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> Sorry, My very first lyrics :)
Keilnoth
post Aug 8 2009, 01:57 AM
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QUOTE
Sorry,

I suddenly woke up from this dream
I have been allowing myself to live in.

Nothing is impossible but
Nothing changed since yesterday
Different feelings, Different pains

Raking over my hearth, a brand in my heart
It is all fun till someone gets hurt.
That shouldn't be any of us.
I'll protect you and I'll protect us.

Nothing is impossible but
something changed since the first day
Same conclusions, more solutions

You told me, utterly fond of you and
Speaking of love, how clever people were
to me you are more than everything
Stop playing with me, stop leaving me

Nothing is impossible but
Everything changed from that day
Same story, same conclusion

Both standing on the edge
Things then forever changed
We fell of the cliff of purity
Diving into the sea of certainty

I suddenly wake up from this dream
I am allowing myself to live in.
But nothing changed since yesterday


The story behind this will sound pretty stupid. I promised a girl to write a song about our situation which is currently not very comfortable. It's not really a love song, it's more a no love song. I feel like it should sound something like "You" from Radiohead. Not violent but not a boring slow. Well, I didn't composed the music for now. Just wondering if people would like the lyrics. smile.gif

EDIT : typo

This post has been edited by Keilnoth: Aug 13 2009, 08:47 PM


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Eat-Sleep-andJam
post Aug 11 2009, 10:51 PM
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That was nice. smile.gif

It would be really cool to see you write some more, and think more in a Song Structure.
Vocal Melody etc. etc.


But yeah, good start.

I like the sea of purity part.

Sounds like something I would write laugh.gif


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Keilnoth
post Aug 13 2009, 04:12 PM
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Thanks a lot for your comment! It's really helping.
It's probably going to take me a full year to have a perfect melody and composition anyways. tongue.gif

How can I transcribe a vocal melody on the forum? smile.gif

Those lyrics are organized like INTRO CHORUS VERSE CHORUS VERSE ... OUTRO

This post has been edited by Keilnoth: Aug 14 2009, 08:18 AM


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Rated Htr
post Aug 13 2009, 04:39 PM
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Sorry,

I suddenly woke up from this dream
I have been allowing myslef to live in.

Typo there, nothing to worry about, advice for the future, analise the lyrics before posting them to see if there any accidents smile.gif. Like the use of the word "allowing", it seems you didn't want it, just gave it room to happen

Nothing is impossible but
Nothing changed since yesterday
Different feelings, Different pains

Oh, contradictions, my favourite things! smile.gif Sudden change of the character

Raking over my hearth, a brand in my heart
It is all fun till someone gets hurt.
That shouldn't be any of us.
I'll protect you and I'll protect us.

First verse, wonderful! Other three verses seem like a moral or advice.

Nothing is impossible but
something changed since the first day
Same conclusions, more solutions

More solutions? You lost me there mate, this contradiction doesn't feel right to me, I would say same conclusions, less solutions, since you've tried various ways to differ from those conclusions.

You told me, utterly fond of you and
Speaking of love, how clever people were
to me you are more than everything
Stop playing with me, stop leaving me

Finally, I'm reaching a consense of ideas, the wisdom a person gets and the fear that appears when someone is dependent on another person's atittudes

Nothing is impossible but
Everything changed from that day
Same story, same conclusion

Both standing on the edge
Things then forever changed
We fell of the cliff of purity
Diving into the sea of certainty

I suddenly wake up from this dream
I am allowing myslef to live in.
But nothing changed since yesterday

This reminds me alot of Kingdom Hearts smile.gif. Starting dreams, hoping utophies, finding out the logical truth of reality after we allow ourselves to see it. Very good first lyrics mate, keep on writing smile.gif


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Jesse
post Aug 13 2009, 04:51 PM
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kingdom hearts? I frikking love that game.


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Keilnoth
post Aug 13 2009, 09:02 PM
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QUOTE
More solutions? You lost me there mate, this contradiction doesn't feel right to me, I would say same conclusions, less solutions, since you've tried various ways to differ from those conclusions.


It's still about contradiction and how confusing are those feelings when love is impossible. NoOooO IT'S POSSIBLE!.

Here, we still have the same conclusions even though we have more solutions. The contradiction is perhaps on the inversion of both terms as well. If you read "more solutions, same conclusions", then the sentence has much more sense.

But I wrote it that way because in the 3rd chorus I've already finished the verse by the word conclusion. tongue.gif

Sorry for the typo... I've corrected it. And thanks a lot for reading.


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Alexiaden93
post Aug 15 2009, 11:44 PM
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Beautiful lyrics, man ! smile.gif I can't wait to hear the melody... biggrin.gif

And since we're checking for typos ...
"We fell off the cliff of purity" smile.gif

Keep it up, 'dis gonna be good.


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Frederik
post Aug 15 2009, 11:57 PM
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i usually dont like reading lyrics by themselves, but this is great smile.gif esspecially for a love song, where the lyrics are often plain and (too) simple
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