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> Sonet For Marina
Rated Htr
post Mar 4 2009, 09:01 PM
Post #1


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Hi guys, here's a little different writing from me, a sonet for the girl I like smile.gif

Have you ever heard?
The wonders of the world
When in your eyes
the value passes by
Only leaving room for words
In a world far away
Distant lands we walk
Appart from our hands
Writing tales of the days
Wonders of dreams by
(Wanting more, wishing you)

Chorus
The fallen can't recognize spells
Ignorance or yells
Faith appears to be born again
But uthopies might remain
The fallen can sense the bliss
A dream of a kiss
But there's a wall
That breaks the enchanted dream

I felt I could tell
The fear, in my mind
Reason lost its shell
I no longer want to hide
It ended badly
But I still dream
No one would expect
This posture from me
The one who was from...


Chorus


In my heart, a beat rises again
How many years have passed
From storms, prisons, torture racks
And misfigured sights
Take my hand and follow me cause...
I won't end alone on the path I walk


COPYRIGHTS: FILIPE ROCHA @2009

This post has been edited by Rated Htr: Mar 5 2009, 02:23 AM


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Eat-Sleep-andJam
post Mar 4 2009, 09:54 PM
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QUOTE (Rated Htr @ Mar 4 2009, 12:01 PM) *
Hi guys, here's a little different writing from me, a sonet for the girl I like smile.gif
this is a genre I know to well rolleyes.gif biggrin.gif
Have you ever heard?
The wonders of the world
When in your eyes
the value passes by
Only leaving room for words
In a world far away
Distant lands we walk
Appart from our hands
Writing tales of the days
Wonders of dreams by
(Wanting more, wishing you)
Even by reading this, I already know she means alot more to you then your letting on.
Chorus
The fallen can't recognize spells
Ignorance or yells
Faith appears to be born again
But uthopies might remain
The fallen can sense the bliss
A dream of a kiss
But there's a wall
That breaks the enchanted dream
I love when you write lines like this^, some rhyming that you add in very well.
I felt I could tell
The fear, in my mind
Reason lost its shell
I no longer want to hide
It ended badly
But I still dream
No one would expect
This posture from me
The one who was from...
Hmm. I dont know. This makes me think you were once with her, but it ended badly. But everytime when you see her, you cant help but think you want to be with her.

Chorus


In my heart, a beat rises again
How many years have passed
From storms, prisons, torture racks
And misfigured sights
Take my hand and follow me cause...
I won't end alone in the path I walk

Maybe now shes come back?----------I dont know. I love stuff like this, its usually how I write because its from the heart. I wish the best for you and Marina.
COPYRIGHTS: FILIPE ROCHA @2009



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Marek Rojewski
post Mar 4 2009, 10:18 PM
Post #3


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Nice writing You have done "fallen one" wink.gif I know You won't end alone on the path! The only thing that haven't "fit" my taste was this part:

But there's a wall
That breaks the enchanted dream

In my simple mind, walls are there to break them, not to do the breaking part laugh.gif On the other side it gives some more twist to the text.


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Rated Htr
post Mar 4 2009, 11:05 PM
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my mistake laugh.gif

@Eat
No, I was never with her, I declared myself to her, she didn't say yes or no, but not being yes doesn't suit me tongue.gif So I consider that declaration was bad tongue.gif

BTW, forgot to mention before, on the last part, no I'm not with her (Yet! laugh.gif ), I meant I've surpassed my past smile.gif

@Marek
Walls are obstacles, there are there to break exactly, when you're depressed, they seem unbreakable, but that's what I mean, for my dream to happen, there's only a wall wink.gif

This post has been edited by Rated Htr: Mar 5 2009, 02:24 AM


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Alternate Picking: Alternate Picking Workout #5
Chords: Chord Melody Technique

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