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javari
post Jan 31 2009, 01:10 PM
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QUOTE (Rated Htr @ Jan 31 2009, 01:02 PM) *
Trying something or getting up will only result back to this...


Your thoughts about yourself and about the world are going around in circles.
Because you expect to fail, you will see only failure.

I.ve been down that road.
In that sense goning to a doctor and get some medicens can really help.
It will help you to get out of that thoughtpattern.

Just do it, if you don't, there will be a moment that your body and mind will give you a strong warning. At that time it will be much harder.

Get some help to get you out of that negative spiral in your thinking. (this is experience speaking)

good luck...


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dogman
post Jan 31 2009, 01:30 PM
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QUOTE (Rated Htr @ Jan 31 2009, 06:52 AM) *
I don't want everything that I want to happen, I want one thing...ONE THING...Is that to much to ask?



I dont know what that is that you're asking for but if you want it bad enough then do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If it is something that is out of your control. then accept what you can not change and do the best you can with what you have to find another way to acheive that goal.

If you've done the best you can, that makes you the best person you can be and be damn proud of that. No one can take that away.

This post has been edited by dogman: Jan 31 2009, 01:31 PM
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SonofDestiny
post Jan 31 2009, 02:07 PM
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Rated Htr... I'm feeling you man. I know what it's like to be in your situation.

Look, one thing you gotta stop, is thinking about the 'someday'. You're living right now man. You gotta be in the moment to enjoy life to the full extent. This isn't a cliché.

Another thing you definately have to change is that attitude of 'everyone is fake'. Dude, if you think like that, the odds of everyone being fake in your world are enormous, because you WANT to see it.

The stuff on this site has helped me a lot in becoming more positive. Check it out: www.brainsync.com

One last thing... chill out man smile.gif You're going to be just fine. You're only 17 and are experiencing a lot of changes physically and mentally. And I know, because I've been there and I'm still going through it. When I feel really bad I just consider my mood fluctuations as hormonal changes... works for me... but it may be a bit too rational to you.

Anyway, I hope this helps. It's probably an incoherent piece of writing here, but I'm tired and exploding as well biggrin.gif

This post has been edited by SonofDestiny: Jan 31 2009, 02:08 PM


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Rated Htr
post Jan 31 2009, 02:13 PM
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@Javari
I see logical patterns in everything, I only expect to fail if I see such pattern...
Going to a doctor isn't an option...

@Dogman
People need to live knowing they have something good in their lives, that's what I'm asking, a reason to think living is good...

@SoD
I don't think everyone is fake, but most people end up being fakes but I don't generate that, it's just how I feel.
I don't think about that "someday" anymore, that's what people keep saying, I've learned to accept that t won't change


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MickeM
post Jan 31 2009, 02:49 PM
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QUOTE (Rated Htr @ Jan 31 2009, 02:13 PM) *
@Javari
I see logical patterns in everything, I only expect to fail if I see such pattern...
Going to a doctor isn't an option...

*snip*

@SoD
I don't think everyone is fake, but most people end up being fakes but I don't generate that, it's just how I feel.
I don't think about that "someday" anymore, that's what people keep saying, I've learned to accept that t won't change

Going to a doctor may help in the sense of putting a name to whatever makes you feel alienated. ADHD, Asperger or whatever four letter diagnosis there is.
Saying a doctor isn't an option sounds to me like a rather defensive position.
If something is wrong you would want to know, right?
And if there's something that can be medicated you would want to know, right?

There are plenty of people with social disturbances that have no idea, and they can feel they don't fit in, they don't get the social interaction that goes on between people and they can find it meaningless.
This in turn can make it difficult to find and aid these people, since they often think the world around them is impossible to understand and it's not them but it's all the people and their purposes that are meaningless - it's not for them.

Seeing that you repeadely say "no" and "it's no use" tells me it maybe is no use or very difficult to reach through. It has to come from within yourself and you have to take the initiative.

Just read this and see if anything makes sense http://pt.wikipedia.org/wiki/S%C3%ADndrome_de_Asperger


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Rated Htr
post Jan 31 2009, 03:07 PM
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QUOTE (SonofDestiny @ Jan 31 2009, 01:07 PM) *
Rated Htr... I'm feeling you man. I know what it's like to be in your situation.

Look, one thing you gotta stop, is thinking about the 'someday'. You're living right now man. You gotta be in the moment to enjoy life to the full extent. This isn't a cliché.

Another thing you definately have to change is that attitude of 'everyone is fake'. Dude, if you think like that, the odds of everyone being fake in your world are enormous, because you WANT to see it.

