed in business
1834 – Elected to legislature
1835 – Sweetheart died
1836 – Had a nervous breakdown
1838 – Defeated for speaker
1840 – Defeated for elector
1843 – Defeated for Congress
1846 – Elected for Congress
1848 – Defeated for Congress
1855 – Defeated for Senate
1856 – Defeated for Vice-President
1858 – Defeated for Senate
1860 – ELECTED PRESIDENT

this was abraham lincoln

bottom line is never give up, good things are gonna happen

He was defeated more times than he won, but that did not mean he was a failure. Remember, that failures are only permanent if we stop trying. I believe the only real failure is the failure not to move on.


Heard it before but you're forgetting the part that, he failed in something for the people, not for himself, he didn't have to be president in order to live, he never had to have any of those achievements, in order to be happy, I just keep failing at criticals areas that prevent me from being happy...The problem is not stopping, I'll never stop trying, the problem is now, where the limit has been achieved and the mind and body just can't take anymore...


--------------------
Currently Practicing

Rhythm: Finnish Power Metal III: Nightwish
Legato: Ben's Land Of Legato
Alternate Picking: Alternate Picking Workout #5
Chords: Chord Melody Technique

Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Sircraigery
post Jan 31 2009, 03:13 AM
Post #7


GMC:er
*

Group: Members
Posts: 673
Joined: 12-May 07
Member No.: 1.835



QUOTE (Rated Htr @ Jan 31 2009, 02:37 AM) *
My family doesn't know me...

All people I trusted prooved me unworthy of such privledge

What's a doctor gonna do different?

Words can't help anymore...


Sounds to me that you hang out with pricks and that ain't you man. Believe it or not there are cool people still, but they are kinda hard to find when your in school. Just gotta look for them bud.

Don't worry about competing with your bro either. I'm sure you can kick ass at guitar biggrin.gif


Edited for language/skennington

This post has been edited by skennington: Jan 31 2009, 03:36 AM


--------------------
Guitars:
Ibanez Prestige RG2610E [BKP Cold Sweat]
Ibanez Prestige RG2550E [Carbon Fiber Plastics]
Ibanez Roadstar II RS-135 [Stock]
Quest Acoustic [Stock]

Effects:
Electro-Harmonix Metal Muff
Ibanez Weeping Demon Wah
Boss DR-3 Dr. Rhythym

Amp:
Marshall JCM2000 DSL 401

'Only the dead have seen the end of the war.' - Plato
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Rated Htr
post Jan 31 2009, 03:14 AM
Post #8


Learning Rock Star
*

Group: Members
Posts: 2.085
Joined: 15-October 07
From: Leiria, Portugal
Member No.: 3.056



QUOTE (skennington @ Jan 31 2009, 02:09 AM) *
I've been there too bro. I know you feel no one can help and this is the exact time you have to get your chin off your chest and help yourself. If you walk around feeling like nothing is going to change, it won't! You decided to learn to play guitar, and you have done so. You have got to start thinking about what YOU want out of life and focus on how to get there. Sure, we all run into those that want to betray, batter, beat, bruise and any other things you can think of to us, you just have to realize that's not the kind of the people you want to associate yourself with and move on. smile.gif


I'm not trying to lecture you but life goes by too fast and is too precious to have to constantly be worrying about the negative side of it. Sure, we will have our good and bad days, but try to keep a positive mindset on the future and what you want out of it!

As far as parent's go, well I never really had any that were their either. My dad was killed when I was 12 and that really sent me into a spiral, I want get into that ,but the thing is, I recovered not by any doctor, but by realizing what I wanted and focusing on how to get it..

If you need to talk anytime man, feel free to pm me.. smile.gif


Cheers,
Steve


What I want in life, majorly, doesn't depend on me...It isn't decided by my hands...


