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Fsgdjv
post Jan 31 2009, 05:42 PM
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QUOTE (Jesse @ Jan 31 2009, 05:37 PM) *
The way you are acting now, is not really helping. And if you keep being defensive towards help from others people will stop trying to help you, You should wake up tomorrow, and think, Ok clean sheet, lets start positive, and just conquer the world as best as you can. Might sound hard but its true. JUST DO IT.... get a Nike bag. Hang it in your room, and everytime you wake up you see it and reminds you to "Just do it!"


I don't want to come off as rude or anything, but acting like things like this is super easy doesn't help either. Rome wasn't built in a day, and changing a life like this will require blood, toil, tears and sweat, but it can be done. But pretending like something is a lot easier than it is never helps either.


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crazytrain101
post Jan 31 2009, 05:44 PM
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I really don't know if this is a cliche or not but, screw the other people in your life, live your life for yourself. If you can just worry about yourself and just "find" yourself in your mind you can find some happiness. I went through a really hard time between 6-9 years old where i couldn't stand to live but then i found myself. That is the only thing you can do. do anything that makes you happy. If others don't like it then it their problem. Another thing is it seems you are annoyed by alot of things. Just let it all go and you can do it.
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Jesse
post Jan 31 2009, 05:47 PM
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QUOTE (Fsgdjv @ Jan 31 2009, 05:42 PM) *
I don't want to come off as rude or anything, but acting like things like this is super easy doesn't help either. Rome wasn't built in a day, and changing a life like this will require blood, toil, tears and sweat, but it can be done. But pretending like something is a lot easier than it is never helps either.


I know. I dont act like its super easy. Ive spoken alot to him, and tried many things. I feel like he, reached a point where he's just got to say. Ok "screw" this. I mean were no psychologists. I don't say its easy, but you got to start ... sooner or later. What else would you try?!


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Rated Htr
post Jan 31 2009, 07:38 PM
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@Fsgdjv
The problem isn't people saying it...People say good things all the time, the problem is it being only speach. It's like, I tell you you're an excelent person and we should go out lots of times but I prefer to go out with bad people than you, what's the logic of that?

@Jesse
Jesse, I'm not trying to blow everyone away, I appreciate all the responses because people are trying to help but, the fact is, you can't just say cheer up, make this and this, if you do this it will be fine because, you just don't know...I've reached a point, where my strength to do that is just not enough anymore.

@crazytrain101
Yup, it's a cliche to me. "Live your life, not other people's lives". The only thing that kept me alive, was being able to help, most of my friendships were made by my advices on life, the problem is, I don't want a life where all my friendships are based on me being a shrink to people, and only being needed in bad times.


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Marek Rojewski
post Jan 31 2009, 08:17 PM
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Well this is a problem, but well that is the way it is... Most people will spend time with a sad person when they are also sad, because of understanding and feeling alike. You are the helping kind, always understand all the bad things and because of relatively big experience with them You have some advices how to overcome the odds. I was like that also few years ago...
Than You help those people, they feel better.. They most probably try to help You, but again most people wont be able to stand Your mood for to long. I had friends like that.. They just couldn't spend more time with me, as they wanted to play, to enjoy their time, and I was a bottomless pit of grumbling. So maybe a good advice is to not show Your sad feelings so much, I know it feels bit "wrong" but people will not want to spend time with a really depressed person...

Hope it makes sense:/


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Rated Htr
post Jan 31 2009, 08:32 PM
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Like I said before: Easier said than done...


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Rated Htr
post Jan 31 2009, 09:16 PM
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QUOTE (MickeM @ Jan 31 2009, 01:49 PM) *
Going to a doctor may help in the sense of putting a name to whatever makes you feel alienated. ADHD, Asperger or whatever four letter diagnosis there is.
Saying a doctor isn't an option sounds to me like a rather defensive position.
If something is wrong you would want to know, right?
And if there's something that can be medicated you would want to know, right?

There are plenty of people with social disturbances that have no idea, and they can feel they don't fit in, they don't get the social interaction that goes on between people and they can find it meaningless.
This in turn can make it difficult to find and aid these people, since they often think the world around them is impossible to understand and it's not them but it's all the people and their purposes that are meaningless - it's not for them.

Seeing that you repeadely say "no" and "it's no use" tells me it maybe is no use or very difficult to reach through. It has to come from within yourself and you have to take the initiative.

Just read this and see if anything makes sense http://pt.wikipedia.org/wiki/S%C3%ADndrome_de_Asperger


The one in portuguese differs alot from the one in english...

The english one is frightenly simmiliar to me, I'm getting afraid o.o


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MickeM
post Jan 31 2009, 11:54 PM
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QUOTE (Rated Htr @ Jan 31 2009, 09:16 PM) *
The one in portuguese differs alot from the one in english...

