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> I Dont Know How To Deal With This.
TreyDeschamp
post Jul 4 2009, 05:52 AM
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My bestfriends little sister, almost like a sister to me died today. She was tubing and flew off and hit a tree that ended her life. I dont know what to do. I'm a wreck. I rarely talk to her but today I did. I find it ironic. Like a last goodbye. I'm sorry about posting this on the forum its my own problem. I'm sorry guys.


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Emir Hot
post Jul 4 2009, 07:50 AM
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oh man, sorry to hear that. I never feel good when I hear things like this even if I don't know people from the story. I don't know how to help you, you just need remain strong and find your way.


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Jesse
post Jul 4 2009, 09:08 AM
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Oh man, that's horibble....


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Canis
post Jul 4 2009, 09:58 AM
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Oh man... I'm so sorry to hear that! My deepest condolences to both you and her family sad.gif


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Pedja Simovic
post Jul 4 2009, 10:44 AM
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That is very bad news and I can't really give you any advice except to try and be strong somehow.


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Tolek
post Jul 4 2009, 11:23 AM
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mellow.gif sad.gif sad.gif sad.gif
Sorry to hear such bad news. sad.gif My condolences to you and her family.

What is tubing?

This post has been edited by Tolek: Jul 4 2009, 11:24 AM
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Canis
post Jul 4 2009, 11:27 AM
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QUOTE (Tolek @ Jul 4 2009, 12:23 PM) *
What is tubing?

Sitting in a kind of rubber tube behind a boat.


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Saoirse O'Shea
post Jul 4 2009, 11:40 AM
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I've been through the deaths of several family and close friends Trey. FWIW in my experience I found that at first you'll remember your friend all the time but as time goes on whilst they'll remain in your thoughts it will be less prominently. For me I set aside some time on a particularly important day for that person.

Also I would recommend talking to others who knew her well about the good times you shared and all the positive things. Again, in my experience, its better to talk about these things rather than to bottle it in. You and your close ones are in grief and I think it helps if you can support each other at this time.

My condolences to all concerned.


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Ivan Milenkovic
post Jul 4 2009, 11:59 AM
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thats a terrible tragedy man sad.gif Really sorry to hear that, I think you should be together with the family in this time of grief, and just talk nicely about her. In time the wounds will heal more and more. Be strong mate


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TreyDeschamp
post Jul 4 2009, 03:22 PM
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QUOTE (tonymiro @ Jul 4 2009, 05:40 AM) *
I've been through the deaths of several family and close friends Trey. FWIW in my experience I found that at first you'll remember your friend all the time but as time goes on whilst they'll remain in your thoughts it will be less prominently. For me I set aside some time on a particularly important day for that person.

Also I would recommend talking to others who knew her well about the good times you shared and all the positive things. Again, in my experience, its better to talk about these things rather than to bottle it in. You and your close ones are in grief and I think it helps if you can support each other at this time.

My condolences to all concerned.


I just don't know what to do when I see her brother. I dont know what to say to him that might not set him off.


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Sensible Jones
post Jul 4 2009, 03:41 PM
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Sorry to hear that, it's never easy and there are no straightforward answers. Time is the only healer and not bottling things up, talk to her brother, he's your friend and probably needs your support more that he'll tell you!


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Saoirse O'Shea
post Jul 4 2009, 03:43 PM
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I don't think there is a 'right' thing to say or do Trey - best you can do imho is show that you're there for him.


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skennington
post Jul 4 2009, 05:59 PM
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Sorry to hear this Trey. As others have said, do talk to you friend and be their for him. You will all have a grieving process to go through and probably all handle it in different ways. Just be strong and with time, the pain will ease.

My sincere condolences to you and her family, hang in there man.


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TreyDeschamp
post Jul 4 2009, 06:08 PM
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I talked to her brother this morning on the phone. I can tell he's out of his mind. I dont think its hit him yet that shes gone. His youngest sister talked to me too shes around 5 years old I think I can tell shes confused. I dont even know if she thinks Madison is gone. She seemed fine. Thanks guys.


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playaxeman
post Jul 4 2009, 06:24 PM
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This is really sad i am sorry to hear this buddy.

My condolences to you and her family.

I wish I could do more for you, I hope you will be strong.







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The Uncreator
post Jul 4 2009, 07:39 PM
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Be tough man, you will get through it.

There isn't really a right thing to say, Just let him know if he needs anything you'll help him out.
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DaniHel
post Jul 4 2009, 11:19 PM
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There really isn´t much you can do...
I can tell you from personal experience (my father passed away when i was 15, 3 years ago) that time is the only healer. That feeling like someone is gripping your heart really tight will only fade in time, and hopefully all that will remain are good memories.

All i can tell you is that there is no patting on the back, no words that can help. What everyone affected by it need is time for themselves, alone, to grieve. In their own time they will eventually branch out to other people to talk or something. You only need to be there for them with whatever they may need.



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slash48
post Jul 4 2009, 11:52 PM
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There is not much to do but I know what some people do is after a death they feel guilty when they show happiness, and they feel its dirspectfull to the person who passed away but i realy dont think its right to do that because then your just hurting your own life. I think he sould try his best to move on because he can always move on and still remember that person in his heart. Right now of coarse it would be natural for him to be depressed, but I was just talking about if he was having problems later. Wish you and your friend the best of luck.


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TreyDeschamp
post Jul 5 2009, 05:54 AM
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It gets worse. I'm scared to look at her picture and the wake is tomorrow and its open casket. I didn't want to look but my friend wants me to be with him when he see's his little sister. I'm not just going to bail on him but I'm not sure how I'm going to take it. I'm afraid to cry in front of him which is something I definatly cant do, but if I need to go outside I know I will feel bad just for leaving him.

Then he wants me to be with him at the funeral. Please God....help...


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SonofDestiny
post Jul 5 2009, 08:11 AM
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Trey, I'm sorry to hear this..

Man, if you need to cry with him there... there is nothing wrong with it. It might even just be what you need to let go a bit.

Take care dude. It'll all be fine in time. smile.gif


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