--------------------
Currently Practicing

Rhythm: Finnish Power Metal III: Nightwish
Legato: Ben's Land Of Legato
Alternate Picking: Alternate Picking Workout #5
Chords: Chord Melody Technique

Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Outlaw2112
post Jan 31 2009, 03:19 AM
Post #9


GMC:er
*

Group: Members
Posts: 1.881
Joined: 16-January 08
From: Washington DC
Member No.: 3.852



QUOTE (Rated Htr @ Jan 31 2009, 03:14 AM) *
What I want in life, majorly, doesn't depend on me...It isn't decided by my hands...

It is decided by your hands... you can do anything you want to, just gotta put your mind to it and do it..

as far as friends go, they will come and go and you will find out who your true friends are... keep your head up, and keep a positive attitude, good things will happen

and for the people who did you wrong, karma is true and things will come back on them


--------------------
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
OrganisedConfusi...
post Jan 31 2009, 03:23 AM
Post #10


GMC:er
*

Group: Members
Posts: 5.635
Joined: 29-November 07
From: Nottingham, UK
Member No.: 3.401



I cant help you im afraid but everything you feel is how i feel in my life. I am so completely empty. Im miserable beyond believe. I could never hurt myself but i do pray all the time that i will be stabbed to death or you never know find a life. I wish you all the best and try and do something that you always dreamed of doing this year. It will help.

This post has been edited by OrganisedConfusion: Jan 31 2009, 03:27 AM


--------------------
Gear
Guitars:- Caparison Horus Snowcloud, Parker Nitefly M, Parker Nitefly SA, Gibson SG, Parker P10e, 40 Year Old Spanish Acoustic
Amps:- Framus Ruby Riot 2x12" stack
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Rated Htr
post Jan 31 2009, 03:26 AM
Post #11


Learning Rock Star
*

Group: Members
Posts: 2.085
Joined: 15-October 07
From: Leiria, Portugal
Member No.: 3.056



QUOTE (Outlaw2112 @ Jan 31 2009, 02:19 AM) *
It is decided by your hands... you can do anything you want to, just gotta put your mind to it and do it..

as far as friends go, they will come and go and you will find out who your true friends are... keep your head up, and keep a positive attitude, good things will happen

and for the people who did you wrong, karma is true and things will come back on them


I could tell you a few things and you'd see why I say that...

@OC
I remember you doing a similar topic, and the difference is, people support you, you take value away from yourself because of the facts that happen in your life, it's like your anoretic and don't see your own value, and even if your life sucks, you've seen that GMC is a place you can call home, that speaking in your case.


--------------------
Currently Practicing

Rhythm: Finnish Power Metal III: Nightwish
Legato: Ben's Land Of Legato
Alternate Picking: Alternate Picking Workout #5
Chords: Chord Melody Technique

Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Outlaw2112
post Jan 31 2009, 03:28 AM
Post #12


GMC:er
*

Group: Members
Posts: 1.881
Joined: 16-January 08
From: Washington DC
Member No.: 3.852



QUOTE (OrganisedConfusion @ Jan 31 2009, 03:23 AM) *
I cant help you im afraid but everything you feel is how i feel in my life. I am pm completely empty. Im miserable beyond believe. I could never hurt myself but i do pray all the time that i will be stabbed to death or you never know find a life. I wish you all the best and try and do something that you always dreamed of doing this year. It will help.

why would you pray that you will be stabbed to death?

Life is a gift, and you guys are soo young... enjoy life and get the most out of it you can.


--------------------
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
skennington
post Jan 31 2009, 03:30 AM
Post #13


Learning Roadie - Never Give Up - Moderator
Group Icon

Group: GMC Senior
Posts: 7.461
Joined: 25-November 07
From: Charlotte,NC USA
Member No.: 3.374



QUOTE (Rated Htr @ Jan 30 2009, 09:14 PM) *
What I want in life, majorly, doesn't depend on me...It isn't decided by my hands...



WHAT!!! It entirely depends on you and is decided by your hands! I don't know your situation man, but I have seen your forum presence, and heard your playing, so I know you are not locked down and being controlled. If you let negative influence into your life, and allow it to dictate your decisions, it will burn you up!

