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OrganisedConfusi...
post Feb 11 2009, 10:15 AM
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QUOTE (Les Paul @ Feb 11 2009, 03:16 AM) *
Dude, hang in there. Your depression will go away.

I had a depression last autumn, and it lasted about a month before it went away. Having a depression was bit strange for me as I am usually very happy person, even when things were bad. When my depression hit me, I didn’t want to do my usual hobbies that made me happy. I had overwhelming “gray” feeling over me, but went away. I did some research and usually depression lasts about 4 to 6 weeks but goes away eventually.

Everyone will feel depressed sometimes, this is normal, so hang in there.

Unfortunately mine has been for 4-6 years sad.gif But I'm still trying my best to get through it.


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Zynex
post Feb 11 2009, 10:48 AM
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Thing is OC, that these are the problems almost everyone gets at a certain point in their lives. They are the most common of all issues. The time to get over it depends on how you deal with them. You are still a young guy, and you still have so much ahead of you.

This may sound a bit cliché but that's because it's true. People are always looking for new and better chances. Instead of thinking about the things that bother you, you could try looking through a different perspective. You are healty... Youve got tallent, and from what I noticed on the forum you have a good personallity. Your heart is on the right place.

About the whole girlfriend troubles. We all have them sometime! wink.gif It's better to wait, and when the time comes you will find someone who is good for you. Don't worry too much about what you have to offer. you are YOU, and it would be wrong to try and be someone else. That would be like lying to yourself. Don't force anything. There is no such thing as "the right age" to get a girlfriend, or get married.


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Kaneda
post Feb 11 2009, 12:07 PM
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I don't know you that well, and I'm (thankfully) not a psychologist. So I'll make a lot of assumptions here, and I may be completely off (in that case, excuse me), but here goes...

QUOTE (OrganisedConfusion @ Feb 9 2009, 04:04 PM) *
1. My job is terrible. I get paid really well but it's the most depressing work I could possibly imagine and the manager complains at me daily and never tries to help out and he has had a general dislike of me from the start. I HAVE to find a new job. I can't carry on living with this job as every day makes me feel suicidal. I have to change this.


There's a strange paradox in that type of situation, which is: The people who tend to stick to their job even if they hate it, are often also the kind of people who would have a very easy time finding another one. Because that kind of person is exactly the kind many employers want the most. There's a strange sense of commitment -- which trancends the money issue you mention, whether you realize it or not -- and it's in effect no matter if you like the job or not. Which means you really ought to use that commitment on something you like tongue.gif There's no point in staying at a place you don't like -- especially in your case. It's no good for you, your workplace or your colleagues.

QUOTE
2. My money isn't good as it is and if I lose my job I'm screwed. This next payday in 2 weeks I have finally got into the plus for the first time in 6 years which should be a great moment for me but worrying about losing a job I don't want is overpowering this feeling as I know I'll be thrown back into this awful living and I have so much outgoing each month that I can't cancel and the biggest one doesn't end for good until October time sad.gif


Which is why you may need to find a different job before you quit this one. But as others said, the smallest component of "awful living" is the money. Work tends to be half our waking hours -- at least -- so it should be worth it. And complement -- not counteract -- what we do in our spare time.

QUOTE
3. I have lost my love for guitar and more shockingly music. I never listen to music anymore. When people around me play it I get annoyed and tell them to turn it off. I hate the music I play in the band I'm in and I hate that we are now predominantly a covers band. This is dragging me down and the fact I'm useless on guitar after playing for near 7 years is demoralising also as I used to play for very large periods of time each day and I seem to have gone backwards.


The backwards part comes with any instrument at some point -- it's the exact point that needs the hardest work to get past. But it's not helping if the rest of your life is dragging you down, and I still see the work issue being the main part, because it will drain your energy for all the other stuff -- the stuff that actually matters.

QUOTE
4. I have like 1 friend that I care about and that is it and this means most weekends I just sit infront of the TV playing games for 2 days straight with about 4 hours for sleep in between.


Many people have 150 "friends" they don't care about at all, some have none at all. You're much better off than both of them.

QUOTE
5. I haven't had a girlfriend in like 5 years and I am getting older and older quickly but unfortunately I am an ugly loser with nothing to offer to anyone.


Here's the lack of energy and depression talking. In my mind, you need to take care of the rest of your issues, and then you'll have lots to offer.

And, as others have said, there's no "right" time to have a girlfriend, get married (if at all), or any of that. And "youth" seems to me to expand with each generation, to the point where the 20's are the new teens, the 30's are the new 20's etc. In other words, at the moment, you have all the time in the world.