The english one is frightenly simmiliar to me, I'm getting afraid o.o

I thought the Portuguese was almost the same, sorry, good thing you found the english one then.

All stages doesn't have to be fully developed but it also counts in degrees of the full thing.
There was a documentary on the TV some time ago about this man who grew up feeling all alienated, he couldn't socialize - he saw his smaller brothers get friends while he didn't understand the play. He had to learn everything and make acts to fit in.
F.ex (made up by me, not in the documentary) if a stranger on the bus had mentioned the weather he could think "just look out the window and see for yourself, it's sunny" but feel very insecure about what to say. But after learning the play of socializing he'd know how to act, be polite and reply something, it's just small talk "Yes, it's a very nice day we're having hope tomorrow will be the same". Not neccessarily because he likes the sun or hope tomorrow will be the same. He might prefer rain so he can spend his time inside without seeing useless people.

But having learned hot to interact and what to say he could function just like any normal person would, spite his Asperger syndrome.
Just by looking at him or talking to him you couldn't tell. Because he was putting on an act and pretending real well.

Just one example of things. Another is to only see things as black or white, friend or foe. Nothing in between.
You read it so you know.
Awareness is key they say. Knowing about it and you're able to deal with it. Not knowing everything just feels wierd. And it's difficult for doctors to makea diagnosis, appearantly it takes quite a long time to determine. So don't be scared or upset, if you want to deal with it (maybe just to rule it out) there are specialists to discuss with.


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Rated Htr
post Feb 1 2009, 03:02 AM
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Life just got worst...The person I love went out with me today and I discovered she has a new boyfriend...Life is beautiful ain't it?


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skennington
post Feb 1 2009, 03:26 AM
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Life is beautiful man! I know it sucks at the moment, but it will open other doors of opportunity! Check out this tune...Nikki Sixx, bass player from an 80's hair band, Motley Crue was a heroin addict. Had everything he could possibly imagine but wasn't happy. He kicked the habit and now is touring with his new band as well as MC. Anything can be overcome Fillepe, keep your chin up bro and don't do anything stupid!




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fatb0t
post Feb 1 2009, 05:30 AM
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This video almost always grounds me. Changes my perspective... Gets me to stop thinking about myself and realize life is finite and if you don't make the most of it - take responsibility, do it for yourself - it will be totally wasted.

Find what you love, do it as much as possible - happiness will follow.

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Rated Htr
post Feb 1 2009, 11:08 AM
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ChrisVdS
post Feb 1 2009, 12:05 PM
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I know what it's like most of my life i have decicated myself to other people, helped them when they needed help while they never called to ask how i was doing. In my short life i'm only 24 years old i had to expirience what allot of people expirience at much later ages like my mother died slowly and painfully i watched her fall apart day by day for a year long and i can't explain how anything could be worse then that after that happend my grandfather passed away and latr 4 of my friends it made me believe for a while that i was made just to suffer.

But as i got older i met a few girls and got into a few relationships with ended badly and then i met her the girl i tought to be the one friday she left me for someone else and even tough this hurts i'm not going to let it bring me down to become that boy that never says a word because i know that aint me before my mom died i was happy i told jokes at the table when we were eating etc basically much happier.

Well all i'm trying to say is things will get better for you just never loose hope and believe in what you want to accomplish i live my life knowing that someone took care of me untill her last breath and for that i try to be the best person i can and live a good life because i owe it to her.

Greetz
Chris

This post has been edited by ChrisVdS: Feb 1 2009, 12:08 PM


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Rated Htr
post Feb 1 2009, 12:14 PM
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The difference between what you say and what I claim is that, you had it and you lost it, and I'm sorry for that, I never had it to begin with...You believe and have hope because you know that, if you haf it once, you can have it again...One who never had nothing, can't believe in nothing...


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Jesse
post Feb 1 2009, 12:52 PM
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QUOTE (Rated Htr @ Feb 1 2009, 12:14 PM) *
The difference between what you say and what I claim is that, you had it and you lost it, and I'm sorry for that, I never had it to begin with...You believe and have hope because you know that, if you haf it once, you can have it again...One who never had nothing, can't believe in nothing...


You have to stop thinking that. This is a downwards spiral, I'd really advice you to get professional help.


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Rated Htr
post Feb 1 2009, 01:01 PM
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QUOTE (Jesse @ Feb 1 2009, 11:52 AM) *
You have to stop thinking that. This is a downwards spiral, I'd really advice you to get professional help.


Would, if I could...


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Jesse
post Feb 1 2009, 01:31 PM
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Just tell us why you can't. We might know a solution.


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Rated Htr
post Feb 1 2009, 01:45 PM
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Why I can't what?


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Jesse
post Feb 1 2009, 01:53 PM
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Why you can't go seek professional advice!


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Rated Htr
post Feb 1 2009, 01:54 PM
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No money, Don't want my parents to know...


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