The stuff on this site has helped me a lot in becoming more positive. Check it out: www.brainsync.com

One last thing... chill out man smile.gif You're going to be just fine. You're only 17 and are experiencing a lot of changes physically and mentally. And I know, because I've been there and I'm still going through it. When I feel really bad I just consider my mood fluctuations as hormonal changes... works for me... but it may be a bit too rational to you.

Anyway, I hope this helps. It's probably an incoherent piece of writing here, but I'm tired and exploding as well biggrin.gif



QUOTE (MickeM @ Jan 31 2009, 01:49 PM) *
Going to a doctor may help in the sense of putting a name to whatever makes you feel alienated. ADHD, Asperger or whatever four letter diagnosis there is.
Saying a doctor isn't an option sounds to me like a rather defensive position.
If something is wrong you would want to know, right?
And if there's something that can be medicated you would want to know, right?

There are plenty of people with social disturbances that have no idea, and they can feel they don't fit in, they don't get the social interaction that goes on between people and they can find it meaningless.
This in turn can make it difficult to find and aid these people, since they often think the world around them is impossible to understand and it's not them but it's all the people and their purposes that are meaningless - it's not for them.

Seeing that you repeadely say "no" and "it's no use" tells me it maybe is no use or very difficult to reach through. It has to come from within yourself and you have to take the initiative.

Just read this and see if anything makes sense http://pt.wikipedia.org/wiki/S%C3%ADndrome_de_Asperger


for me to go to a doctor I would have to tell my parents, and I don't wanna dissapoint them anymore, that's the only reason.

As for the androme, I don't have difficulties in expressing myself, nor do I have difficulties in envolving socially nor many of the things that it's saying on wikipedia, but most of it makes sense and could easily be describing my state



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MickeM
post Jan 31 2009, 03:21 PM
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QUOTE (Rated Htr @ Jan 31 2009, 03:07 PM) *
for me to go to a doctor I would have to tell my parents, and I don't wanna dissapoint them anymore, that's the only reason.

As a parent myself I'd be happy to get involved and be supportive to my kids.
Something I didn't realize when I was a kid, of course. Instead I tried to solved all my problems myself, maybe feeling a bit ashamed. Not so much about disappointing but it was more about I didn't want to worry them.

The fact that you feel bad can't be a disappointment to your parents. I have a very hard time to belive that.


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Rated Htr
post Jan 31 2009, 03:26 PM
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QUOTE (MickeM @ Jan 31 2009, 02:21 PM) *
As a parent myself I'd be happy to get involved and be supportive to my kids.
Something I didn't realize when I was a kid, of course. Instead I tried to solved all my problems myself, maybe feeling a bit ashamed. Not so much about disappointing but it was more about I didn't want to worry them.

The fact that you feel bad can't be a disappointment to your parents. I have a very hard time to belive that.


Even if you're right, I just can't tell them...


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Jesse
post Jan 31 2009, 03:35 PM
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STOP thinking negative, just take the jump, never shot is always a miss!


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Kizaze
post Jan 31 2009, 03:38 PM
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Rated,

This thread makes me sad. Like many of us, I've been there more than once. Life is a rollercoaster. Only you can climb back up top, but it takes effort.

btw - here's a positive - you've got a hell of a way with words. Do you write songs? Poems? Stories? (I'm in the entertainment business - got a nose for talented people - you've got something there.)

Fight your way out of this thing!

-Kiz
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Jesse
post Jan 31 2009, 03:39 PM
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QUOTE (Kizaze @ Jan 31 2009, 03:38 PM) *
Rated,

This thread makes me sad. Like many of us, I've been there more than once. Life is a rollercoaster. Only you can climb back up top, but it takes effort.

btw - here's a positive - you've got a hell of a way with words. Do you write songs? Poems? Stories? (I'm in the entertainment business - got a nose for talented people - you've got something there.)

Fight your way out of this thing!

-Kiz
Would make a great blues track.


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Fsgdjv
post Jan 31 2009, 04:22 PM
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You keep talking about you wanting nothing but something impossible, what is that? What is it that you want but doesn't depend on you? Unless it's getting wings or winning the lottery, I'm pretty sure you can do something about it. It might be hard, but I don't want to believe that it is something you can't do, but it's hard to tell seeing as you never tell what it is you want to much and seems to be the only thing you care about.

And yes, a lot of people are "fake" at least as long as you see them like that. I've been there, then I actually took time to talk a lot to people, first just for the sake of my own entertainment, but then I realised that EVERYBODY have a history and they are who they are because of something, something real, something that isn't fake. I don't think there's a single person in this world who is "fake".