QUOTE
I have just lost everything over the last 5 or 6 years. I feel I did a degree that is useless even though it is a great degree to have I just don't feel I am good enough at it and I don't think it offers me many opportunities where I am now. And also I hate the UK and want to move badly anywhere else.


I'm almost positive that you feel you're not good enough at it for two reasons:

1. You're not using it -- and you should
2. You're a perfectionist, which goes with the territory of commitment mentioned above. You'll generally want to please -- and impress -- everyone or as many as possible.

Recommendation: Pick up a few job ads, write an application for some of them, and try to get to an interview, even (or especially) if the job is really not for you. Like, your qualifications might match, but they want you to wear a suit and tie to work; you don't like their business style or whatever. But do go even if you think you're "not qualified enough". In short, go to an interview, knowing that you don't want the job. There's no pressure, nothing you can "fail" at. Just present yourself as you are, don't exaggerate anything.

You might get the job (and then you can decline), you might not (and it's no big loss), but I think you'll be surprised how interested most interviewers will be in what you have to offer. And you'll have some valuable experience for the job interview that does matter.

QUOTE
I just feel that over my whole life I have made wrong decision after wrong decision and I wonder whether things will ever be good for me.


They always will.

There's a concept known as "existential crisis", which generally happens a couple of times in a lifetime. A lot of people know one of those cases as "midlife crisis". It's generally when you reach a point where you start questioning if your priorities in life have been the right ones.

Everyone (except the most shallow ones wink.gif) gets -- at the very least -- one. Because life is constant learning. And, to my mind, the earlier you get such a crisis, the better for you. The ones worse off are those who have a streamlined path through their life, only to regret their choices at 70. I had a crisis rather early, and ended up changing my priorities to the point where there's not really much of my "personality" left from my teens -- thankfully. Took a lot of thinking; a lot of new, really bad, choices; quite a bit of collateral damage left behind... but I think I ended up a better person. smile.gif

As for "living through chemistry" (because, yes, you may also be dealing with depression here)...

Thankfully, I haven't had a real depression in my life -- other than a couple of brief visits in my teens to what Ann Shulgin calls "the valley of the shadow of death", short (30 minutes or so) bursts of complete meaningless, which are very gracious compared to depression in that they passed, very quickly, by themselves (almost).

I do, however, know plenty of people who have had actual depressions, and what I've come to believe is this:

The way the brain works, the more an area is used, the more it gets strengthened and the more it's likely to be used again to the point of exclusion of other parts. If you stop using a part, it will gradually be weakened and less likely to be used again. That's a very layman way of describing how neurons work.

Now, I compare the clinical type of depression to the mind being stuck in a room with locked doors. A depressed person will need to escape that room and explore others. But the more he stays in that room, the thicker the walls get, the more elaborate the lock gets, and at some point the walls will be so thick and the door so hard to unlock, that trying to get out "naturally" just won't work.

What medicine against depression does then, is unlock the door, or break down the walls if you will. It does this indiscriminately, which explains some of the side effects of such medicine. In any event, you still have to actually leave the room and explore other areas, and resist the temptation to stay in that room again for a while, in order to weaken its walls when medicine is no longer used. That way, the medicine isn't something permanent, but only an aid to let you help yourself "naturally".

I really don't think indiscriminate warnings against use of medicine for depression is helping people.

(EDIT: Few clarifications, and bad grammar-corrections)

This post has been edited by Kaneda: Feb 11 2009, 12:13 PM
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OrganisedConfusi...
post Feb 11 2009, 12:52 PM
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Thanks for the help Kaneda. You made a lot of good points. I have applied for some jobs today so hopefully I get an interview with some companies. I don't particular mind wearing a shirt and tie but I must admit I do prefer more laid back environments as I always feel quite ill and find it hard to breathe with a tie on laugh.gif

Depression is horrible and I always used to believe that it didn't exist but I am well and truly battling it. And no matter how your brain keeps thinking it's stupid you still carry on feeling very miserable. I even know why the depression started but that doesn't seem to help. I used to have loads of friends I cared about and played football, tennis, and other sports every day with them so I was really fit. Now I have one great friend who I'm too scared to move away from even though I want some new challenges in America and I'm a beer swilling, curry eating freak now laugh.gif I don't do any sport and all my sporty friends have moved away from my home town and I have moved from there.

I used to have a band back in my home town that always made me happy and I loved practice. I dislike most the members now and they don't care about the band. I write 100% of every song and they can't even be bothered to learn and play them a lot of the time. It takes us 2 months to work up a new song which is pathetic.