Sometimes we have to just go against the grain and take what we think is the right path for our future. You should only compete against yourself, If you do your best and loose, then so be it, take some satisfaction in that and work on what it will take to make you better.

Like others have said, friends come and go, if they are true friends, then they will be there for you. If not, you didn't need them anyway!


--------------------
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Rated Htr
post Jan 31 2009, 03:34 AM
Post #14


Learning Rock Star
*

Group: Members
Posts: 2.085
Joined: 15-October 07
From: Leiria, Portugal
Member No.: 3.056



QUOTE (skennington @ Jan 31 2009, 02:30 AM) *
WHAT!!! It entirely depends on you and is decided by your hands! I don't know your situation man, but I have seen your forum presence, and heard your playing, so I know you are not locked down and being controlled. If you let negative influence into your life, and allow it to dictate your decisions, it will burn you up!

Sometimes we have to just go against the grain and take what we think is the right path for our future. You should only compete against yourself, If you do your best and loose, then so be it, take some satisfaction in that and work on what it will take to make you better.

Like others have said, friends come and go, if they are true friends, then they will be there for you. If not, you didn't need them anyway!


The problem is not the people that stay, nor the people that go...The problem is all people, what they represent, what they defend, the hipocrisy level is so huge...I can't take satisfaction in my playing, atleast not anymore...

And it can't be in my hands...you can't decide your fate, your trip, the roads you choose, you can't decide what people tell you, what you are to people, what you mean, what you're worth...

This post has been edited by Rated Htr: Jan 31 2009, 03:35 AM


--------------------
Currently Practicing

Rhythm: Finnish Power Metal III: Nightwish
Legato: Ben's Land Of Legato
Alternate Picking: Alternate Picking Workout #5
Chords: Chord Melody Technique

Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Outlaw2112
post Jan 31 2009, 03:35 AM
Post #15


GMC:er
*

Group: Members
Posts: 1.881
Joined: 16-January 08
From: Washington DC
Member No.: 3.852



QUOTE (Rated Htr @ Jan 31 2009, 03:26 AM) *
I could tell you a few things and you'd see why I say that...

Doesnt matter what you tell me, everyone has been through rough times in their lives... they only make you stronger
learn from them and keep a positive attitude

Im 40, and i could tell you all kinds of stories about things that have happened to me, i used to not care if i lived or died, used to jam a straw up my nose for years just partying my life away, but its just something you work through and in the end makes you a stronger person... trust me


just remember to keep a positive attitude and things will get better


--------------------
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
OrganisedConfusi...
post Jan 31 2009, 03:39 AM
Post #16


GMC:er
*

Group: Members
Posts: 5.635
Joined: 29-November 07
From: Nottingham, UK
Member No.: 3.401



QUOTE (Outlaw2112 @ Jan 31 2009, 02:28 AM) *
why would you pray that you will be stabbed to death?

Life is a gift, and you guys are soo young... enjoy life and get the most out of it you can.

Because i could never commit suicide and i have no purpose in life. I live for nothing. I have severe depression and i cant get through it.


--------------------
Gear
Guitars:- Caparison Horus Snowcloud, Parker Nitefly M, Parker Nitefly SA, Gibson SG, Parker P10e, 40 Year Old Spanish Acoustic
Amps:- Framus Ruby Riot 2x12" stack
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Ajmurrell
post Jan 31 2009, 03:41 AM
Post #17


Learning Tone Master
*

Group: Members
Posts: 628
Joined: 15-August 08
From: London, UK
Member No.: 5.702



A doctor can determine whether or not what you're feeling is normal.

It sounds to me like you could be depressed.

Some people would recommend that just getting on with it yourself might be a good idea, thats fine if you want to do it that way but there IS always help available.

Take a look at these symptoms:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/conditions/men...epression.shtml

See if they meet what you're feeling.

QUOTE (Rated Htr @ Jan 31 2009, 01:37 AM) *
My family doesn't know me...

All people I trusted prooved me unworthy of such privledge

What's a doctor gonna do different?