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Rated Htr
post Jan 31 2009, 04:37 PM
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QUOTE (Kizaze @ Jan 31 2009, 02:38 PM) *
Rated,

This thread makes me sad. Like many of us, I've been there more than once. Life is a rollercoaster. Only you can climb back up top, but it takes effort.

btw - here's a positive - you've got a hell of a way with words. Do you write songs? Poems? Stories? (I'm in the entertainment business - got a nose for talented people - you've got something there.)

Fight your way out of this thing!

-Kiz


Yeah I do, have lots of blogs and some lyrics are in the lyrical board

QUOTE (Fsgdjv @ Jan 31 2009, 03:22 PM) *
You keep talking about you wanting nothing but something impossible, what is that? What is it that you want but doesn't depend on you? Unless it's getting wings or winning the lottery, I'm pretty sure you can do something about it. It might be hard, but I don't want to believe that it is something you can't do, but it's hard to tell seeing as you never tell what it is you want to much and seems to be the only thing you care about.

And yes, a lot of people are "fake" at least as long as you see them like that. I've been there, then I actually took time to talk a lot to people, first just for the sake of my own entertainment, but then I realised that EVERYBODY have a history and they are who they are because of something, something real, something that isn't fake. I don't think there's a single person in this world who is "fake".


I want to be happy, I want to arrive home one day and say: I'm proud of myself because I can do this or I am this...That depends on me, true, but people recgonizing that, people's love, you can't control that, even if you work hard.


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Jesse
post Jan 31 2009, 04:58 PM
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Maybe if you tell us, what really it is what you want, we could help you better. Or, write a letter to Dr.Phil . Seems like a Dr.Phil case to me !


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Fsgdjv
post Jan 31 2009, 05:00 PM
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This is a cliché, but it's still true.

You have to learn to love yourself if you want others to love you. Even if some people love you you won't really feel it untill you love yourself. Even if all you want is other people's respect or what I can call it, start respecting yourself. When you do that (for real, it's easy to say you do, but to really do it is a different thing) you won't really be bothered by the people who are to busy with themselves to recognise you. I think you have to work on how you see things, try to frame things differently by your thoughts.

It's not easy I know, it's one of the hardest things one can do. That's the harsh truth, but it can be done. But it can't be done as long as you think it can't, but when you think that, you have to realise that you made that choise, not someone else.

Ugh, this sounds pretty agressive and I don't mean it that way, but that's the insights I've gotten in my 19 year old life, can't say I'm very experienced but I feel I know a bit on reframing the way of thinking, as I've been working on doing that myself quite a bit. The most amazing part is that it works.


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Rated Htr
post Jan 31 2009, 05:06 PM
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QUOTE (Fsgdjv @ Jan 31 2009, 04:00 PM) *
This is a cliché, but it's still true.

You have to learn to love yourself if you want others to love you. Even if some people love you you won't really feel it untill you love yourself. Even if all you want is other people's respect or what I can call it, start respecting yourself. When you do that (for real, it's easy to say you do, but to really do it is a different thing) you won't really be bothered by the people who are to busy with themselves to recognise you. I think you have to work on how you see things, try to frame things differently by your thoughts.

It's not easy I know, it's one of the hardest things one can do. That's the harsh truth, but it can be done. But it can't be done as long as you think it can't, but when you think that, you have to realise that you made that choise, not someone else.

Ugh, this sounds pretty agressive and I don't mean it that way, but that's the insights I've gotten in my 19 year old life, can't say I'm very experienced but I feel I know a bit on reframing the way of thinking, as I've been working on doing that myself quite a bit. The most amazing part is that it works.


I'm very experienced myself and heard stuff like than and said stuff like that before, so I'm ready to counter it.
All you said is true IMO, but the problem is, in my mind, I can only do all those things, respect myself, love myself, by the logic of the horse...Can't do it without others thinking the same ,acting for the reason, not just saying...


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Marek Rojewski
post Jan 31 2009, 05:11 PM
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I pretty much agree with Fsgdjv. It really depends on Your own thinking, no one will be able to help You if You don't try to help Yourself and let other people to help... There is nothing as hard as changing the ways of thinking, especially when You think You are "right".

This is the biggest problem in "deep depression" - You close any way of solving the situation, all of them are bad/wrong/unworthy/not working. I actually never had the strength to do it, but I know it works... But I had to take a long trip without anyone else to calm down, have the time to think about everything and had no other thing that could distract me...