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Canis
post Feb 11 2009, 02:10 PM
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QUOTE (OrganisedConfusion @ Feb 11 2009, 12:52 PM) *
I used to have a band back in my home town that always made me happy and I loved practice. I dislike most the members now and they don't care about the band. I write 100% of every song and they can't even be bothered to learn and play them a lot of the time. It takes us 2 months to work up a new song which is pathetic.

Then they don't deserve you =)
If they're just hanging around thinking "Ouphfff.... Fine... Let's play some.... Awhhhh.... Ophhfffmmmmaaah.... iiiiiiih...." then there has to be some other people around who might show some more dedication for music?

Also, drink lots of water... Helps me laugh.gif

This post has been edited by Canis: Feb 11 2009, 02:10 PM


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Caelumamittendum
post Feb 11 2009, 02:13 PM
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QUOTE (OrganisedConfusion @ Feb 11 2009, 12:52 PM) *
Depression is horrible and I always used to believe that it didn't exist but I am well and truly battling it. And no matter how your brain keeps thinking it's stupid you still carry on feeling very miserable. I even know why the depression started but that doesn't seem to help. I used to have loads of friends I cared about and played football, tennis, and other sports every day with them so I was really fit. Now I have one great friend who I'm too scared to move away from even though I want some new challenges in America and I'm a beer swilling, curry eating freak now laugh.gif I don't do any sport and all my sporty friends have moved away from my home town and I have moved from there.


You just described my situation, though I've not been in it for as long as you. My doctor adviced me to go see a psychologist, so I'm planning on doing that to get out of this mess.


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opeth.db
post Feb 11 2009, 02:50 PM
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OC-
You have compelled me to write.
I feel for ya. Been on the depression pills (Lexapro), saw a psychiatrist and changed my enviroment.

I just had a son(2nd child) and its weird. My life seems irrelevant anymore. It puts a lot into perspective.
You are kind hearted and super nice Paul. Ill never forget what you said to me about me when I started to question why I was playing guitar in my frustrations thread.

The point is nothing in this thread will help you unless you stand up and take control of your life. Every action you have done since you have gotten to be 25 is a direct result of your decisions.

If you don't like something, change it.
If you hate your job, find a new one.
If you have nothing holding you back where you live, move.
If you stop listening to music/guitar, then quit.
If don't like not having a girlfriend, go get one.
If you hate playing video games and staying up to 4, then quit doin that.

You see the pattern developing? You have no direction at the moment. It seems you can't decide and accept the consequences of your decisions?

What it boils down to is you need to change because the world WILL NOT change for you.

Everyone one made some great points here. I would really listen to them because what really was the point of this thread? Congrats, you have taken the first steps into seeking help.

For me, want to know what helped me? If your interested feel free to PM me.

Take care brother, I hope you get better soon.
Dan

ps. Move to Miami with Jose. It seems to help everyone I know! smile.gif lol
I wish I was there!

This post has been edited by opeth.db: Feb 11 2009, 02:50 PM


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post Feb 11 2009, 02:59 PM
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QUOTE (opeth.db @ Feb 11 2009, 01:50 PM) *
OC-
You have compelled me to write.
I feel for ya. Been on the depression pills (Lexapro), saw a psychiatrist and changed my enviroment.

I just had a son(2nd child) and its weird. My life seems irrelevant anymore. It puts a lot into perspective.
You are kind hearted and super nice Paul. Ill never forget what you said to me about me when I started to question why I was playing guitar in my frustrations thread.

The point is nothing in this thread will help you unless you stand up and take control of your life. Every action you have done since you have gotten to be 25 is a direct result of your decisions.

If you don't like something, change it.
If you hate your job, find a new one.
If you have nothing holding you back where you live, move.
If you stop listening to music/guitar, then quit.
If don't like not having a girlfriend, go get one.
If you hate playing video games and staying up to 4, then quit doin that.

You see the pattern developing? You have no direction at the moment. It seems you can't decide and accept the consequences of your decisions?

What it boils down to is you need to change because the world WILL NOT change for you.

Everyone one made some great points here. I would really listen to them because what really was the point of this thread? Congrats, you have taken the first steps into seeking help.

For me, want to know what helped me? If your interested feel free to PM me.

Take care brother, I hope you get better soon.
Dan

ps. Move to Miami with Jose. It seems to help everyone I know! smile.gif lol
I wish I was there!

Thanks for the reply mate. I guess what I wanted from this thread is hope. Stories of people turning it around gives you motivation. I'm not a person to give up. I'm a person to fight no matter what. I know what I want to do and I've written a list of 5 doable goals that I think would cheer me up.