Words can't help anymore...



Help is available man, have you been to your GP?



QUOTE (OrganisedConfusion @ Jan 31 2009, 02:39 AM) *
Because i could never commit suicide and i have no purpose in life. I live for nothing. I have severe depression and i cant get through it.


This post has been edited by Ajmurrell: Jan 31 2009, 03:41 AM


--------------------
GMC Travel Agent, at your service.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
OrganisedConfusi...
post Jan 31 2009, 03:45 AM
Post #18


GMC:er
*

Group: Members
Posts: 5.635
Joined: 29-November 07
From: Nottingham, UK
Member No.: 3.401



QUOTE (Ajmurrell @ Jan 31 2009, 02:41 AM) *
A doctor can determine whether or not what you're feeling is normal.

It sounds to me like you could be depressed.

Some people would recommend that just getting on with it yourself might be a good idea, thats fine if you want to do it that way but there IS always help available.

Take a look at these symptoms:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/conditions/men...epression.shtml

See if they meet what you're feeling.




Help is available man, have you been to your GP?

My doctor doesnt help. He just prescribes pills after pills. Im a complete mess and have been for 6 or 7 years.


--------------------
Gear
Guitars:- Caparison Horus Snowcloud, Parker Nitefly M, Parker Nitefly SA, Gibson SG, Parker P10e, 40 Year Old Spanish Acoustic
Amps:- Framus Ruby Riot 2x12" stack
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
skennington
post Jan 31 2009, 03:45 AM
Post #19


Learning Roadie - Never Give Up - Moderator
Group Icon

Group: GMC Senior
Posts: 7.461
Joined: 25-November 07
From: Charlotte,NC USA
Member No.: 3.374



QUOTE (Rated Htr @ Jan 30 2009, 09:34 PM) *
The problem is not the people that stay, nor the people that go...The problem is all people, what they represent, what they defend, the hipocrisy level is so huge...I can't take satisfaction in my playing, atleast not anymore...

And it can't be in my hands...you can't decide your fate, your trip, the roads you choose, you can't decide what people tell you, what you are to people, what you mean, what you're worth...




So I see here that you feel your "fate" is predetermined.....Yes you can decide your trip, the roads you choose, what you are to people and what your worth. And NO, you can not decide what people tell you, but you can choose how you interpret it. If it's negative, let it roll off like a drop of rain. If you feel like it's positive, then take some of it in, you have that choice man!

Don't look at life from a fate standpoint but more from a destiny point of view. We are not predisposed to our future, it's all in what we make of it bro and I know you want the best for yourself. Don't let outside influence decide for you when you have all the power in the world to choose your own path! smile.gif


--------------------
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Rated Htr
post Jan 31 2009, 03:50 AM
Post #20


Learning Rock Star
*

Group: Members
Posts: 2.085
Joined: 15-October 07
From: Leiria, Portugal
Member No.: 3.056



QUOTE (Ajmurrell @ Jan 31 2009, 02:41 AM) *
A doctor can determine whether or not what you're feeling is normal.

It sounds to me like you could be depressed.

Some people would recommend that just getting on with it yourself might be a good idea, thats fine if you want to do it that way but there IS always help available.

Take a look at these symptoms:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/conditions/men...epression.shtml

See if they meet what you're feeling.




Help is available man, have you been to your GP?


My feelings match more a bypolar diagnostic, readh those things lots of times, did many tests, not the first time...

Sorry man but don't even know what a GP is...

@Sken
You don't get it...It's not like, people influencing me to choose a path, it's like making a path to somewhere that doesn't exist, the path I wanna make, any path I wanna make, leads to uthopies...


--------------------
Currently Practicing

Rhythm: Finnish Power Metal III: Nightwish
Legato: Ben's Land Of Legato
Alternate Picking: Alternate Picking Workout #5
Chords: Chord Melody Technique

Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post

6 Pages V   1 2 3 > » 
Closed TopicStart new topic
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:

 


RSS Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 16th January 2017 - 06:16 PM