EDIT after seeing another post:
I'm very experienced myself and heard stuff like than and said stuff like that before, so I'm ready to counter it.
All you said is true IMO, but the problem is, in my mind, I can only do all those things, respect myself, love myself, by the logic of the horse...Can't do it without others thinking the same ,acting for the reason, not just saying...


Well You can, just have to try harder than hard.... I don't like psychologists ( they know to much and tell You thing You don't want to hear:P ) but there are some of them that You could visit, without saying anything to your parents, in Poland there are many youth-centers where You can get such help for free. If Poland has such, I am sure Portugal will have these also.

This post has been edited by Marek Rojewski: Jan 31 2009, 05:14 PM


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Rated Htr
post Jan 31 2009, 05:17 PM
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QUOTE (Marek Rojewski @ Jan 31 2009, 04:11 PM) *
I pretty much agree with Fsgdjv. It really depends on Your own thinking, no one will be able to help You if You don't try to help Yourself and let other people to help... There is nothing as hard as changing the ways of thinking, especially when You think You are "right".

This is the biggest problem in "deep depression" - You close any way of solving the situation, all of them are bad/wrong/unworthy/not working. I actually never had the strength to do it, but I know it works... But I had to take a long trip without anyone else to calm down, have the time to think about everything and had no other thing that could distract me...

EDIT after seeing another post:
I'm very experienced myself and heard stuff like than and said stuff like that before, so I'm ready to counter it.
All you said is true IMO, but the problem is, in my mind, I can only do all those things, respect myself, love myself, by the logic of the horse...Can't do it without others thinking the same ,acting for the reason, not just saying...


Well You can, just have to try harder than hard.... I don't like psychologists ( they know to much and tell You thing You don't want to hear:P ) but there are some of them that You could visit, without saying anything to your parents, in Poland there are many youth-centers where You can get such help for free. If Poland has such, I am sure Portugal will have these also.


Try harder? What can I do More? Act like people's dogs?
I already searched...no use, nothing of the kind, atleast not in my city...


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Fsgdjv
post Jan 31 2009, 05:35 PM
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QUOTE (Rated Htr @ Jan 31 2009, 05:06 PM) *
I'm very experienced myself and heard stuff like than and said stuff like that before, so I'm ready to counter it.
All you said is true IMO, but the problem is, in my mind, I can only do all those things, respect myself, love myself, by the logic of the horse...Can't do it without others thinking the same ,acting for the reason, not just saying...


I'm not sure if I understand what you mean, since I don't know what the logic of the horse is, but I suppose you mean you can't love and respect yourself unless somebody else does it.

And if that's the case, I still think it's a matter of framing. I don't have many people that "love and respect me" in an obvious way, other than the fact that I can be eternally happy that I have great parents who do, and I can imagine if you can't talk about everything with your parents it definetly gets a lot harder. But you still have to find those little things. Just getting a lot of replies to a topic like this in this forum is a sign that people care, start with that as some sign of respect and try to find it everywhere.

For example, just someone saying hello is something I take as a sign of approval, even respect. Often it's just a shallow thing people do, but if I can take it as something good that improves my self image, then I'm going to do that, at least it doesn't hurt. You won't hear that "you are an amazing person" or something like that very often, but you can try to find sings of that everywhere. Just somebody you don't know holding up a door for you can be taken as something like that, you just have to be creative. If you tell me no things like this ever happen, then you jsut need to find a new way to frame your thinking.

For one, I can say that I respect anyone who has the guts to write a topic about problems like this on a message board, I've been thinking about doing things like this many times but always chickened out, I really respect that, and admire everyone who are able to do that. First of all it's definetly a sign of someone trying hard to improve, and that is definetly something most people don't do. I had a friend who had a depression for many years, but nobody could see that. Showing it is a sign of strength, not weakness. This may not be much, but it's something, and take the fact that somebody respects and approves of some part of you, even if it's just some random person on an internet forum, and try to find these signs everywhere.


I don't know if I'm any help or not, but I just wanted to write down my thoughts, and I mean everything I wrote here from the bottom of my heart. Seriously, this stuff works.


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Jesse
post Jan 31 2009, 05:37 PM
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The way you are acting now, is not really helping. And if you keep being defensive towards help from others people will stop trying to help you, You should wake up tomorrow, and think, Ok clean sheet, lets start positive, and just conquer the world as best as you can. Might sound hard but its true. JUST DO IT.... get a Nike bag. Hang it in your room, and everytime you wake up you see it and reminds you to "Just do it!"

This post has been edited by Jesse: Jan 31 2009, 05:37 PM


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