1. Change my job asap
2. Learn to Drive
3. Save Money for moving
4. Find job in Connecticut, USA by January 2010
5. Do more socialising and sports and less games playing

I think those are the most important changes I need to make. I always have struggled with who I am and what I want to become and achieve and it isn't too late to turn things round. smile.gif

And as for helping you out I always want to help people out. I may have strong views on certain areas and maybe be a bit annoying in that respect but I'm always looking for ways to help people and offer advice to cheer them up. The problem is I tend to be good at cheering others up and bad at cheering myself up sad.gif

This post has been edited by OrganisedConfusion: Feb 11 2009, 03:01 PM


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fatb0t
post Feb 11 2009, 03:06 PM
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"Now, I compare the clinical type of depression to the mind being stuck in a room with locked doors. A depressed person will need to escape that room and explore others. But the more he stays in that room, the thicker the walls get, the more elaborate the lock gets, and at some point the walls will be so thick and the door so hard to unlock, that trying to get out "naturally" just won't work."

That's a pretty awesome analogy Keneda...

Seems like you need a serious change of scenery... Come to the USA for a bit, move someplace warm, it's not as dreary as the UK!
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Caelumamittendum
post Feb 11 2009, 03:09 PM
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QUOTE (fatb0t @ Feb 11 2009, 03:06 PM) *
"Now, I compare the clinical type of depression to the mind being stuck in a room with locked doors. A depressed person will need to escape that room and explore others. But the more he stays in that room, the thicker the walls get, the more elaborate the lock gets, and at some point the walls will be so thick and the door so hard to unlock, that trying to get out "naturally" just won't work."

That's a pretty awesome analogy Keneda...


Hit the nail on the head with that quote.


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Rated Htr
post Feb 11 2009, 04:45 PM
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QUOTE (opeth.db @ Feb 11 2009, 01:50 PM) *
If you don't like something, change it.
If you hate your job, find a new one.
If you have nothing holding you back where you live, move.
If you stop listening to music/guitar, then quit.
If don't like not having a girlfriend, go get one.
If you hate playing video games and staying up to 4, then quit doin that.


Your solutions are correct but, gonna ask you something, if I tell a drug addict to stop taking drugs because it's bad for him, you think he can let them go just because I said it? It's not easy...
In my way, I'd say...


If you don't like something, change it or accept it
If you hate your job, find a new one or, if you can't, accept it...
If you have nothing holding you back where you live, move. (This one is easy...)
If you stop listening to music/guitar, then quit or, if you believe it's dued to your state of mind, do a pause...
If don't like not having a girlfriend, go get one or, if you can't get one, it's not because you're ugly or something like that, is because life ain't just/people don't like good people like you/people are dumb, etc...
If you hate playing video games and staying up to 4, then quit doin that. (This one can be replaced by a new hobby, for example, I run every day at 6am to wake up my mind, eventually at night, you'll prefer to sleep instead of playing games, like I once did...now I just have insonias...)


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opeth.db
post Feb 11 2009, 08:08 PM
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QUOTE (Rated Htr @ Feb 11 2009, 10:45 AM) *
Your solutions are correct but, gonna ask you something, if I tell a drug addict to stop taking drugs because it's bad for him, you think he can let them go just because I said it? It's not easy...
In my way, I'd say...


If you don't like something, change it or accept it
If you hate your job, find a new one or, if you can't, accept it...
If you have nothing holding you back where you live, move. (This one is easy...)
If you stop listening to music/guitar, then quit or, if you believe it's dued to your state of mind, do a pause...
If don't like not having a girlfriend, go get one or, if you can't get one, it's not because you're ugly or something like that, is because life ain't just/people don't like good people like you/people are dumb, etc...
If you hate playing video games and staying up to 4, then quit doin that. (This one can be replaced by a new hobby, for example, I run every day at 6am to wake up my mind, eventually at night, you'll prefer to sleep instead of playing games, like I once did...now I just have insonias...)


I was a drug addict. I did that for a long time. I knew they were bad for me. Everyone told me they were bad for me.


The point of my post if you have problems seek help. If things are troubling you, make some changes. He's bothered by his lifestyle and apparently not accepting it or e wouldn't be posting here.

Im not trying to debate you on whats right or wrong. This is just my opinion. I don't accept anything if Im bothered by something. I make changes. Everybody does thing diffently and gets different results.


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Rated Htr
post Feb 11 2009, 08:27 PM
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QUOTE (opeth.db @ Feb 11 2009, 07:08 PM) *
I was a drug addict. I did that for a long time. I knew they were bad for me. Everyone told me they were bad for me.


The point of my post if you have problems seek help. If things are troubling you, make some changes. He's bothered by his lifestyle and apparently not accepting it or e wouldn't be posting here.

Im not trying to debate you on whats right or wrong. This is just my opinion. I don't accept anything if Im bothered by something. I make changes. Everybody does thing diffently and gets different results.


I'm not discussing either, each one has it's own life style...But I speak for experience, after long periods of time, working, making efforts and failing, eventually, you are bound to accept that things just aren't gonna change...


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fatb0t
post Feb 11 2009, 08:31 PM
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QUOTE (Rated Htr @ Feb 11 2009, 02:27 PM) *
I'm not discussing either, each one has it's own life style...But I speak for experience, after long periods of time, working, making efforts and failing, eventually, you are bound to accept that things just aren't gonna change...


Speak for yourself, you're only 17 man. How long of a period of time could you have experienced?
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opeth.db
post Feb 11 2009, 08:35 PM
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QUOTE (Rated Htr @ Feb 11 2009, 02:27 PM) *
I'm not discussing either, each one has it's own life style...But I speak for experience, after long periods of time, working, making efforts and failing, eventually, you are bound to accept that things just aren't gonna change...


Very good my friend. smile.gif

But I agree with fatbot. Your 17. I was 17 once and thought I knew everything too.

This post has been edited by opeth.db: Feb 11 2009, 08:37 PM


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Rated Htr
post Feb 11 2009, 08:39 PM
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I don't think I know everything, but I also don't think that age equals wisdom either...


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fatb0t
post Feb 11 2009, 08:52 PM
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It doesn't mean wisdom but it does give you a better perspective of what time really means...and how long a 'long period of time' really is.
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post Feb 11 2009, 09:35 PM
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QUOTE (fatb0t @ Feb 11 2009, 07:52 PM) *
It doesn't mean wisdom but it does give you a better perspective of what time really means...and how long a 'long period of time' really is.


True, agree with you there, but maybe sometimes life seems to pass so slow, because of pain...


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Les Paul
post Feb 12 2009, 02:55 AM
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1. My job is terrible. I get paid really well but it's the most depressing work I could possibly imagine and the manager complains at me daily and never tries to help out and he has had a general dislike of me from the start. I HAVE to find a new job. I can't carry on living with this job as every day makes me feel suicidal. I have to change this.

I too had a job like that and it took me forever to leave. In retrospective, it was bit like going back to abusive relationship thinking that things will be better tomorrow. Well, no, tomorrow won’t be any better. Like everyone else suggested, prepare your self, upgrade your skills, and get the hell out of there. Don’t stay a moment longer than you have to, but please do prepare your self first.

It may not seem like that to you now, but lots of people gone through something similar in their lives. I’m curious, how old are you now? I’m late 30’s.


4. I have like 1 friend that I care about and that is it and this means most weekends I just sit infront of the TV playing games for 2 days straight with about 4 hours for sleep in between.

You know, OC, I would have to disagree with you there about having “1 friend”. Look at how many people have replied to you, and showed that they care. I’m new to GMC, but I truly surprised how many people are taking their time to discuss things with you.

Once you open up your heart (like you did here), you will be surprised how many people will open up their heart back to you. biggrin.gif

Looks like you are ready to join back some sport clubs, and I highly agree that you should do that as well. I belong to sport clubs and I know that I made some like-minded, good friends there.

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jdriver
post Feb 12 2009, 08:38 AM
Post #60


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Group: Members
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Joined: 25-May 08
From: Southwest USA
Member No.: 5.174



QUOTE (OrganisedConfusion @ Feb 9 2009, 10:43 AM) *
I'm glad you turned things around. I'm 25 so I like to think I've still got time to turn things around for the better. But I know all too well that I need to sort it now before I miss what are supposed to be the best years of your life.


Many people don't find a career they like until their 30's or even 40's. As for being alone and wanting quiet, it's called Solitude, and I highly recommend it.

At 25, you've got a lot of living and changing to do. I didn't get what I really wanted out of life until I was 50, and by then I had realized that material things mean nothing.

I can see how living in UK could be depressing, isn't it cloudy most of the time? I can't live without sunshine!

I wish you the best, I know nothing anyone can say will fix you, you'll have to find your own path.


--------------------
"I dreamed a lot when I was younger..
I'm older now but still I hunger
For some understanding.
There's no understanding, now.
Was there ever?

...Joe Puerta (Ambrosia)...


Finally got a YouTube page going.
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